[ddahl]

Just reaching out to say hello. We have just received our packet for China and are plowing thrugh the requirements. We adopted our son from Russia and became a forever family in 2005.

We are just getting started and hope to start the papershase in September once our little darling has started back to school.

I am sure everyone feels a but nervous at the begining with so many unknowns. One of the things I have been thinking about was the length of time it takes to have your baby in your arms. It seems like you wait without information for quite a long while. I think it will be easier since we have our son home but still... whatever do you do to pass the time? I have not seen any information about being able to request "As young as Possible" so can you even shop? What do you all advise is a reasonable age to expect of a referral? With our son, he was 18 months old wearing a 9-12 month size. The China infants seem much healthier. Any thoughts?

Thanks a million!
Dixie

[Trace7]

Originally Posted by ddahl

I am sure everyone feels a but nervous at the begining with so many unknowns. One of the things I have been thinking about was the length of time it takes to have your baby in your arms. It seems like you wait without information for quite a long while. I think it will be easier since we have our son home but still... whatever do you do to pass the time?

I have not seen any information about being able to request "As young as Possible" so can you even shop?

What do you all advise is a reasonable age to expect of a referral? With our son, he was 18 months old wearing a 9-12 month size. The China infants seem much healthier. Any thoughts?

Thanks a million!
Dixie

Hi Dixie Congrats on your son! Our friends are just about done with their paperwork for Russia and their agency thinks they will get a quick referral and travel for their first trip in November. I am excited for them, as their child will not be too much younger than our sweet girl from China, who is 22 months now.

Yes, your son will likely be the best "time-passer" for you during the long wait for China. We did not have any children while we waited, and when our dossier was logged in over in China (November 2005), the wait was only 8 months. So of course we thought it would be a fairly quick time to referral. Well, 21.5 long months later, we finally got our referral. I was able to take a couple trips during the wait (my DH, unfortunately, could not go with me due to his job), so that helped me during the wait - especially since one of my trips was to Hong Kong to visit my brother and his family, which was awesome. My DH and I went to LOTS of movies (like I said, we didn't have any kids), spent time with family and friends and just kept as busy as possible. We also got the baby's room done way early - which for us was fine but for others, that is sometimes too painful and they like to wait and do it closer to referral. We also searched out other China adoptive families in our area, and have since created quite a network of friends who are currently in the process or who already have their kids home - and we get together with them every 3-4 weeks, which is awesome - and I have to say that helped me during the wait more than anything, and we have made lifelong friends (and friends for our daughter, too!)

As far as "young as possible", China considers a child to be in this category that is anywhere between 6 months and 2 years (and sometimes over 2 years). Generally, kids are right around 12 months old give or take a month or two at referral. Some people think if you are a younger couple, you will get a younger baby - but I think it has a lot more to do with what babies are available that month that the matchers are matching, and they try very heard to match you based on "looks". It may seem odd, but every single baby in our group looked like at least one of the parents (and our daughter looks a lot like my DH - we hear that ALL the time. I think she looks a little bit like me, too). And my DH and I were 30 (him) and 34 (me) when our dossier was logged in, and our baby was 11.5 months old at referral. I have good friends who were about the same age as us, and their baby was 19 months old at referral. I would not get too hung up on the age thing, though - as just about anyone will tell you - no matter what age their child was when they met them - it is the perfect child for them. That is definitely the case with us.

As far as size, it depends on so many things - if a child is a smaller stature, if he/she is in foster care, an orphanage, a Half The Sky sponsored orphanage, etc. Our daughter was in an orphanage sponsored by Half the Sky - where she had one-on-one care and was eating solids when we met her at 13 months old - and she could walk. She is also very tall and thin - and she was wearing about 12 months sizes when we got her - but she was a little thinner then - so some pants would fall of her. All the kids in our group (except one) were about the same age, but some were bigger than others - so some wore 12-18 months sizes, while some wore 6-9 months sizes.

[jessibird]

Just saying HI and welcome. We are at the tail end of our chase - as soon as we get a fingerprinting appt we can put the final touches on our dossier. Have fun on the chase!!

[Lissa]

Welcome and congratulations. We just celebrated year 3 with our girl, Lydia Honghua. The wait may not be fun, but the end result is worth it!

[KarenInCa]

Trace gave some great information. I too believe that each matcher has a given group of children to match, and try to match according to looks, Chinese year signs, astrological signs, and family behavior. Our daughter looks a lot like I used to look (but I think much prettier)-and same body structure. She was also born in the year of the Monkey and is a Scorpio, both the same as my DH. So, she has many physical similarities to myself and personality similarities to my DH. I really think they try to match to age requested, but that is last on their list.

Our agency always sends it's clients thru Shanghai or Hong Kong, and I've been told that is because PAPs waiting from our agency are mainly matched with children from orphanages in South East China, closer to Hong Kong and Shanghai than Beijing (which is North East). That leads me to believe that our agency has a monthly relationship with a couple of certain matchers in CCAA, in charge of South Eastern parts of China, or that the certain matchers pull files of children from South Eastern parts of China specifically for our agency. Our daughter is from Anhui Province, which is the in that quadrant of China.
So, out of the group of children available, the matchers for our agency choose according to the preference list above, and if there are only 50 children available in that region for that particular month, that is the group the matcher has to work with. I certainly hope that is the case because we have requested another daughter from the same Province so that our daughters will look similar and share a similar heritage background from the same region of China.

I also think the wait is easier if you already have a child to keep you occupied (especially a 3 yr old). But it's also easier going into it knowing that the wait is 2-3 years. There's nothing worse than what Trace described, thinking it will be X months and it bypasses to XX months, regardless of how many rug rats you already have to chase around.

[amyfk]

Wishing you best of luck over here and on your China journey Dixie! I lurk on several boards besides the Russia one.
Amy K, NJ