[KarenInCa]

I was reading RQ's post this morning, and, although there are some good suggestions on there, nothing she said really related to our family with our first daughter.
For us, the things we learned for transitioning and bonding directly after receiving her were these things:

At the moment we received her, I had a three items in my bag which were all we needed upon greeting her.
-A soft and very small rattle with a face and covered with a small blanket. This kept her attention while in my arms. And had a soft texture to rub on her cheeks.
-A bottle of cold apple juice. I wasn't sure if she would still be on a bottle of formula, and apple juice is very sweet. She took to it quickly, and in fact, DH gave it to her which (IMO) aided in their bonding together.
-the video camera.. SOOOO glad we had that with us upon meeting her. We took turns video taping the event and another daddy video taped DH when I was off signing some papers. The moments are priceless.

Of course, we also had diapers, etc. Just in case. But those three items listed above were the essentials for us.

In the room:
-We were slow-her pace. Held her hands while she walked (even tough she could walk on her own),
-gave her time to look at herself in the body length mirror.
-ran the bath water BEFORE she came into the bathroom, then when she was there, tossed a very small blow up ball into the bathtub. I think that ball enticed her to come into the bathtub. Once she grabbed on to that ball, she held it as a transitional object for a few hours. Then she switched off to the baby hairbrush being a transitional object. You can see it in our Gotcha Video, she's walking around with the hairbrush in the hallway. It was probably easier to hold than the ball.
-Gave her a variety of items to sit with her on the bed; baby hair brush, blow up ball, bowl of cheerios, stacking cups. Then let her explore them at her own pace.
-Kept the old t-shirt that she wore from the orphanage in the crib for the first night so she still had the scents of the SWI with her.

Food-
We fed her whatever she wanted. Our friends kept feeding their child congee-morning noon and night (along with whatever else she wanted), and had NO bowel issues. Our daughter had bowel issues the first couple of days. If they eat solid foods, GIVE the child congee....it can be served at every meal and they are used to it.

Clothes-
Said it before; 3 layers. They are used to at least 3 layers, so the child feels more comfortable transitioning with 3 layers of clothes. And it also shows respect for the people you see on the street who seem to think that babies dressed in 3 layers are well cared for. It also gets humid in lots of areas of China, so a t-shirt under the clothes as the first layer absorbs the sweat.

Movement-
Take slow movements around your child. Use the stroller as much as possible. We had noticed, those who used the baby bjorn all the time ended up with babies that insisted on being held ALL THE TIME by the one parent that always used the baby bjorn. They also tended to bond with only one of the parents the entire time they were in China, which made it difficult for both parents.

Each child is different, so what we did may not work so easily for your child. But for us, doing these things made a 360 degree turn around from heavy, heavy mourning, to a bubbly and bright child within days.

[copper653]

Good advice, though I differ on the bjorn.

We brought an ergo and she wouldn't sit in it for the first couple of days and wouldn't sit in a stroller at all until we left. She bonded to my husband without the ergo and with me slowly but it added to our bonding when we got home. Stroller was used at home for walks to get her to sleep and get used to the change of time. She did walk around the hotel alot, but I wanted her close when we were out and about.

Lian still likes the ergo and so do I. It was great this weekend when we were away and there was so much excitement and action going on. I put her in it, she ate some and then wasn't as fussy and whiny as she had been before.

[KarenInCa]

I think it's very important to foster closeness, and a bjorn can definitely do that. But, in our group, the one parent that continually held the baby in the bjorn was constantly being summoned by the baby at all times. It made life more exhausting for the parent, I think. And the other parent could not help out by then.
I think the bjorn is great while in China, if you take turns. But it can be very difficult if the child is bonded with the one that uses the bjorn the most.
In our case, our daughter loved the stroller when we were out, and enjoyed being held, or walking at other times, but she was also 17 months old, so that might have a bearing on the situation as well. The bjorn never got worn.
Our daughter also bonded first with DH. He started playing clapping games with her, and used my hands in the games to help with the bonding on my end.

[momtolee1993]

When we picked up our daughter at just under 16 months she completely bonded to me and needed to be held or touching me 24/7..I could not be a foot away or she would panic...I did not have a baby carrier and I should have picked one up as it would have been useful EVERYWHERE!...I ended up having to stand for much of an 11 hour flight and was a wreck when we finally landed and had to stand again in security line for another 1 1/2 hours. Even once we were home it took a month for our daughter to feel comfortable with Dad for any length of time...I should have used a carrier at home as well...she really needed the closeness.
We also kept her on the formula she was on in the orphanage and bought baby cereal we could add hot water too in the hotel room...we were told by the countries adoption worker to add papaya to the cereal to keep her regular and it worked wonderfully. Our daughter would throw up easily the first month when over stimulated so we kept her on the bland diet for a month...we also left out toddler snacks for her to have access at all times...as the months went she stopped needing the food out all the time. Our daughter grieved intensely the first few weeks and we kept her in our bed.
We brought bubbles which she liked...we also brought some little people and animals..she really enjoyed playing with these, when we went out to eat she sat in the chair with me, the highchair was too far away from me and she would get frightened...she enjoyed this time and would try little bites of food.
I wished I would have brought good skin lotion as my babies skin cracked after the dry plane ride...I would have lotioned her up before getting on the plane. We stayed pretty quiet and slow the first couple months.

Laurie mom to dd 2 1/2 Philippines,
ds almost 16 years domestic

[KarenInCa]

I recall our DD would shove food in her cheeks. We assumed it was to save for later. The first time I noticed that, we were still in her hometown in China. She was in the highchair and I was feeding her pieces of chicken, then talking with DH, and turned to feed her more, and noticed her cheeks were HUGE! When I investigated, almost every piece I had fed her was in her cheeks. I felt so bad! She could have choked.
She continued to shove food in her cheeks for the first 6 months home. DH used to say, "lemme see!" and she would open her mouth to see that it was all gone, before we would let her have another bite. And sometimes she was still able to sneak away with food in her cheek. We wouldn't notice till about 30 minutes to an hour later, when she would be playing in front of us and start to chew on something. Crazy kid! Smart concept....bad idea.