[-chinadoll11-]

Hi everyone,

I am brand new to this. To introduce myself, I'm a mum to two beautiful boys, aged 18 months and 3.5. I'm a SAHM and DH is in the Navy.

I love my boys to bits, but I have also always wanted a daughter, and for the last six months DH and I have started talking more and more seriously about adopting a little girl from China, if we're allowed to.

So I guess I have a bunch of questions for people who know far more about this stuff than I do:

- If we have two children of our own (by that I mean they were born to us, I'm not sure what the term for this is within adoption circles) are we still allowed to adopt from China, and would it put us at a disadvantage?

- Are there enough little girls for adoption that if we were lucky enough to get one, we wouldn't be taking her from a couple who don't already have children? I don't want to be 'greedy', if that makes sense, although I do desperately want my little girl.

- DH's job means we move around every few years. It's a very stable job, he's been in the Navy for 11 years now and financially we're reasonably secure, but I'm not sure if the moving around is going to count against us.

I read that only people between the ages of 30 and 50 can adopt from China, so that counts me out for a couple of years yet. I'm just trying to find out as much info as I can so that I know whether or not this is the right path for us to take.

I would so appreciate any responses, and I really hope I haven't said anything offensive or insensitive - as I said, I'm brand new to this.

Many thanks in advance for your help!

Michaela

[Lissa]

- If we have two children of our own (by that I mean they were born to us, I'm not sure what the term for this is within adoption circles) are we still allowed to adopt from China, and would it put us at a disadvantage? Yes. And the term is biological children. They are all your own. :-)

- Are there enough little girls for adoption that if we were lucky enough to get one, we wouldn't be taking her from a couple who don't already have children? I don't want to be 'greedy', if that makes sense, although I do desperately want my little girl. If there is a girl eligable for adoption in China she has been abandoned and therefore needs a home. As for availability...well that is a subject of much debate around here. There are several who believe China is still brimming with children. Others believe the numbers are diminishing. (I'm on the diminishing side of the debate.) Either way, any child you would adopt, China would deem most suited to go to your home.

- DH's job means we move around every few years. It's a very stable job, he's been in the Navy for 11 years now and financially we're reasonably secure, but I'm not sure if the moving around is going to count against us.
Nope, but it may mean (since the wait is so long) You may have additiona paperwork and additional expense. Others who are in the military or who have spouses in the military can talk to you more about this.

I read that only people between the ages of 30 and 50 can adopt from China, so that counts me out for a couple of years yet. I'm just trying to find out as much info as I can so that I know whether or not this is the right path for us to take. (I assume you mean you are 28ish?) Keep an eye on the situation is all I can say. Again many believe that the wait times willl decrease when the olympics are over. Some think the wait times are going to increase. Just keep visiting places like here etc. to find out what's going on with the China adoption scene.

[specialk4b]

Welcome to the forums!

Having a biological family won't hurt you at all in terms of qualification. You may adopt from China if you have four or fewer children at home. Referrals are made based on the date your dossier is logged in by the CCAA in China. That's why you'll see so many references to LIDs (log in dates). Families without children aren't placed ahead of or behind families with children.

Being in the military won't count against you either. My dh is in the Army and we just completed an adoption from China in March.

[Lissa]

I just realized I said yes to disadvantage...that was apparently me totally reading your question wrong. There is no disadvantage if you have bio kids. I am VERY sorry.
Lis

[-chinadoll11-]

Thanks so much for your replies. It's very encouraging to think that we might be eligible! I will certainly keep an eye on places like this to stay abreast of the situation over there. Fingers crossed the wait times get shorter for us all!

[tsang1983]

hmm this question is of importance to me as i was adopted in 1988 from hongkong and bought to New Zealand. As i was the only Asian growing up it proved difficult and etc
my adoptive parents were of no help as they were european and did not understand the asian culture. all through my early childhood and onto my college years i was often mocked and felt so out of place. to this day i am still struggling with my existence. my adoptive parents were mentally and physically abusive. i ran away from home many times and ended up in prison at the age of 18. joining with the triads at the age of 20. now i am trying to turn my life around which is difficult. i have issues that holds me back from doing anything and with my past criminal records its hard to acheive anything satisfactory. there is one thing that will always stick on my mind. a few days before i got adopted my birthmother came to visit me as she hadnt filled out all the proper forms she could only see me for a minute. at that time all i saw was her as any other person who often visited the orphanage. there are so many what ifs. if i had recognise her would she of taken me away and not let me up for adoption. it still haunts me to this day and will so for the rest of my life. so in saying all this when u adopt a child from overseas think of the consequences it will have on the child

[-chinadoll11-]

What a heartbreaking story, tsang1983 :-( I think it's wonderful that you are working to turn your life around though, and I wish you all the best.

Yes, the impact of bringing a Asian child into our European family is definitely a major consideration. I could never adopt a child, any child, if I didn't truly think I could make that child's life better, so we would have to think long and hard before we did it.

Compared to when you were growing up, the Asian population of NZ has exploded, so if we were to go down this path then hopefully we would be able to find a thriving Chinese community here that we and the child could be part of. We are in Auckland, it's probably different in other parts of the country.

[pgruodis]

Originally Posted by tsang1983

hmm this question is of importance to me as i was adopted in 1988 from hongkong and bought to New Zealand. As i was the only Asian growing up it proved difficult and etc
my adoptive parents were of no help as they were european and did not understand the asian culture. all through my early childhood and onto my college years i was often mocked and felt so out of place. to this day i am still struggling with my existence. my adoptive parents were mentally and physically abusive. i ran away from home many times and ended up in prison at the age of 18. joining with the triads at the age of 20. now i am trying to turn my life around which is difficult. i have issues that holds me back from doing anything and with my past criminal records its hard to acheive anything satisfactory. there is one thing that will always stick on my mind. a few days before i got adopted my birthmother came to visit me as she hadnt filled out all the proper forms she could only see me for a minute. at that time all i saw was her as any other person who often visited the orphanage. there are so many what ifs. if i had recognise her would she of taken me away and not let me up for adoption. it still haunts me to this day and will so for the rest of my life. so in saying all this when u adopt a child from overseas think of the consequences it will have on the child

You have made nearly the exact post several times on this forum over the last year. Many people responded with caring comments, and asked for more information. You have never responded.
http://forums.adoption.com/search.php?searchid=1715802
This leads me to conclude that either you wish only to vent and not participate in these discussions, or your posts are some kind of sick hoax.
I will not respond to the content of your post because you did not respond to me in the past.
I am outing you because games like this are hurtful and do not help this community. I would hate to think that some child does not join a loving family because your post scared someone from international adoption.

[Lissa]

I agree with Paul. Your description of Asians (edited) offends me and thus I question the validity of your claims. If you truely have suffered by the hands of your parents, I am sorry. But those are the actions of individuals, not a consequence of adoption in itself. I know many adopted Asian children who are being raised in largely caucasian communties who have great self esteem--my daughter being one.

Please do not throw around racist terms on this forum.