[KarenInCa]

Copper- We use those kinds of cards, just for fun. We started by verbally labeling the colors of the items, and other minor things for fun..naming the shape of the item, or what it is used for. We have since moved on to "testing" each other by holding the card up and saying the name of the item....such as a dog, and then saying, "What does Dog begin with? ddddd-og" She loves being the 'teacher'. And when I sound it out and get it right , she gives me the card, and says I won the card...then the roles are reversed, and I do the same with her. She loves playing both teacher and student, and she learns by doing each one.

[Eve W]

This is a very interesting topic. I am Polish and DH is Canadian. I always assumed that when we will have a child I will speak to him/her in Polish so he/she can learn my language. I would love for our future daughter to learn some Polish, because it is important to me, because we will be visiting Poland and because it will be easier to learn second language when she is young. When should I start introducing Polish? I think that my daughter has a bigger chance to speak/understand some Polish than Chinese because she can learn it from me.

If your children were Chinese but they would look like you would you like them to learn Chinese language? Is it that your children look different “forces” you to expose them to this language? As one of you said, some people expect Chinese child to speak Chinese. They do not expect Chinese child to speak for example Polish. J

I am adopting from China for very practical reasons. I am not drawn to the country and its culture. I chose China because we would like to have preferably healthy child, we would like one younger child to start with and would like to have a girl. Also, the process seems straightforward and even though it is expensive for us, it is not as expensive as other adoptions. I sometimes feel guilty that I am not interested in Chinese culture and do not know how much of exposing to it I can handle. I know that my daughter needs some of it but I just do not know how much it will be. I really want to expose her to Polish culture because it comes to me naturally. My husband laughs about my dilemmas and tells me that I spend too much time on my forums.

Eve

[copper653]

Originally Posted by KarenInCa

Copper- We use those kinds of cards, just for fun. We started by verbally labeling the colors of the items, and other minor things for fun..naming the shape of the item, or what it is used for. We have since moved on to "testing" each other by holding the card up and saying the name of the item....such as a dog, and then saying, "What does Dog begin with? ddddd-og" She loves being the 'teacher'. And when I sound it out and get it right , she gives me the card, and says I won the card...then the roles are reversed, and I do the same with her. She loves playing both teacher and student, and she learns by doing each one.

So these are just cards you can get at Toys r us or something? I've seen some, but I thought they were for older children, 1st grade, 2nd grade therefore too advanced for my daughter.

[KarenInCa]

The cards might be for older children, we got ours from my neice. But cards that are that simple can be modified in use. She has two sets of cards...one is colored blotches, with the name of the color on the front and back of the card. Another set is objects. You could probably even do it with a normal deck of cards, naming the color or letter or number, or an older childs deck of cards for old maid, etc.
My daughter loves the interaction, and feeling like she's playing a card game with the simplicity of what we do.

[pgruodis]

My initial comment about cards was meant to say there is an over-reliance on them. It is always better to make language activities as functional as possible.
That being said, I prefer making my own cards. This way I can use objects the child comes into contact on a daily basis. I suppose you could take a photograph, but the act of making the cards is a language activity itself. You could purchase a deck of cards with a picture of a dog ... but think about what you can do while making the card. You could point out the nose/tail/ears/eyes/mouth as she (or you) draw them....you can have her pick out the colors...you can discuss if the tail should be "long" or "short" ...you get the idea. If the child isn't verbal...it's ok to narrate what you are doing "I'm drawing the dog's long nose"...because you are still building receptive language skills. A good idea is to pick words in groups/categories like "foods" "animals" "people".... or by room/location "kitchen" "bedroom" "basement" "grandma's house" "school". Labels are good, but you want to use the words with the child. Rather than simply showing a picture of a dog, and the child saying "dog" it would be nice for you to work on Receptive Language not just "where is the dog" ...say "find me a picture of an animal" ...then "where is his nose?" ..."where is your nose?" ... "where is his tail?" .. Exprssive Language ."do you have a tail?" (yes/no questions)..."what is this?" ...."where does the dog sleep?"
By making your own cards, then the words/concepts the child learns can be used and reinforced away from the cards.

[copper653]

Ok, I think I understand. We have a couple of the look and find books and we used them alot when she was first really beginning to talk. She loved them and we did alot of those things pgruodis explained. Thanks.

I guess you just use thicker paper and make them whatever size you want? Sounds like a neat project for a rainy day. Thanks!

[pgruodis]

Originally Posted by copper653

I guess you just use thicker paper and make them whatever size you want? Sounds like a neat project for a rainy day. Thanks!

I like to use large index cards.
Not just for rainy days... add just a couple cards each day as you go

[Lissa]

For those of you who want to make your own cards (I use them to teach Lydia Chinese.) There is a program you can get for your computer to do online cards (if your child likes and is familiar with computers. Lydia loves the computer.) Plus you can print them up. I'll find out from him asap what the name of the program is. It's just nice to have as the cards look nicer and (if your is handwriting is like mine) more legible.

[KarenInCa]

Originally Posted by Eve W

I chose China because we would like to have preferably healthy child, we would like one younger child to start with and would like to have a girl. Also, the process seems straightforward and even though it is expensive for us, it is not as expensive as other adoptions.

Be careful with these expectations. I've seen some people that are referred children that are very tiny (even by Chinese girls medical charts standards), malnurished, and/or with physical/emotional/language delays. I've also seen some that expect a baby because they requested AYAP to 12 months and got referred 18-19 mo.
Definitely request the age group etc, that you want, but be prepared for something possibly different. We requested an older toddler, and received a referral for 16 mo old, but everyone in our group had received children 14-17 months old.
In the same light, realize that your child, as she gets older, might want to know as much as possible about her heritage, even if you are not too interested. DH is very much interested in Chinese culture and always has been. I became interested when we adopted our daughter, mostly for my daughter's sake.

[Joliey]

Originally Posted by pgruodis

Good Greif!
Again, that is not what I said.

I cautioned parents that in their zeal to expose their child to Chinese culture through the Language to be aware that children adopted internationally often express receptive & expressive language delays. This is something parents should consider before taking on a 2nd language.
What I did say is *if* your child already has a language processing delay, then introducing a 2nd language *may*negatively impact the acquisition of their primary language of English.
I assure you, I am anything but "not well informed" on this matter.
As mentioned earlier, I provide therapy for children with exactly these kinds of problems. Professionally speaking, I would prefer not to have inaccurate comments attributed to me which I have not said. If you wish to continue this discussion, or wish further clarification, I'd prefer to do so via PM.
~Paul

Oh Paul, please stop quoting your credentials. I know exactly what you said. If you need to discuss it PM go ahead, email me.

Yoli

[SofiasMom]

I haven't read all the posts but just wanted to add my experience. My daughter is now 9 years old. We started Mandarin play and learn classes when she was 3. I also took a Mandarin class at the same time. Although I gave up after a year and only know a handful of phrases and can read about 20 characters, I did learn a lot about the culture from my Mandarin teacher. She would explain why a word or phrase was used, how a word came to mean what it does, etc. Learning the history of any language, helps you understand the culture. I was prepared to stop taking my daughter to class when she grew tired of it but she loves it! Of course with only 2 hours a week of Mandarin, she won't be fluent. But she has the basics and the tones down. If she decides to take the languge up seriously in college or be an exchange student in China, I think she'll have an easier time of it.

Along this path, I made some arbitrary decisions such as Mandarin instead of Cantonese even though she's from Guangdong Province because Mandarin is the official language. I also felt that there were lots of opportunities to learn Mandarin where I live, so why not take advantage. Along the way we've met wonderful Chinese-American families (some of them regretting not learning their parents' language which was the reason they were sending their kids to Saturday Chinese school). I understand that language is just a part of the culture (a large part I think) and I might be a little neglegient in incorporating other parts but this is what I feel comfortable with.

Language is one area my daughter excels in and I'm so glad I exposed her to it when she was young. Of course what's good for her, won't necessarily be good for other kids.

[mdaisyq]

While most of the responses to this message have focussed on the issue of learning the verbal language, they also teach written language at many of the language schools. We chose not have our Korean adopted son attend a Korean school, and got a lot of gaffe from other Korean adoptive parents, because of the writing part. He had huge difficulties with handwriting and we did not want to add extra pressure of having to learn precise Korean writing (Hangul.)

Also, in regards to sign language, many pre-adoptive families talk about learning it for their new child. We adopted a non-verbal 34 month old and he has steadfastly refused to learn American Sign Language and instead relied(s) on sign language he makes up and may have been used with the other non-verbal children at his orphanage. I had heard about "orphanage sign" but had never seen it before. His signs are actually pretty cool and very inventive.

[Lissa]

Lydia will be four in October and she still uses (with words now) her own sign language. We set out to teach her sign and she ultimately taught us. :-)

[jasonsmom]

Originally Posted by Eve W

Is it that your children look different “forces” you to expose them to this language? As one of you said, some people expect Chinese child to speak Chinese. They do not expect Chinese child to speak for example Polish. [/font]J[/size]

I am adopting from China for very practical reasons. I am not drawn to the country and its culture. I chose China because we would like to have preferably healthy child, we would like one younger child to start with and would like to have a girl. Also, the process seems straightforward and even though it is expensive for us, it is not as expensive as other adoptions. I sometimes feel guilty that I am not interested in Chinese culture and do not know how much of exposing to it I can handle. I know that my daughter needs some of it but I just do not know how much it will be. I really want to expose her to Polish culture because it comes to me naturally. My husband laughs about my dilemmas and tells me that I spend too much time on my forums.

Eve

I don't think that Jess looking differently than me "forces" me to expose her to Chinese. Were I have to adopted a child internationally who was caucasian, I would look for events and ways to expose her to that culture and the language. Before we started our adoption process, we hadn't been particularly drawn to China. It'd never been on my list of places to travel to. I've since learned what a beautiful country it is and plan on going back to visit. It's just my personal feeling but I think we have an obligation to expose our daughter to her birth culture and that would be true no matter where she was from. We've joined FCC and go to local events as well as those our agency has for the kids. We also expose her to other cultures of our family as well of course. In a couple of weeks, we'll be heading to the Cape for a Greek festival.

[kff]

Our daughter Skyla is now four, her speech is delayed. We had her evaluated by our school district and is currently receiving services. I just had a conversation today with my Chinese friend who offered to take Skyla for Chinese lessons through her Church she is affiliated with. We felt the same as others have said that it would conflict with Skyla's overcoming her current speech deficiency. Skyla excels in so many other areas, so we are mildly concerned. She is making good progress. I also agree that to really learn and retain a language one parent or somebody in the house has to know the language.

When we had Skyla evaluated, we had an interpretor for all dialects and Skyla had forgotten all the Chinese she knew in four months. We felt bad, but at the same time we think it is more important to address her delays in English first. We speak only English and English is what she will need to learn in her school career.

As far as Skyla heritage is concerned we are not as passionate as many parents are. At this young age it is my gut feeling that Skyla just wants to be loved and happy and she wants to be part of the family.

As Skyla grows up of course we will explain her heritage and her great country but only if she wants to learn about it. Some day (when finances allow ) we would love to go back to China for a vacation as I find the Country very interesting.

Most of the time I really forget that Skyla is Chinese and adopted- she has bonded very strongly with everyone. ( well maybe not as strong yet with our 8 year old daughter who was used to being the Queenie of the house, who now has to share the thrown!)

In fact a couple of months ago a stranger walked up to my wife to ask a general question about adoption. For a second my wife thought to herself " how did this women know that Skyla was adopted?" then remembering that Skyla's Asian features don't match her Italian/Polish face! -Frank