[hilda944]

hello all, I am dizzy from reading the forums and realize I just dont have enough information to give good advice...

Long story shortways... I am an American who teaches English in Shanghai and was recently approached by one of my best students who told me in confidence, that she is pregnant (about two months we're headed to the Doctor later today to get dates)

she has indicated that she wants to place the baby for adoption but that she contacted an agency over here and was really distressed by their money grubbing attitudes and the lack of privacy. she says because they are run by Chinese that a particular amount of judgement comes along with her situation. Additionally, she has been told that it could be up to two years for her child to be "officially" adopted, and that the child would have to go into a shelter during the interim, which is something she says she can not and will not do, as the first years are so formative.

Her particular living situation is such that she has the ability to keep the pregnancy a secret for the last months as her parents do not live in shanghai where she goes to school, but she wants some control of who and where the baby goes and feels the agencies will only serve "the highest bidder" . Now I know this is probably not true, but I dont know how to advise her because she seems to think she can "select adoptive parents" similar to a private adoption in the US.

Is this even possible from China? She is extremely stable and seems to know what she wants from life and with the future of her unborn child, but I simply don't want to get her hopes up about a private adoption and there is not a lot of information here available to me.

I suppose I should be glad that she hasn;t selected China's most popular answer to this issue which is abortion, but she is adamant that her child could have a better life in the US or UK with parents who have the advantages of those countries.

I don't know how to even advise her and am hoping those of your familiar with the various adoption scenarios can advise/recommend how to proceed?

Thanks in Advance,
Hilda,
Shanghai

[Suziebearhugs]

Honestly, I have no idea about China adoptions, but if you are attending the dr's appointment with her maybe you or she could ask the dr what options might be available to her or have her speak to a lawyer or someone knowledgable in that area.

[KarenInCa]

She might want to tell her parents, and have relatives raise the child before she finishes school.
I am not familiar with adoptions in China, for Chinese. But I can tell you that the only way Americans can adopt overseas from China is if the child is considered an orphan. The only ways for a child to be an orphan are for the parents to be deceased or not found.
Therefore, children tend to be abandoned (secretly, because abandoning children is illegal) and found by a neighbor or police, who, in turn, take the child to an orphanage. They must be without parents for at least 6 months to be eligible for International Adoption outside of China. However, the fate of the child is unknown. It's possible the child can stay in the orphanage for it's entire childhood. Just because a child is in an orphanage does not mean they will ever be adopted.
I would urge her to tell her parents or a trusted relative who might help her raise the child.

[Suziebearhugs]

Another option might be for her to tell her parents and then come to America/UK to have the baby and then place the baby for adoption in the home she chooses before returning to China. Not sure if that would work but if she is very determined to place the child and to pick the parents it (or something like it) may work?

The possible adoptive parents might even agree to pay for her travel and living expenses while here and her ticket back home. Or they may even house her in their own home? Again not sure if that is possible or legal but it may be an option.

[DianeS]

Originally Posted by Suziebearhugs

Another option might be for her to tell her parents and then come to America/UK to have the baby and then place the baby for adoption in the home she chooses before returning to China. Not sure if that would work but if she is very determined to place the child and to pick the parents it (or something like it) may work?

The possible adoptive parents might even agree to pay for her travel and living expenses while here and her ticket back home. Or they may even house her in their own home? Again not sure if that is possible or legal but it may be an option.

This is not legal. It is illegal to go to a country for the purpose of giving birth and placing the child for adoption there. International adoption laws can not be circumvented in this way.