[jessibird]

Hello! I am so happy to be here. I am a 32 yr old married mom of 2 bio children (8 and 5). My hubby and I just took the first plunge into adopting from China. We are so excited about having another child. My question, if anyone has experience, is do you see what the children's SN's are before you go through with the process. We very much first and formost want any child, however, I know my husband and a major SN would not be a good fit with him. (Boy, I don't want that to sound bad-know what I mean??)

Jess

[richard p.]

We did not adopt a special need child, but we saw many in China and know several people who have adopted. China is VERY up front with the needs of the child so there should be no surprises. China special needs are much differnt than special needs from other countries.You should register with an agency that gets the special needs list (not all do). In addition many healthy children are consided special needs simplty because of their age. We also met a few children who only had scaring on their legs and chest, but were otherwise healthy - you never know. Best of luck to you.

[KarenInCa]

There are pros and cons to both SN and NSN.
If you're considering SN, the time is about half (or less) of the wait as NSN waiting. However, because of the long waits for NSN now, it seems more 'competitive' for SN children, and I've seen perspective parents on pins and needles, waiting to hear if they are the chosen ones.
Just as Richard has said, the SNs are as major or as minor as you request. And your agency needs to be accredited with China for SN children. I don't know how much you can do to request SN now if your agency is not registered for SN children. Anyone know?
If you're considering SN, keep in mind that you also might need to be able and willing to spend a lot of time at doctor's offices or in hospitals for possible corrections of the SN. And also, that some SNs can be lifelong, although, not life threatening. Or they can be life threatening without corrections, and you have to know yourself and how much you can handle.
Both DH and I work full time, and we felt from the very beginning that we could devote time to a child, but that it was impractical and unfair to the child to consider SN when neither of us would have time off work to devote to doctors visits or hospital visits for days or half days at a time. These are things you have to consider.
Some SNs are as minor as birthmarks on the face or body, and depending on the severity, can be minor issues. But it's very important when considering SNs that you do your research about the SNs you are considering, and hopefully the agency will be helpful in this.
I think probably the most common SN is cleft palet or cleft lip. Some of which have already been corrected in China.
Any child that's adopted, and suffered from loss at a tender age and for a considerable amount of months, can really be considered SN. Some NSN children experience night terrors after being home for a while. Our daughter was adopted at 16.5 months and is happy and healthy. She does have some issues with loud or chaotic noises, and does not like being alone at night. She also seems to thrive on routine more than my adult son did, which I attribute to not having it so much as an infant. And can be very sensitive to loss, which gives depth to her personality, but it breaks my heart sometimes to consider what she must have been thru as a baby.

[jessibird]

Thank you- your input was very appreciated. We meet with our angency on Tues. and I will talk to them also. I know that no matter what - God has the right child for us :-) Thanks again!

[sak9645]

It is not clear to me whether you are planning to adopt through the typical "healthy child" route or through the SN route.

There have been two basic routes to adopting a child with known special needs from China.

In the first route, you simply apply as you would for a regular adoption, but specify that you would like the CCAA to match you with a child in a particular age range with a particular special need, such as a cleft palate or deafness. Your agency will ask that your dossier be expedited because of your special needs request.

China will then match you with a child meeting your specifications, as long is one is available and your request is deemed appropriate. You will receive information on the child and his/her medical issue. You can share the information with doctors, before making a final decision to adopt him/her. If you accept, you will then travel, meet your child, complete the adoption, and go to Guangzhou to get his/her visa, just as for any China adoption.

In the second route, you identify agencies participating in China's Waiting Child program. Each of these agencies will get a different list of children who are deemed hard to place because of age or special needs about every three months, and will be asked to find families for these children.

Most agencies will share their lists with any person who makes a serious inquiry. Others will only let you tell them about the type of special need you will accept, and then notify you if any children with that need become available. If you see a child on a list and you feel you can parent that child, you can talk to the agency to make sure that you get whatever additional information is known about the child. Then you can apply to the agency to adopt the child, if you continue to feel that you can parent him/her.

If several families request the same child, which is likely if the need is minor and the child is young, the agency will make a decision about the best family for the child. If you are selected, the agency will then help you to apply for preapproval from China. Basically, this step asks China if you could possibly be approved for the child.

If China says yes, then you will put together a full dossier, just as you would for a non-special needs adoption. It will be expedited by China and, if the dossier supports all the information given in the request for preapproval, China will formally "refer" you the child. You will then accept the referral, wait for travel authorization, and then go to meet and adopt your child.

A third approach to adopting older and special needs children, which is sort of a hybrid of these two approaches, has recently been developed. I am not an expert on it, but basically, agencies will be able to see a single list of children and ALL will be able to look for families for them. Essentially, it works pretty much the same as the original two approaches.

If you choose to go through ANY of the special needs routes, you can be sure that your child will have the special need you request. There are no absolute guarantees, however, that the needs will be exactly as described in the children's documents. In some cases, the needs may be much less severe than expected; for example, some parents have gotten to China and found that a heart defect has already been repaired very competently. And in a few cases, the special needs may be a bit more severe than expected, or there may be some other problems that weren't anticipated.

You simply have to understand that China's medical system is simply not the same as the U.S. medical system. And orphanage descriptions of medical needs may also not be 100% perfect. This is true of any foreign country from which one may adopt. You cannot count on a child being 100% as described.

And the same is true if you decide to go the NSN route and ask for a healthy child in a certain age range. The CCAA will make every effort to refer you a child who does not have known special needs, and MOST of the kids will be "as described."

You will get a medical report on the child referred to you, which you can share with a doctor. You will also get a certain amount of information about the child's development since coming to the orphanage, likes and dislikes, etc. While you can count on most of the information as being accurate, some of it simply won't be.

Some of the inaccuracies will be minor. As an example, because many of the children are weighed clothed, the weights are often overstated. Head circumferences are often wrong, too, because the Chinese doctors don't believe that head circumference matters much and because they are often too rushed to check and recheck measurements on a very wiggly baby. In virtually all cases, these faulty measurements won't matter at all, except in terms of what size clothes you need.

Likewise, the developmental forms filled out by the orphanage staff are sometimes completed hastily, by a person who doesn't really know a child well. Thus, he/she may say that a child loves oranges, when he/she hasn't tasted an orange in his/her life, or that he/she is a great sleeper, when he/she isn't. Again, these are pretty minor misstatements, unless you think about them at 3 a.m., while sitting up with your sleepless child.

But, again, there are no guarantees. Some children listed as healthy WILL come home and be found to have problems, correctable or not. Some of the problems will be simply typical orphanage "bugs" that are easily cured -- like intestinal parasites, scabies, bronchitis, etc. Some will be slightly more serious, but also easily treatable, like elevated lead levels or TB exposure.

Every so often, however, there WILL be a child who comes home with a more significant problem that that the parents did not expect. As an example, though it is less common than it used to be, a child listed as negative for Hep. B may come home and be found to be positive. Hep. B isn't horrible, but if a child is a chronic carrier, he/she can infect others who have not been immunized against Hep B. and there is some risk that he/she will develop liver damage.

And, of course, you do have to understand that some children may have done poorly in their birth families or in their orphanages or foster care settings, and may have certain psychological issues. These issues are not generally well understood in China. In the vast majority of cases, the issues will be minor and very treatable. As an example, a child may simply not know how to make eye contact or to give and receive affection. But there are some children who come home with attachment disorders and other issues, who will need professional help for their problems.

All in all, there are risks in international adoption, and it is not for everyone. However, you should recognize that there are risks in giving birth and in adopting domestically, too. Having children, by whatever method, involves a certain leap of faith.

Sharon

[EZ2Luv]

Sharon,

Once agin you have povde sch great infrmation. The one thing many don't realize is exactly what you have stated. Also, China does not regonize many as SN as we do here with Western Medicine. It is very important to know all the possibilities before embarking on such a life changing experience.

EZ

[jessibird]

"It is not clear to me whether you are planning to adopt through the typical "healthy child" route or through the SN route."

Well, It is not clear to us as well :-) My hubby and I have thought about the pros and cons, including health, about adoption for at least 2 years. We were originally going to go through Russia or Luthiania, however we decided due to some factors that wasn't right for our family.
That being said we both work full time, going into this like a pregnancy we will take the child that God has for us, however knowing our lifestyle we don't want to adopt a child that will require me to quit my job.
I really appreciate Sharon's input as I believe we are going to go the NSN route and know that if there are any things that 'pop' up after adoption it would be the same as if one of my bio children were to develop an issue. I have put total faith in this process in God. We have prayed about this and want another child to complete our family. We have so much love to give and our hearts cry for another child. Thank you all for your input.

[KarenInCa]

Jess-
If you are considering SN, but do not take that route, you might want to consider requesting a child that is older than 'as young as possible' Both times, we requested a child between 14 and 26 months old. We knew there were younger ones that were not being adopted simply because of the fact that they were no longer AYAP any more. It wasn't much but it was our way of doing what we could to bring a child out of the orphanages that might not otherwise be chosen due to age.
We also left it up to God, and we had stumbling blocks in our way, causing us to miss certain deadlines, etc. I would get frustrated, but I always felt it was God's way of aligning us with our child's time.
DH originally mentioned adoption to me on Thanksgiving day, 2004...really out of the blue. To this day, he does not know why he suggested adoption or China to me, because neither of us had discussed having any children together, and I already had an adult son. He says that God whispered in his ear, and told him that there was a little girl in China waiting for us if we chose to accept the challenge to be her parents.
We moved forward, and back then, it was closer to a 1 yr wait than a 3 yr wait.
She happened to be exactly 1 month old on that Thanksgiving day that we decided to adopt a child.
You never know the Truth of how life will go, until you're looking back at the pathway behind you to see how it actually went.

[twoinblue]

Hi Jess!

We adopted a SN child from China and are paperchasing for a second through the SN program.

I invite you to look at the blogs I have posted in my signature. In addition to my blog, there are links to dozens of my friends who have adopted from China and many of them are SN children.