[LilOne]

Wasn't sure where to put this but after surfing the forums today and seeing pics of people's children, as well as checking email and seeing people's signature lines w/ their children's websites it really got me thinking.


How is it that some people cannot put forth the effort to send pics to their child(ren)'s Bio/birth/natural/non custodial/first (did I cover them all?) Parent(S) out of privacy concerns, and/or safety concerns, but then feel comfortable broadcasting them all over the internet?

How many of us have shown total strangers our children's pics, or have them on our keychains etc?

I can't figure it out, haven't been able to figure it out the last 2 1/2 years, When my adoption closed, I had to almost chuckle, when told that suddenly I was a danger to my (B)child. I have identifying information, More than enough, but never did we intrude upon their privacy, Heck, I never even sent anything to their home, after the initial stuff went through the agency, but suddenly I was a danger.

I can semi understand it in cases of severe abuse, neglect, or someone has made threats of Kidnapping/extortion etc etc. But voluntary placement? How is one a danger?

Any thoughts?

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi LilOne,

It doesn't make any sense to me either and I'm sorry you are dealing with that!

When I joined this forum in early October my dh and I were set on a closed adoption (we're adopting our foster children). After reading literally hundreds of posts on here we have decided to initiate a relationship with the kid's family.

I truly wish that all people adopting through the foster care system would join this forum (or one similar) and read how important it is for these children to retain the connection to their birth families.

Now, don't get me wrong, we have had kids placed with us that have been terribly hurt in their birth homes. I wouldn't, in a million years, consider an open adoption in that case. That doesn't sound like it's the case in your situation.

Best of luck to you. I hope that some day these parents come to understand how important this issue is to their kids.

Michelle

[Cleopatrick]

Hey LilOne, long time no see. I agree with you. I think jus the fact that this child is biologically the bparents earns them the right to quality pictures showing them happy or sad or playing. Whatever, just showing them living but showing them clearly.

For me personally, I give the bparents school pictures. Since two of them see their kids, they take their own pictures most of the time. Occasionally I get a picture that is just too dang cute so I send them one of those. The other two bparent's that we have an open adoption with I send pictures to since it's impossible to see them at the moment. One I don't send too many to but I e-mail some. We had an issue over exactly what you are talking about, posting the pictures on the web with WAY too much personal information. The other I send the best I have because she's so disabled and some of the things she's accomplished are so amazing that only a really good picture will show it.

As for the posting pictures, I'm probably pretty paranoid, but I don't post pictures on the web of my kids. The couple of times I have posted them it's been in closed groups and I delete them pretty quickly. I know a lot of people that don't have a problem with it, and I figure that's their right and they are probably a whole lot more trusting than me, lol. I can't help it, I just think it's asking for trouble.

I'm sorry your adoption is still closed. I know you are not a danger to your child, actually, I thought you were one of the nicest people I've met. BTW, I still have your kitten, but you can't have him now, lol. I fell in love with the stupid thing. We kept the name Jinx because it just fits him so well. My apologies if you are not the LilOne I am thinking you are. If your not, none of this last paragraph will make sense to you, lol.

[LilOne]

Hey Hey Cleo! yup it's me one and the same...How's my namesake? After my grandma passed, I had a very hard time and "skipped" reality for a bit for lack of a better term.

Anyways, email me if you still have the addy, if not, Drop me a pm and I'll give it to you, I would love to know how all is going w/ you and the kiddos.



~L~