[mouschi]

The question is this:

Does God carve out specific paths for us to follow, or is His will just basically the great commission? I'd love to hear your Biblically based thoughts on this. We have some friends about to adopt and the husband thinks that they are called to adopt this one specific child in another country ... everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. The wife used to think that EVERYTHING happened for a reason, but now she is of the mindset that God has placed in their hearts to help other children, but not necessarily adopt one specific child. She believes that God has called them to serve - and since their heart is for helping other children, then that is the calling for them. It is obviously not as specialized/special feeling as a single carved out path, but what are your thoughts?

[EmmaLeigh2882]

I personally believe that God allows challenges to be in our path of life to help us to grow- but also to help us maneuver to the right path. Just because it is hard it doesn't mean its a no-go. But on the other hand God gives us common sense. Sometimes the door is close for us for a reason.

God choose us a path, though he guarantees us his companionship along the way- he doesn't guarantee that we will know where it leads- after all His word is a lap to our feet- not to our path. We, at best will only see on or two steps at a time. As long as we are open to His plan without trying to manipulate what we want into it, we will always find His peace.

He does give us peace in the storm, and the walls of our prison/hardship are to be used as supports for our branches to bear fruit.

I usually just pay that God will overrule for good in every situation- especially when I don't know which way to pray.

Although my husband is not religious, I have found more often then not, God will use him to lead me in the right direction- God's plan for a family structure is for the man to lead ( personal belief). I also try to get sound advice from people I trust.

Hope this helps?

[CovenantMom]

I know what it feels like to have so many obstacles get in your way, emotionally, financially, spiritually, and procedurely. But, my husband and I know that God put Isabella in our life and because we're solid on this, we don't even think that we're doing anything against His will. Before you even lift a finger to start the adoption process, you must be in prayer for a long time, seek counsel, talk with your spouse...alot! It took us over two years of praying, etc to come to the decision to adopt. I think that's only a question a particular couple can answer... is this God's will for us. A couple must be "one" in this. If they're not, things will fall apart.

In the Christian life, it seems as if we're to "chase" God's will and hope that things go well. But I think that God uses our personaliy, likes and dislikes, natural inclinations to fulfill His holy will. And because His will is Holy... hey... we can peacefully submit... the Spirit will lead.

God's Peace.

Susan

[Christmas]

EmmaLeigh, thank you for what you said. I believe in many of the points you made!!

[EmmaLeigh2882]

If life was easy, we wouldn't develop character. Its seems to me that the harder the struggle the sweeter the person of true character becomes.

Its amazing to me how I am drawn to such loving, sweet, kind and broken people. God's love really shines thru the broken pieces of their lives...

Perhaps this is why a loving God allows for sin, therefore also allows for heartache... without it there would be no hope, mercy or need for redemption. Therefore we would never feel the deep need for forgiveness and closeness to Him.

Hardships bring closeness to those who believe, and close those who do not.
Its not the pain, but the proof pain brings that God desires for us.

If the road were too easy, we would not draw nearer to God. If we were not close to God, we allow temptation- then followed closely by sin to enter our path and walk with us... Even well meaning intentions can be sin, if we allow it to overrule God's plans for us.

I guess what I am saying is don't fear the path you don't know, just hold onto the Prince of Peace.

Don't follow the path of comfort, just the path of Life.

[Jody M]

Moushi, thanks for writing and posting your question. There are no easy answers here for the God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. We think in earthly ways and His sovereignty goes beyond the boundaries of this earth and time frame. I love what EmmaLeigh said- to just trust the Lord and hold on to Him step by step. And when trials come are way, they can be allowed by the Lord for our ultimate good and His glory. There is also spiritual warfare at work when we desire to do something that honors God and is good. Those walking God's paths can meet up with resistance for our enemy, Satan is not please.

I love the bible verse that says Do not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season, you shall reap if you faint not.
Hold on to Hope and to Faith.

Blessings, Jody

[Cristi727]

My husband and I both felt like it was Gods will for us to become foster parents. We thought we would have children placed with us, help them reconnect with their families, and take time in between placement to just enjoy each others company (we have no bio children)

Although I truly believe we were following Gods will for our life, he had other plans. We finalized the adoption of our 2 boys last November 2006. If anyone would have told us this was the route we'd go I don't think I would have believed them.
I love the phrase, "I make plans, and God laughs". I know that my husband and my plans intially probably made God laugh. We were trying to plan our lives around the path God put us on, not following the path. I look back at our 3 year + battle to adopt our boys and realize the hand God played in our adoption.

At our last hearing everything was suppossed to be continued (for the 3rd time) and right there in the courtroom courtyard I called on Gods name to lead the battle that I was too weak to go into alone. I called on Him to provide us with closure and be a strong presence in the courtroom. When we were called into the courtroom our sw told us that it was going to be continued again but I just sat in constant prayer. God is faithful. The judge to everyones surprise granted TPR to our case. I knew God had heard my pleas and that it was His time to end the case.

Going through this process was extremly tough on all of us, emotionally and spiritually. I don't think I have ever been brought to my knees the way I was during the adoption period. I became the closest I ever was with God, and also pushed myself away from him at other times. "God is no mere human. He does not lie or change his mind. God always keeps his promises" Numbers 23:19. God kept his promises even though at times my husband and I "slipped up" in our faith.

I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that our boys were meant for us. We had to go through this to build the character traits in us that God knew we needed. (ex. patience, faithfulness).

I believe that God puts a calling on our heart, and if we examine ourselves closely, and ask him that his will be done, you will find the right path.

For me that path was to help children. I knew that it was one of my God given gifts to love someone elses children as if they were my own for I was a nanny all through the end of highschool and 6 years of college. I just didn't know how to use it to give glory back to God.

I am thankful for the hard times for they sculpted me into the person and mother the boys needed me to be.

[Jody M]

Cristi, your adoption story is absolutely beautiful and you can see God's fingerprints all over it! As you said, the trials God allows in our lives, though painful at the time, are only meant for our ultimate good and God's glory. It is moving just to see the hand of God lead you through to victory in these times. And then, you see how it was an equipping time to prepare you for being the best parents for these precious boys. And Cristi you also said you had been a nanny- God knew beforehand the path that would equip you for your future position as a mom.
I am an adoptee and was in foster care for nine months before my adoptive parents brought me to their home. I thank God for all the parents he chose for me to give me life, my early care and then through my adoption. I truly hope many adoptees can ponder their own adoption and see the beauty in it, despite the hills and valleys they may have gone through. Often I think on the fact that I could have been aborted, and then I am in awe of the wonder of the gift of life and adoption!
Thanks again for sharing Christi!
Blessings, Jody

[Cristi727]

Thank you Jody,

I felt priviliged and blessed to share my story. I am in constant awe at Gods faithfulness and mercy.

I am thankful that you found your forever family and that you have such a thankful heart.

Have a blessed Christmas!

[brink]

There are some very good thoughts here. One thing we specifically have done during our adoption processes (and in other areas where we have stepped out in faith) is to pray that God will close doors if we are stepping out of His will. We pray that He won't allow things to proceed if it isn't His will that we complete something we are about to start. T he last thing we would want to do is step out of His will, to proceed with adopting a particular child we feel He has laid on our heart, it it truly was only our idea and not His. He has closed a couple of doors on what we thought might be our referral and led us to each of the four children we have through adoption. We also pray for wisdom concerning decisions we need to make in life. The Bible says that if anyone lacks wisdom, ask God. He gives it generously is what the verse goes on to say. But we have to ask, to search the Bible, and then be willing to wait, to listen, and to accept God's leading. It's not always the answer we'd like to hear, but it's the best answer. I believe God does use circumstances in to shape our character, because I believe eternity is what He is preparing believers for.

[thanksgivingmom]

As a bmom, I felt God's presence every step of the way as my daughter was brought into this world. I knew that I would not be the person to raise my daughter, and I knew that God was granting someone else a wish when she was placed into her amoms arms.

My daughter was born on Thanksgiving, a day when the rest of my family was thanking God for all he has provided over the years. Left home alone, I gave birth to my daughter alone in my bedroom. I was terrified and prayed for her safe arrival. There are a thousand things that could go wrong and they didn't. She was born healthy and perfect. I got her to the hospital immediately and she was perfect.

The circumstances of her conception and my pregnancy were very negative, but through God I found the strength and courage to bring my child into this world. I had to surrender my child for her safety and well-being. After the night I brought her to the hospital I thought I would never see her again. Four days later, something brought me back to the hospital. I felt I needed to go to her. She had been placed with a loving, wonderful woman, D, who wrote me a letter. I had felt so lost for the past four days, I felt that I was without a path. The letter provided me with one. I was invited to be a part of my daughters life. The amom expressed that she wanted my daughter to know me. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and hope. More than anything, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that God had been such a part of this process.

Every day is a struggle for me. God has not made the placement of my daughter easy. However, God has given me the strength to survive these events. It is my belief that God has not only provided me with a path, but that He has provided me the courage to take that path. Each day is a test, but I feel like it is God's will that I can succeed.

[Jody M]

Thanks Brink for sharing! And yes God in some circumstances closes doors and it is clear to us that he is leading us in other ways or has other plans. And then there are times that he seems silent and we are pondering what to do. I have come to believe that God is a God of love and gives us some room and space in our choices when our decisions do not involve clearl black or white (right or wrong) or moral issues where His Word, the Bible is clear about. In those circumstances that are not moral issues I do think He allows us GRACE to choose but I believe he sees our heart and our willingness to call upon Him and honor Him- that is what is important- the condition, motive of our heart- desiring to do His will. Thanks for sharing your experience and adoption journey. I love the attitude that you pray in Brink, that you ask God to close doors. I believe He does make it clear when we should not continue a certain path or go forward with something. But when He does not, I truly believe He gives us His grace to make choices and just trust Him and honor Him in the process.

Great discussions! Blessings, Jody

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

I have to say, when I was a little girl I used to pray that I would one day be a mommy. When DH and I started to try to conceive, I was devastated. Here I was...lived a good clean life, avoided drugs, didn't have sex until I was into my 20s, good grades in school, good job, positive leader in my family and in the circles I ran in. So at age 33, as I am on about month 8 of Clomid, bent over the doctor table getting yet another shot in the butt, I am asking WHY?? Why is it that there are women out there who are able to have miltiple children, yet take for granted their fertility and the gift of a child, or children in their lives??

I was angry when I was told "You have unexplained infertility". I had put on SO much weight with the fertility treatments, I hated having sex with my husband since we had been doing it "on schedule" for more than a year, and it felt as though our love for each other was quickly slipping away. DH's ex-wife relished in our struggles, telling me not to try too hard to have my own child because she just knew that I would stop loving hers once I had my own. She would tell the girls to just give up on the idea of having a baby brother because it was never going to happen.

We chose to give up for many months. Then we saw a news segment that lit the spark and placed the first stone in our path of adoption. Even at that, the EX would tell the girls "You don't get to choose what you get, you will probably get stuck with a teenager." What a bitter woman she is with her 3 children and 2 abortions under her belt. It was really hard to keep undoing the damage she was bestowing on the girls between the weekends we had them.

Then it happened, we got our first call and placement...2 day old Bug. What an amazing blessing. Four months later 8 week old Bear came to us. Within a year of them each being placed with us they were adopted. Why did we have to go thru all the challenges?? I think it is so that we can laugh at the little things that some parents take for granted...for example, Bug pooped on the floor today...pure accident and mostly our fault for not being quicker with the diaper after bath. We had a good laugh about it. DH exclaimed as he was dropping it in the toilet "Bug had his first poop in the big boy potty!" Bear recently had his first tattle-tale on his brother. It was so funny and so cute that I had to share it with everyone!

God put our family (DH, the girls, and I) thru everything so that when the gifts arrived in our lives we would appreciate even the silly and sometimes gross moments!

[Jody M]

Thanksgivingmom, thanks for sharing your beautiful birth mother story weaved with the pain and blessings of adoption. I know God is honored in your decision and desires to give you daily strength. I am sad that when I searched and found my birth family by birth parents were deceased. I really wanted to meet them and thank them for giving me life and adoption. I never held bitter feelings for them and I wanted them to see and witness my gratitude and special love for their difficult choices. May God flood you with his comfort, strength and his indescribable peace, for He is the Prince of Peace. Thanks so much for sharing!
Blessings, Jody

[Jody M]

Bug&Bearsmommy, thanks for sharing your precious adoption story- God is a redeeming God. I love the scripture in Joel that says "He will redeem the years the locust ate away" All our trials and struggles are not for naught- God redeems them and strengthens us, gives us His compassion and strength through them and we are always better persons.(If we do not resist the trials and resent them and focus on the negative) I do believe God's refining process is like the refining of gold- the fire is hot (painful and not pleasant) but it burns off the unnecessary and the gold shines prettier and brighter. We are being molded into the image of Christ, so as others see us, they see less of us and more of Jesus shining through.
May the Lord bless your family through the happy days and the hills and valleys we know come with this earthly life. Heaven will be glorious and perfect!
Thanks for sharing! Jody

Blessings, Jody