[Shalom]

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby that was born last month, the birth mother is someone we have know for years. She chose us to adopt her child. We decided to go with an agency closer to home. The reason for going through an agency is because we live in a state that we need a home study done. The agency is a Christian Agency. While doing our home study we stated that 7 years ago, we had a child we were fostering removed from our home by DHS due to me having Depression Actually it was diagnosed as:


Depressive Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (NOS)
If a patient exhibits the depressive symptoms as the major feature of their disorder, but does not meet the criteria for any other mood disorder or any other mental disorder, then the depressive disorder, NOS is used.

Since 2004 I have not had Depression and do not take medication.

Anyways we stated this clearly to the social worker from the adoption agency. She said okay and received my medical history.

During the researching of the history, DHS still had on their file that we had a child removed due to my depression at the time.

This sent red flags to the agency we are trying to adopt through.

The agency director, stated to us that they are not DHS and the birth mother has chosen us to adopt. They stated they wanted a MMPI test done. They stated the doctor is to make a recommendation and if counseling is needed then the baby will still be placed with us but we would go to counseling and have more post visits done.

So I did the test, with all honesty. Well I received the results and it stated the test was invalid.

Therefore the doctor, won't and can't make a recommendation one way or another for us to adopt. He states it's up to the agency to decide. He stated I didn't need counseling and also that there were no red flags, just that the test was invalid.

The adoption agency now has the rights to the child, the birthmother gave her rights up believing in the agency that my husband and I would be the ones to adopt her daughter. Since the time limit has been up that she can't change her mind (the birth mother) she feels as though she was misled. As do we. The agency states it's still investigating and that DHS has us on file, but when I held a job 8 months ago and had a background check through DHS, it came back clear and I was able to work, so we are all confused.

Now we have waited for almost 1 month since the girl was born, and she is in foster care. The agency doesn't even call us. When we call them they state, still investigating. And also telling the birth mother to think of another family if we are not able to adopt. She states she wants us and believes in us and knows us. The agency states the rights are now theirs and they make the decision of the child.

Please if anyone can give us some help, suggestion which ever. We would so very much appreciate it.

We feel that because I had depression, NOTE HAD!
not even major depression more so situational 7 years ago, and the good Lord healed me. They hang this over our heads. And the birth mother is so worried that her daughter is now in the hands of some agency that gives all of us false hope and is misleading. On top of that this child, is waiting for us to take her home and provide her stability, love, and the willingness to make her birth mother a part of her life. Thank you.

Sorry I wrote so much but I really wanted to put it all out there. Any response would be great!

[bromanchik]

What state are you in? In MI the agency has to have a really good reason to do this. The birthmom might consider going back to probate to let the judge know what's going on.

[Biblemom]

Shalom, any update?

[Gospelfan]

My husband and I are in the process of adopting, the agency we are with has a policy that if a foster parent has recieved counceling, they must get a letter from a councelor stating that they are currently emotionally stable enough to adopt a child.
It took four or five phone calls, but I found a councelor who was able to do this... I wonder if your agency woudl do the same.
Is there a way you can request a meeting, if you show a sincere heart to work with them, most case workers will work with you and show you the deficits you might need to overcome or let you know either way if this will be able to happen. (note, I said, "most" so I hope your's will fall into this category.)
If one person scored the test as invalid, request another administer of the test. Some psychological tests can't be administered again within a certain time period, so you might ask if other tests could replace this. I sure would make sure you have someone who's seasoned and knows what they're doing so you don't risk another goofy test score. ya know?
I hope this was helpful.

In His Service,
Gospelfan