[Jody M]

Many adoptees who have shared openly in my local adoption triad support group- when they embarked on an adoption search for birth family initially- were looking exclusively for their birth mothers. A few were looking for both birth parents but many felt drawn to seek out their birth mothers. Of course when this journey ended through reunion or contact, many went on to seek their birth fathers as well. I initially sought my birth mother but found out through my non- identifying information that my birth parents were married at the time of my birth and I was their 3rd and last child- only one given up for adoption. This made my desire to find both grow. When I "found" my birth family- my birth parents were both deceased for many years before. I was blessed to meet and reunite with 3 birth sisters who shared much about my birth parents and gave me many photographs of them.
Please share how you navigated adoption search initially- looking for your birth mother? Both birth mother and birth father?
Thanks for posting!
Jody Moreen, Adoptee

[shef]

In my initial search, I was just looking for my bmother. I had kind of shut off any thoughts about my bfather in my head and heart so that wasnt an issue. To be honest I wouldnt let it be.

My bmotehr did not have any info on my bfather. Well nothing she would say anyway. When I met her, I had hoped she would say soemthing about him, but due to my cirucmstances surrounding my conception, it was not a wise thing to do, and so I didnt get to ask her anything about him.

It was really looking at my adoption file last year and having a social worker who was willing to help me, and even suggested I might like to search, that made me think maybe I can do this.

I think that God has been at work in my heart and life over the past few years trying to help me heal enough to get to this point to be able to search. Ive had so much hardness toward him and anger....and its affected my other relationships as well.
But now....God is enabling me to face things and not to be afraid and I am now with help searching for info on him. In fact I am expecting to hear soemthing next week! I couldnt have done any of this searching...for my bmotehr or now my bfather without the help of God and other people like you Jody who have helped me on the christian path.

I found this scripture that many times I keep returning to on this journey:....."When my mother and father forsake me...You will take me up".
If I should not find anything at the end of my search...I know that God will be to me a father becasue He says so.

shefalie

[Jody M]

Thankyou Shefalie for sharing your adoption search journey with us! Your experience of searching for your dad years after your birth mom is most common by adoptees, from what I have observed. How exciting that you are on the brink of finding more information about him. And how wonderful that you have matured so much in your faith journey with God to be prepared for whatever God wills. Knowing He is your heavenly Father forever! Thanks for honoring Him above all- your First Father who has been with you each and every day of your life- from the womb until today and forever!
Blessings and hugs, Jody

[adopted3x]

My initial search began with my birth mom mainly because she was the only one who could legally give me info as to who my bio father was. I was willing to search for both and did wind up doing that.

I lived in a state that at the time, the records were closed. My search began with gathering non-identifying info from the post-adoption social worker (PASW). This PASW did tell me my bio father's nickname which turned out to be one he kept his whole life. More people knew him by his nickname than by his real name. I found my birth mom first, but actually met my bio father first. He lived about 25 mi. from me. I knew him for about ten years before he died last fall. I met my bio mom who lived out of state a few months after meeting my bio father. She had me give her a little while to break the news to her other two children before we met, but she wanted to tell them about me. She had actually worked for my uncle (from the adopted family) many years ago. My bio father, when I found him was divorced and his only other child had been missing for four years and is still a missing person. I was welcomed into both families and am very close to my bio dad's family. Hence my username adopted3x (once to my adoptive parents, into God's family, and then into my birth parent's families).

Anyway, that's a little bit about me. :-)

[Jody M]

Hi Adopted 3x- I love that name! What a fascinating journey to have met both your birth parents and be welcomed into their families! I hope that your birth father's missing child is found in the near future! What a challenging and painful situation!
Blessings in your ongoing adoption journey and thanks for sharing!
Jody

See my Adoption Blog: Devotions for Adopted Persons
www.adopteescafe.blogspot.com