[KarenInCa]

This is just a hypothetical question, with the waits as long as they are now.

If you knew that the agency you were looking into could actually bypass the wait by a few months, would you overlook the fact that they might act in an unethical manner and sign up anyway?

Would it be wrong?

[specialk4b]

A few months savings in time would not be worth how bad I would feel supporting their being unethical. I would probably feel guilty every time I looked at my child for a very long time.

[prechrswife]

Originally Posted by specialk4b

A few months savings in time would not be worth how bad I would feel supporting their being unethical. I would probably feel guilty every time I looked at my child for a very long time.

I have to agree with this.

[Lissa]

I was delayed in recieving Lydia by over a month because of unethical practices by both agencies and the US government. Just one month...but that month was torturous. I could never do that to another family. It's just not right.

[Couchkat]

No way - that's why I picked China, because it's so regulated. I want to play by the rules. Also, I would be so worried that something would happen and the process would be interrupted.

[pgruodis]

"Unethical" - No
"Unfair" - Yes (hate to admit it)

If I found an agency with a lot of clout, and could push things (legally) ahead of others in line....got to be honest, I'd do it.

[hoping44]

If I knew the agency was participating in unethical practices, I would not sign on with them, even if I would benefit. I wouldn't want the joy of bringing a child into my family clouded by questionable practices.

[KarenInCa]

Ive thought about this, and perhaps my answer might be different if I didn't already have an adult son, and our first daughter already home from China. At this time in my life, I wouldn't go with the agency on the premis that they could speed us up.
But, I also do not think that I would blame or point a finger at the person that would. Perhaps that child NEEDS to be in that family earlier. Who am I to say?
I'm a strong believer in destiny. The moment my daughter and I locked eyes, that was it. She was the daughter I had known forever, we were like souls that had finally met up again.
Now, as we wait for her sister, she keeps talking about a specific child now -her sister- who is probably not born yet. And she talks about her sister as if she were already with us.
Cadence already has a "sister pact" with an angel we call Melody, and that bond was formed long before DH and I came into the picture, just as we had a child pact with our two daughters long before time as we know it. I truly believe this, so for me, someone moving ahead of me only leaves me more space to find my own child in the crowd. :-) Sometimes I don't feel we were united as much as re-united.