[Jody M]

Adoption from the very closed adoption era, where openness was typically not practiced in most cases between parties, can leave one with many unresolved questions, feelings and sometimes misinformation passed on between the adoptive and birth families. Sometimes information was not gathered, or the birth parent was protecting themselves or others so gave inaccurate information.In some cases social workers took liberty and altered information. Adoptive parents may have shared or withheld information and in some cases sadly may have shared untruths. Medical and ethnic history may have been collected or not. Birth parents, adoptees, and adoptive parents then are left with many unknowns or wrong assumptions about the family on the other side of adoption. This can trigger a need for a search for the answers, for truth and to make contact with the unknown family for information and a possible reunion. As can be seen, this former practice is very different from the degrees of openness in adoption that we see practiced today.
For some the journey through search/reunion is a growth journey, emotionally and spiritually. Some with buried feelings, questions and unresolved grief have the opportunity to resolve and put some closure to their great mystery. Some learn how to articulate their feelings and become assertive in their quest.(and they may have been a timid person before) Some seek out others in support groups and discover that their feelings are not unique. Others share common threads in their feelings and one can find fellow journeymates to identify with and form friendships. Some adoptees or birth family open up communication with their parents about the adoption, which may have been a hushed or unspoken topic in the past.
Though adoption search can result in a variety of outcomes, from dead ends to finding birth family members and being welcomed or denied, or to finding death at the end of the search- many can feel they were given answers or found truth in their quest. Many find closure and can put their questions to rest.
Share how adoption search/and or reunion has impacted you personally- the benefits or the challenges. Thanks for sharing with us so that we may understand more fully the experience of search and reunion for individuals!