[BrthMom Nancy]

Ok... I have reuinited with the daughter I gave up for adoption. She is a wonderful and beautiful 18 yr old. I love her Mom and Dad and have kept them up on any difficult times she might be going through that I feel is to difficult for her to handle on her own. She has opened up to me on numerous occasions. One thing that has truly been bothering me is she feels that her adoptive mom does not love her as much as their bio son. I have talked to her mom, showed her letters that her adopted mom wrote to me for 11yrs and tried to encourage her. (Funny thing... she is not questioning my love for her?) What more can I do?

Thanks for any advice you might have.

[spitzlvr]

I am not sure I read that right - are you saying that you told her Mom and Dad things that she told you in confidence?

[shoeshopping]

Quote: I have talked to her mom, showed her letters that her adopted mom wrote to me for 11yrs and tried to encourage her. (Funny thing... she is not questioning my love for her?) What more can I do?

You mean you showed your daughter the letters her amom wrote to YOU for 11 years in an attempt to reassure your daughter that the amom loves her very much. Is that what you mean?

?

[BrthMom Nancy]

No, this is not what I am saying. This is actually things she has also talked with her mom about. I would never talk about things that are in confidence unless it is something that is dangerous for her health.

And yes... I did show her the first letter that her Mom wrote to me. It was a letter so filled with love for her. I have talked to her Mom about showing her the letter first. She needed to know that her Adopted Mom loves her so very much.

[spitzlvr]

Did she give you permission to talk to her Mom about these things? Is she aware that you have talked to her about them?

I am coming from the POV of an adult adoptee. I have reunited with my bMom. I treat my bMom as a friend - I talk to her about many things. If she were to go and tell my Mom about what we talk about - without my EXPRESS permission - I would probably end the relationship. That would be a major break in my trust.

[BrthMom Nancy]

She has asked me to help her. This is not something I have done to "go behind her back". So... please ... help me. I really want to see her happy and to realize the true extent of the love that she has in her life.

I think what I need to point out here is she is only 18 years old and not a mature 18 year old. She is still in HS. She is not an adult adoptee. She is still a young and confused.