[tsang1983]

in my mind inter racial adoptions should not occur because of my own personal experiences.
i was born 16/07/1983 as chung-lai tsang to my 16 yr old birth mother yuk ching tsang and was raised in a orphanage called po leung kuk in kowloon hong kong to which this day i will call my home and the occupents my real true family. at the age of 6 i was taken away from my beloved country to the land called New Zealand. i was being adopted by a european couple who i would later despise and reject any knowledge of them. i then got the name Michael Robson. growing up in NZ was a major shock and cultural difference for me. i always felt alone and out of place with no one to talk to often running away from my so called home. i often stole, lied and had trouble at school. i never knew why i did those things at the time i later found out it was natural because it was like filling a empty void inside of me. as a result of my bad behaviour i was always beaten physically and psychologically. i never wanted to go home and often went to the park stayed at school or just find somewhere to be alone. when i did go home i always just wanted to stay in my bedroom cause i was scared and felt unwanted and out of place. at the age of 14 i ran away from home and ended up on the streets for about a week it was a great adventure and learning curb for me. all through my life i always felt alone and developed a deep hatred for white people which would end up me being in prison for a short period of time. i was picked on for being a ching chong all the time till about the age 15 when i started maturing and growing. the only people that would accept me was the islanders and local street gangs who i would have a famirilarity with. we would go out and commit all kinds of crimes from stealing fighting stand overs and etc. i finally felt accepted and wanted by this group of criminals. i was asked to leave college at the age of 18 and a few months later i ended up in prison for putting a couple of white boys in hospital for being white. whilst i was in prison my hatred for the white race grew as i was picked on by a skin head known to hate asians. this led to me and him having a fight which landed him a couple of stiches and a better image of me amongst my peers. when i got out i went into a deep stage of depression in which i found enjoyment in cutting myself and the pain that it brought along with it. all through my life i guess ive fought depression and suicidal thoughts and continue to do so to this day. i managed to survive this stage and ended with a major asian crime syndicate in nz which was involved from drug importing prositution stand overs loan sharks and etc. for once in a long time i felt wanted and belonged within a select group. i went to church and met some guys which ended up me being a ghost for the police. as a result of this i have put away countless members of my criminal family and continue to do so to this day. i have in general given up hope in my life and by saying the things i have i am a dead man walking. its just a matter of time. present day im 24 and hating my double life but there is nothing i can do i have a stomach ulcer, acute depression and hepatitis b. on one side im a drug dealer on the other side im a police informant.
please email me your thoughts and your experiences

[pgruodis]

What a terribly sad story. Possibly you may change your mind after reading all the accounts of loving parents that go to great lengths to incorporate and expose their adopted children to their birth culture.
You haven't given enough details about your early home life for me to judge if your situation is typical to most adoptees, and if there are lessons we can learn from your experiences. I work in a large metropolitan public high school system which sadly has many young men who suffer the same fate as you, but are not adoptees.
You have made an effort to join this forum and share your experiences, and hope you continue this effort and share with us what could have made a helpful difference for you. I still strongly feel that adoption can be wonderful thing for both the adoptive parents and the adopted child. Of course I would like to hear constructive advice from those where that was not the case, so as not to repeat these errors.

[PiperH]

What a horrible time you have had, but I agree with pgruodis that is sounds more like a bad family life (which can occur with any family) than adoption. But this is all you have known, so how would you as a young boy and now as a young man know any different. I don't think you have given up your life by sharing your story here, and I hope it helped you by venting some of the anger. What you need to do is get away from the bad crowds and try to start over. It sounds like you are ready to do that.
Blessings to you.

[KarenInCa]

You've had a difficult time, but who's to really say what your life would have been like if you would have stayed in the orphanage? You will never know, because it didn't happen. So, it's much more comforting to think that life would have been better in a place that one can imagine the outcome of, rather than what life delt us. However, I do understand how difficult it must have been from the beginning, being taken to a different culture and possibly with adoptive parents that did not have resources we have today, and wanted to sweep all the differences under the rug. That, Im sure was very painful, and I can understand why you would fee alone. You were alone.

But as to the question you've posed, I think it's unfair to lump all interratial adoptions into the same experience as your own. A more appropriate question would be, "Should social workers use higher discression when determing if an adult is unfit to adopt? And by what standards should they use to determine this?" Or perhaps, "Should more education be given to potential adoptive parents about adoption specific situations, prior to being approved to adopt a child?" Or even, "Should anyone have the right to parent a child, even if they're unfit?" But none of these were your question. So, to answer the question you gave us, "Should interratial adoption occur?" Absolutely.

IMO, the same people that would abuse a child adopted interratially would also abuse a child adopted within the same race.
Rage toward the innocents knows no color.

[rose_red]

Originally Posted by KarenInCa

IMO, the same people that would abuse a child adopted interratially would also abuse a child adopted within the same race.

I am so sorry that you have had such a difficult life thus far.

I wholeheartedly agree with all the comments in this thread. Particularly KarenInCa's comment above. I was adopted by a family of the same race as me, and my parents were physically and emotionally abusive to both myself and my brother (who was their biological son).

I believe that there need to be more stringent checks on potential adoptive parents, but that bad parents are bad parents no matter their race or the race of their children - whether adopted or biological. Some people just aren't fit to be parents, in my opinion.

I'm sorry for what you've had to go through, but please do feel welcome to share your story and your thoughts with us here so that we can learn from your experiences.