[copper653]

Our dd sleeps with a pacificer, and she turned two in April. From what I have read children shouldn't have a pacificer past then. I am nervous though about taking it away or having her throw it away. She sleeps through the night with only an occasional call for assistant to look for it. I was going to go to the library to get a couple of books to help us, but was wondering if anyone had any experience.

We will be going to Hershey next week and thought perhaps we could say we left it behind, but wasn't sure if that might be too stressful for her. We are also going to the beach in July so I don't know if that gives her enough time to adjust sleeping without it and then be expected to sleep in different surroundings.

Lian sleeps so well that I am nervous about doing this so I guess this is more asking for support and confirming that I am doing this the right way and time.

Thanks

[Couchkat]

I'm very surprised your daughter has a paci. I've never heard of any other China adopted babies having one. They typically don't give them to Children anymore. My first dd, who is a bio kid, was very attached to her paci. I took it away during the day for about a week, and then at night when she turned one. THe longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. I would take it immediately away. Someone I know successfully put vinegar on the binkie and the little girl never asked for it again.

[jessibird]

We took our daughters away at 3-we traded it to the "Nunu fairy" for a toy! We chose 3 as our son was on the way and I didn't want their to be competetion for his Nunu's. For my son-I tried to hold on to his " babyness' a little longer and he had it until he was 4. At 4 we started to notice he had a lisp. Then the dentist took a look and said that the paci was mis-shaping his teeth and jaw. Now after a year and a half the lisp is really improving. I would get rid of it prior to 3 at least. For my son-he did not want to trade it to the "nunu fairy", (He was VERY attatched. He would sleep with 2 of them!) For him we just cut the ends off and told him they all broke and we couldn't get anymore! It had trouble for about 4 nights and then after it just kept getting easier and easier.

Good Luck!

[copper653]

Couchkat, her paperwork said she took one and she didn't take to the paci we got for her right away, but when she did she started sleeping through the night. So I don't know if it was that she had it back or that it was helping her soothe herself and go back to sleep alone.

Jessibird, my SIL did the same thing, there's a book she bought, but it is packed away as they are moving. That's why I figured getting a couple from the library and then maybe incorporating that theme in also so that it might be alittle easier. Now I just need to think about a gift to give her when I take it away. She has two blankies she sleeps with and sometimes a baby so I don't think anything really is needed for her as a lovey. Just a cool toy that makes it worth it.

I think I'll wait until we get back from Hershey next week. This weekend and part of next week is going to be busy and tiring so want her to be well rested before making her loose anymore sleep.

Thanks for your help!

[smbcpc]

Hi Christine,

My daughter never wanted a paci when I offered it to her and she loves going to sleep with her Pooh bear stuffed animal.

How about talking to a pediatric dentist? I am sure they have heard a lot of questions of this kind. They may be able to offer a solution. It is recommended to take toddlers to their first dentist appointment by age 2 anyway. I wouldn't just take it away from her without some kind of a substitute.

Good luck!

[copper653]

Sue,

I am more scared to take her to the dentist than taking her paci away! The last time we were at the dr's as soon as he walked in the room she pointed at him quickly and started screaming! This was the worst she'd ever been and quite a surprise to us.

I think her blankies will be a good subsitute, she really likes to have them close by and will bring them into our room in the morning.

Ugh, why couldn't I have done this when dh was working daywork then he could help me out with the crying that I am expecting.

Thanks
Christine

[KarenInCa]

When we adopted our daughter, she looked at the pacifier while we were sitting on the hotel bed, and used it to toss off of her lap, like a trampoline, from her skirt. It was a toy for her.
She did, though, take to a blanket, with silky edges. She still has it, and shows no signs of modesty when it comes to shoving the silky edge into her mouth to fall asleep.
I've heard of a lot of babies that come home having an infatuation with silky edges of blankets, and I suspect that most of the children use blankets as pacifiers when they wake at night.
The first time we took a nap with her in China, she soaked my pillow case from sucking on it, that was when I realized she was used to using a blanket. I have also heard that pacifiers will shape their jaws, so you have to be careful.
We were concerned that her blanket ("mankie"-as she affectionately calls it-and "stanky manky" when it needs to be washed) would also shape her jaw and teeth, but it does not seem to shape her teeth from sucking on it at night, probably because it's a soft item. So until she's ready to let it go, she can have it.
She's 3.5 yrs old.
You might have a good idea, trading it in for silky edged blankets. My SIL had to make my daughter's mankie because we couldn't find any small fleece blankets with silky edges.
We also took our daughter to the ped dentist, but waited till she was past 3 yrs old. The dentist was very good, and does not wear a white jacket. Our daughter had a minor cavity in her upper k-9 that had to be filled, but the ped dentist was wonderful! You could ask before hand if the dentist can NOT wear a white jacket before you go. Also, our ped dentist is a woman, which might make a difference too. Most likely the doctors in the SWI were men in white coats. Our daughter does not like the white coat either.
Jess- you have a lot of good ideas.

[amyfk]

My child is 2.5 and is still with binkies. I try to cut up one a week so that eventually they will all run out. She doesnt take too well to it though. It's almost like a cigarette addiction for her.
Amy K, NJ

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

Same here. DS just turned two in April and he is still taking binky but has only used one for nap and bedtime. Once he is asleep it typically falls out and he does not search for it and when he gets up we put it away.

We, too, are wondering when and how and have heard some good ideas:

Trade them to the binky fairy as has been mentioned.

You can take the one last binky and have it stuffed into a bear at Build-A-Bear and then let her sleep with bear (like sleeping with binky).

Take the binkies to a nursery and give the gift bag of binkies to the babies (arrange ahead of time for the worker to just throw them out after you leave). Just keep telling your 2 yr old that they are "for babies" and you are going to give them to some nice babies that need them.

We are thinking about waiting until the end of summer (after our August vacation). We are just starting daycare etc and one change is enough. After binky loss, we will begin to tackle potty training.
God help us all!!

Kim

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Our son was almost 3 when WE fonally broke OUR habit of giving it to him. He was long done with it, but when he found one he would pop it in. At bed time we would make sure he had it. Then one day he just didn't want it even when we tried to give it to him.

[Trace7]

Originally Posted by Couchkat

I'm very surprised your daughter has a paci. I've never heard of any other China adopted babies having one. They typically don't give them to Children anymore.

My good friend just came home in late February with a 21-month-old who had been in foster care, and she also had a pacifier. Perhaps it is more common with kids who are in foster care?

[richard p.]

Our daughter (adopted at 13mo)loved her binky . I figured it was better than sucking her thumb. I did not worry about it until I took her for her first dental visit - I think she was around 2 or 2.5. (By the way, find a pediatric dentist and not a general practisioner). He said it was about time and gave me great advise. 1) Take it away gradually, not cold turkey. We started with binky in the bed only. 2) Tell them that you are going to give the binkys to children who do not have them. 3) Reward them for giving it up. 4) point out that big girls don't use binkys. It took a little time, but it was a smooth transition. Good luck.

[prechrswife]

Oh, boy...look what I have to look forward to. Our dd from China has never taken a paci--she never wanted one. Our younger dd, however, does. She is only 9 months old, though, and she mostly takes it when she is sleeping.

[copper653]

Lots of great ideas and suggestions! Thank you all!

We visited my SIL today and she started on Lian about not needing it anymore and that it was for big girls. (She has a dd about 6mths older than Lian and took it away in Jan with the binky fairy.) My dd looked at her like she was crazy. My SIL said "Lian is thinking, yeah, I might have a binky, but your dd still wears a diaper and she is older than me!"

xxsurroundedbyxy, dd sounds like your ds, but will wake up and then look for it. She really doesn't sleep through the night with it in her mouth. The blankets she sleeps with do have silk on one side so maybe she'll start to rub that for comfort. Just remembered though that my mom did make her a blanket that has silk edges so maybe I'll pull that out too.

Yesterday I saw that one of her two yr molars was coming in so now I am not sure if I should do it next week. She woke up at 1:30 and at 3am, and I am not sure that she slept in between.

I guess like Bugs-n-bears-Mommy said we have to break the habit of giving it to her and not feel guilty.



ETA: Lian was in foster care so, yes it might have something to do with why she took one and why others don't. But really it could be just a matter of money or personnel. Maybe they could afford for the babies to have them or gave them paci's to soothe them because their wasn't enough nannies to be with all the babies if they cried. KWIM?

[SofiasMom]

My daughter didn't use a paci but did keep her bottle until she was 3. I kept that info from the peditrician! I stopped buying replacements and when we got to the final two (we were always losing them!), I talked up what a big girl she was and that she would tell me when we could have the party to toss the final bottle away. That actually worked ! She did ask for the bottle about a week after we threw it away but I lightly said, i"t's gone honey" and quickly changed the subject.

Has anyone read "Digging to America" by Anne Tyler? Great book (she's one of my favorite authors). Anyway there's a very funny chapter on how one mom got rid of her daughter's paci (daughter also adopted from China).

Oh and my daughter also hated the dentist (she had a bad experience). We finally found a dentist who is really good with kids. He sits on the waiting room floor and introduces himself to the new kids. He asks the parents before hand the names of pets, what sports the kids like, etc which he uses in that first conversation.