[ChelleBrewer]

After doing a boatload of research, I am fairly certain that the best fit for our family is a child from China. Korea is also an option, but for the two agencies we are contemplating, Korea doesn't haven't an agreement for North Carolina, so that doesn't look like it will work.

My husband and I have a daughter with a very rare heart defect and that has caused us to look at life a little differently. We have access to some of the best hospitals in the nation and we really would like to adopt a special needs child.

I was wondering if you all would share some of your experiences with me. I've been digging back through the threads in quite a few of the sections, and have really enjoyed learning about your journeys.

Has anyone adopted a child with a severe special needs that would be willing to talk to me. I am interested in how you 'knew' that child was right for your circumstances and how you sifted through medical terminology to get to know the child. The balance, I guess.

I appreciate any feedback in advance. I just want to familiarize myself with as much as I can.

Also, if anyone has had experience with Holt, could you pm me your reactions? I'd really appreciate it.

[mkinzie]

I personally didn't adopt a child with special needs but our friends did. They were logged in for 2 years and got tired of waiting. Their little girl is home now she is just beautiful! She's doing very well!

Her mother is a nurse so they had an idea of what they would be facing. Do you know someone in the medical field who could help guide you? From what I understand, which is little, mind you, the agency gives you a list of "needs" that you would be able to financially and emotionally handle and then you choose from there. After seeing how quickly our friends adopted their second daughter, we've talked about looking into adopting again in China. Our first daughter came home in 4/07 so I don't want to wait for years for another child. Going the regular route probably won't work for us the second time around. Good luck!

[ChelleBrewer]

The guiding part is more for personal experiences rather than the medical side of things. It's been an interesting journey for our family because in 2005, shortly after the birth of our daughter, Hurricanes Rita and Katrina hit the Gulf Coast region. I have been coordinating medical evacuations of pediatrics with life threatening diagnoses who need specialized treatment since then. It has expanded worldwide to include kids from Iraq, Afghanistan, Colombia, Costa Rica, the Bahamas, Romania and a host of other places and you wouldn't believe the diagnoses that I've encountered along the way. That's part of the reason why we want to adopt a child with special needs. Lorelei (our daughter) is normal to us and so are her other brothers and sisters with advanced diseases. My son, Cavan, is excited at the prospect of having another brother or sister and so are we. Lorelei, like I'm pretty sure all little girls, is adament about a little sister, but I know she'll love either gender.

It's the process. The choosing, the waiting, the consideration of how accurate China's list of medical diagnoses typically are...that sort of thing. If anyone has experience in this field, I would very much appreciate your input.

[momraine]

I adopted two kids with limb differences. Both of mine are from Eastern Europe and the diagnosis are not as accurate from there (especially ten years ago when I got dd) So I chose a special need that I could see so I could know what I was getting into. After DD, I learned more and was able to then consider a child with more advanced limb differences. I would adopt another one in a heartbeat if I could talk dh into it.

[ChelleBrewer]

So, were the descriptions on the extreme side or did they down play or just not accurate at all?

When I work with the kids that come over on medical visas, the stateside docs get echos, MRIs, sonograms, labs...whatever they need, sent to them to determine the initial diagnosis before relying on the country specifications, so this is new territory for me.

[cecalo]

We are in the process of adopting a child with limb differences from Russia. I spent a lot of time looking a special needs photolistings. These help me to learn about different disabilities. The more I learned the more I felt some medical issues would be a good fit for our familly, while others left me feeling overwhelmed just thinking about them.

As for knowing if the child was right for us, once we read the information about her, I was overwhelmed with longing for this child-- even though Russia isn't a great fit for our family-- too much travel, too expensive, crazy paperwork, difficult region. We prayed, trusted, then stepped into the breach.

The process has been bumpy, but for all the frustration, I still feel confident and peaceful in the decision our family has made.

Good luck!

[specialk4b]

We adopted a boy with cl/cp from China. His medical reports were accurate, though not thorough.

For China, I have heard about all ends of the spectrum with medical reports. Sometimes they are extremely accurate, detailed and provide additional, updated information. Sometimes they are sketchy, inaccurate or outdated. I think there is a level of trust or faith required.

[jessibird]

We are about to bring home our son with a vision imparement (glaucoma) in Aug. We knew he was ours right away-can't describe it, but he was! We had total peace. His records are a little sketchy-so even after having an optimalogist view his file we are unsure at the extent of his vision, however, some things in his file indicate he can see (just not sure how much). My agency has individual lists and uses the shared list and they are constant saying that there is a great need for families for boys w/minor, moderate, and severe sp needs.
Good luck on your journey!

[ChelleBrewer]

Alright. We're taking a leap of faith. I sent in the request for information on a child we've been honing in on for a while now... Let's see what happens.