[katnap80]

Sally.... Prayers, positive thoughts and warm ((((HUGS)))) all going your way as "we" wait for Shannon's response or your next step.
Have a great day with the litlle one.
LOL
"K"

[shirleyville]

I heard from Shannon!

She said she was sorry that she hadn't gotten back with me, but that she hadn't had time to talk to her mom about everything.
She said she was sure her mother wouldn't have lied to her about not knowing who my father was.
She said she knew Mary Ellen and Bob dated for awhile but that was all......which is the most enormous pile of horse pucky she's ever tried to feed me, because, SHE was the one who told me Mary Ellen and Bob were MARRIED at one time! She "knew they dated" my big toe !!!!
Anyway, she then proceded to tell me that Bob was a loser.......heavy smoker who didn't want ANY of his kids -- that's why Roxanne and Robert lived with his parents instead of with him or his wife.
She said (with enormous distaste) that she hoped that gave me some kind of idea about what kind of man he was, and that he was NOTHING like her father!
She said she would get back to me after she'd had a chance to talk to her mom......

So there you have it!!
I am in Indy, so I will have to get off her and check in later!
Hugs,
Sally

[dpen6]

ok sally...my nasty self is going to shine through here....you have been more then genourous in your sensitivity. You have thought and thought about every oneconcerned here...except you.

Shannon has just proved what she really is...she is a mocrocosm of aunt Judy...keep face....revel in my superiority and make sure everyone elses know it too. The fact that she called your bfather a loser is so telling...heck I smoke and not really proud of it but I am no loser!! She doesn't caRE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS, EMOTIONS...SHE will probably ALWAYS take the side of the family.....the ones she knows anyway

Get her out of the picture, she is not good for you or your search. She is only acting as a vehicule for the rest of the family....to know what YOU are up to and what you are doing. When they are in the know they can take actions to pull in the family and "get their stories straight"...with the obovious intent at leaving you out of the picture.

Sally...I got angry at reading your post, the defensive and loyalty came bubbbling up...you may disagree with what I just said..but at least think about it!!

I'm pissed!!

[dl]

shirleyville ~ I am very glad that you heard from Shannon!!! I was hoping that she would be courteous and at least respond.

Don't you just love it when people don't remember what they've previously said!!! For Shannon to have told you that Mary Ellen & Bob were married but to now claim she only knew they had dated for awhile, does smell like an enormous pile of horse pucky!!!!! Can we say cover-up???? Also find it hard to believe that Shannon has NOT "had time to talk to her mom about everything" in over a week.

It will be interesting to hear what else Shannon has to say after she has the time to talk to her Mother. Of course, it will only be the truth ~ the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!!!

Agree with dpen6 ~ Shannon is of no help to you!

Hope you enjoy your time in Indy!!

[shirleyville]

I smoke, too -- and she KNOWS that!!!

[shirleyville]

Since I am not at home, this will all be somewhat sporadic.....
BUT.....
I am really seething, in some ways, ya know???
What a bunch of really JUDGEMENTAL people these folks are!!
I got the same impression when she was first telling me about Mary Ellen.....telling me that they didn't like to frequent her house because they all SMOKE and had ANIMALS in the house.....
Self-important people really piss me off, ya know??
Who are they that they think they are so high and mighty!!
Sometimes, I want to tell her what people around town REALLY think of them!!! I haven't met one person who has had a kind thing to say about Judy, other than she hangs great wallpaper!!
I was sitting here awhile ago, thinking -- what IF Judy really DOESN'T know who my father is??? What if Mary Ellen and Bob didn't want her to know BECAUSE she's such a judgemental person?? Maybe they thought it was best NOT to share?? What if that's one of the reasons Mary Ellen didn't want contact -- she didn't want this to come out??
But then, I suppose that's silly.
I am sure Judy knows.....
And I am sure they will never be truthful with me......
It's just sad -- it really IS!
More later!!
Sal

[dpen6]

Sally, it is sad..sad that we have to tip toe around everyone elses feeling to just obtain info that really and truly BEL:ONGS TO US...we need to understand everyone feelings for our own most basic stuff....and how we are such "good adoptees" if we are ble to understand how everyone else feels and continue to not have what we need becasue we might upset or cause family discord..by the very people that brought us into this world...the sheer secrecy is what caused the discord...not us...but we pay the price....ok...with that little hissy fit I will say that I would't do it any other way...it is not in me to hurt people intentionaly....but that doesn't mean I won't be ticked at the unfairness and the fact that many, many people feel we should just keep quiet, understand their viewpoint and just be thankful of the wonderful lives we have had.

I personally don't care if I have a relationship but why doo I feel like I am bothering poeple by just asking questions???

[GE_Glows]

Oh gosh did I pick the right day to get caught up!

Sal - find Roxanne (Roxy maybe? ) Call her - visit her, do SOMETHING. If ti all comes out - then it does, and it won't be because you broke your word to Mary Ellen - YOU won't be the vehicle that "delivers the news" to anyone. You know, if you DO contact her - it WILL all come out - one way or another - it will. And maybe, just maybe, this is God's way of letting you have your cake and eat it too - the truth comes out and you don't break your word...

And now - my prayer warrior friends - I have a request of my own. There was a misunderstanding at out house last night and the wedding is in jeopardy as a result - would you all pray for our family please?

Thanks all!

GE

[katnap80]

GE..... Hope all gets sorted out with your family. Yu, Bill and the mini me's are definately on my Prayer list.

Sally.... Is Shannon's family last name DENIAL by the way? How can people be so..... HEARTLESS, MISERABLE, GUTLESS are just a few off the cuff. Doesn't Shannon realize that her attack by words was no different than stabbing you in the heart. (Even if she claims that Bob wasn't your father, doesn't she realize that you would feel a bond due to your info) Your cousin is a CRUEL, SELFISH B****. I am ANGRY. Drop the gloves. They had plenty of fair warning. Approach Roxanne and even her mother. Do what you have to do, for you. They have no regard for you, so hold your head high and GO FOR IT, girl.
You remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Love
Karla

[shirleyville]

Well, it would seem that Shannon found some time in her busy schedule to talk to her mother!!! LMAOPMPROTF
She had asked me (as we all knew she would) in the first e-mail how I came to the conclusion that Bob was my father -- and I told her that a friend of my mothers knew some of the information and that the rest of it came from a friend of Bob's!! (which is the truth!)
Well, I guess that must have moved her right along in that phone call to dear old Ma, because she mailed me back a few minutes ago....and in short, here is what she had to say!
She said that she spoke to her mother and that her mother said she "supposed it might be possible, although she had never been told that by anyone." She maintains that to this day, Mary Ellen refused to tell her who the father was.
Anyway, Shannon then went on to tell me all kinds of things about Bob.....and started by apologizing for saying he was a loser and that he didn't want any of his kids.....she said her mother set her straight on that! She said Roxanne and Robert lived with her grandmother because they were so young, and Bob had no one to watch them while he worked.
She told me about Robert's car accident and then she said that Roxanne has been MIA for years. No one knows where she is.....she was married to a guy of another race who beat her, and she divorced him, took off and hasn't been heard from in a long time.
She told me stories about Grandma Shaw......and she some about Grandpa Shaw......
I have no idea what to make of it, really -- other than perhaps her way of saying "yes, Bob's your father" without actually saying it......???
More later.....and GE, I will be praying for you and your whole family!
Hugs,
Sally

[katnap80]

oh Sally....such a wonderful turnaround. We'll keep praying for you.

[RiverGal]

Sally ~ I am totally awed by the grace and reserve in which you have shown dealing with Shannon and Judy. I'm like Donna...my ugly side would have come out long before now!

The info just keeps trickling...and like a starving person before a meal, that's your Hors d'Oeuvre...just enough to keep your emotional appetite screaming for more. I can only imagine the frustration you must be feeling, surrounded with mirrors and smoke-screens...wanting so desperately to see what is reality...your reality!

Many positive thoughts and tons of support are headed your way, my friend.

(((HUGE HUGS)))

~Deb

[dpen6]

ok then...I have had supper, couple glasses of wine....I am better now!!! ,


Sally..please be careful of how much you divulge to shannon...she has way to much power in this whole thing and her mother has even more.

I suggest you try to find roxanne and don't tell anyone!!(but us of course)

Gail,

Good thoughts your way.....I am sure things will get worked out....

Hello everyone else!

Deb, how the heck are ya....dl..you also pocesees the dignity needed in a reunion.....you have a knack at seeing rreality from all sides....

[RiverGal]

Deb, how the heck are ya....

Donna ~ I am hanging in, though sometimes I feel like it is by a fraying thread...LOL!

dl..you also pocesees the dignity needed in a reunion.....you have a knack at seeing rreality from all sides....

I very much agree! Honestly, between the perpetual crisis's I have trudged through the past months, I would have been lost in the fog a long time ago if not for the hundreds (literally) of hours dl has spent with me on the phone during our late-night marathon calls. She has a knack for turning the most complex situations into "AHA!" moments for me.

LeeAnn ~ I finally got two of the Sandra Dallas books...The Chili Queen, and The Persian Pickle Club. I'll probably start them this weekend. Right now I am reading the new Elmore Leonard...Mr. Paradise. He is as zany as Hiaasen...great writer!

GE ~ Terrible bummer that you are going through a bad time. When are you going to be back in town? Sounds like we need a girl's walk on the beach...just the two of us.

~Deb

[FL_GirlByProxy]

Hey GE ~ I'm praying. I hope things seem better as the sun rises tomorrow. Sometimes, time is our best friend. Corny, but true. I'm praying.

Sally ~ I really like Donna's thoughts on you finding Roxanne and not mentioning anything to Shannon. I think Shannon is right under her mother's thumb, and feels as if she's got to fill her mom in on everything. I think her mom has gotten to her in a certain way where she doesn't even see this dependency. Shannon seems really stuck, IMO, trying to do the right thing, but feeling her mother standing over her all the while.

Deb ~ Read Persian Pickle before Chili Queen. I've read Persian Pickle, and I'm halfway through Light in August by William Faulkner. When I'm done, which should be real soon, I'll check my library for Chili Queen! I can't wait to hear what you think of The Persian Pickle Club!

HI EVERYBODY! Didn't do much today, except shop online for window shades. What an abyss that is! Yikes!