[Jody M]

Hi all! My birth mom Lucille was the beautiful woman who gave me life and adoption. I was not fortunate to meet her in this lifetime for she passed away at the young age of 51. I honor her and thank God for touching her to bring me life and adoption. My adoptive mom and I visited her gravesite and thanked her with flowers and loving thoughts and silence as we honored her.
Many birth moms live in our communities and in our churches and neighborhoods. Many of us know birth moms. How can we honor them and share our gratitude. Share here with us how you have honored birth moms, your birth mom - by showing love, and gratitude- was it a gift you gave, a poem you shared, a local gathering, a lovely card you sent, a letter you composed??? Share with us here some ideas on how you have reached out to honor birth moms.
Jody Moreen, reunited adoptee

adoption@wideopenwest.com
www.adoptionblessingsnewsletter.com

[CAROL IN SF]

Oh Jody, please don't be offended. Maybe my views are radical?
In my view, as a birthmother, the most wonderful way anyone can honor there bmother is to honor her on Mothers Day. My son always sends both me and his mother a card and a phone call on Mothers Day. It brings JOY to my heart for him to show me that love. I don't want anything on birthmothers day, to me it would just be a reminder of the hurt and what happened.
GOD IS GOOD!
CAROL S IN SF

[Jody M]

Hi Carol- Birth mothers began the celebration of birth mothers day for they often felt unrecognized as mothers and not honored by society . I believe the reason they chose a separate day is to bring to knowledge that there are millions of birth moms out there who gave children life and adoption and they never forget! And some persons wanting to spend time with their mothers on Mother's Day would find it difficult to spend it with both parties-(I guess that is also true when children marry and have to chose their parents or inlaws to celebrate with- often it is difficult to chose both on the same day unless you live in close proximity and all are happy to be together.
Thanks for sharing! And yes, those birth moms who still have very raw pain and grief it is difficult to focus on a special day. Some desire to be recognized and honored.
Blessings, Jody

[CAROL IN SF]

I am so glad that you understand where I was coming from. When I gave my beloved son to adoption, I was 16, confused, overwhelmed and I felt alone. I gave him up willingly, for his best interests. I always had a big hole in my heart UNTIL we were reunited. I was in a bmother support group. How surprised was I when I kept hearing other bmothers, over and over with that same "hole in the heart" syndrome.
I also found out that a lot of these young girls were sent to the maternity homes and some were not allowed to see or hold there babies. They were told that "you will get over it" and "life will go on" I think that some adoptees don't know of the torture that some bmothers have endured. I don't know how any birthmother can forget or deny her child.
I am off topic, I am sorry.
CAROL

[Jody M]

Carol- I can not even begin to imagine the ongoing pain a birth mom faced- especially years ago in a culture that was not forgiving or encouraging or acting out of grace and love. To not have counsel for these woman was very very cruel and not very wise. I still cannot conceive of how they could tell birthmoms to just move on and forget- impossible- a mother bonds with the baby in the womb and this maternal link does not sever just because of separation.
But I also know that God is bigger than all these pains and hurts life can impose on us- He says He will redeem the years the locust ate away and turn our mourning into dancing for those that turn to him and trust in His name. He is the Great Physician and longs to heal the broken hearted. Thanks for sharing Carol!! Jody