[jenmart]

Hello! We are adopting a little girl who just turned 5 in July. She is actually from Thailand, but there isn't much activity on many Thai forums with so few Thai adoptions so I was hoping there may be families with experience in this from China.
The cut off date for kindergarten in our state is Sept 1st, so she is a "young" 5 for kindergarten. She is listed with delayed development and has been in the orphanage since birth. She is now in Kindergarten in Thailand and we will be picking her up this month.
So, my main concern is whether we should put her into kindergarten and have her finish off the rest of the school year, then maybe repeat it next year. OR enter her into the schools headstart preschool program..then have her start kindergarten next year. Im not sure if there are many families who have adopted older children from China and could possibly give me any advice, but I would be SO grateful!
Thank you!
Jen

[2littleturkeys]

I don't know if this will help but I/ll give my advice. We are looking into adoption and have 2 bio sons. I must tell you that kindergarten is much harder now then when we were in school. My 1st son had a summer b-day and I sent him at 5 and he wasn't ready, he had some minor delays. He had to repeat which was hard because his friends moved on. My 2nd son turned 5 this July and we held him. He is doing great in the transitional K. I would wait with her. She may have some bonding issues and if she had to repeat and make new friends it could be hard, it was on my son. I have never met a mother who has regretted waiting a year till they are six, I think more people are doing this these days. I hope I have helped some. Congratulations and good luck.
P.S. Maybe she'll have a better grasp on the lang. if you wait a year.

[mommytoEli]

i vote for the head start this year, full year of k next year. no one...even 5 year olds...want to stay in kindergarten another year while all their other friends move on. so keeping her out until next year may be a benefit for this reason, and i agree with the revious poster, k is so much more academically challenging than it used to be, so missing half a year may be too much for some one who will already struggle with language. plus....if head start and k are both half day where you are....it may give you a little more bonding time whatever decision you make, good luck

[jenmart]

Thanks! My son is in kindergarten now so I do see what is requirede of them, and I couldnt imagine her being ready. I was thinking putting her in more for the socialization, etc.

But, I never thought about her being upset from being held back due to the friends she has made! Thanks for bringing that up!

I really feel preschool will be best for her. IT is only a couple hours per day. Our kindergarten is a full day, although, I would have an option for half day!

[prechrswife]

I haven't been in your situation as a parent, but I will be when our bio dd starts kindergarten (August birthday). Speaking as a teacher, though, I would say go for the preschool program to start and put off kindergarten for a year. It will definitely ease your child's transition to school.

[cbw]

Though I'm not is your situation and can't speak to this with experience, I agree with the other posters. I imagine that kindergarten could be stressful for a child whose never been in a school type environment. And being held back could be very upsetting since your daughter will be forming attachments to other classmates.

[sak9645]

Since Thai perceptions of a child's development may be different from yours, and from the perceptions of your pediatrician, school, etc., you really shouldn't even try to make a decision until your child comes home and has been home for about a month.

At that point, you can decide whether she is ready for kindergarten or would do best to go into Head Start -- or has enough attachment issues that you ought to keep her at home until next September or so.

My suspicion is that she would do best in preschool. Young fives, even homegrown ones, often aren't ready for kindergarten, although some are.

If you need help in evaluating your daughter when she comes home, contact your local Early Intervention program, have a developmental evaluation at a local children's hospital, etc.

Sharon

[jasonsmom]

While I don't advocate keeping kids out of K simply due to their birthdays, in your case, I don't think I'd put her in mid-year. I'd go with the preschool option which will give her time to acclimate.

Paula

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi,

I'm with everyone else........I'd lean more towards the preschool setting. I think that even if your daughter does have the skill set to function well in a kindergarten setting.........it may be hard to access those skills given all the transitions she's going to experience. In regards to adoption, transitions and children, I think it's always best to treat them a little younger than their chronological age to meet their emotional needs.

[KarenInCa]

Is it an option to stay home with her at first?
With the adoption reimbursements from our employers, and the state compensation for baby bonding, we were blessed with me being able to stay home for the first 4 months. There was some down time, but for the most part, it was very good for bonding, which IMO helped her to catch up emotionally and physically. We went to MyGym and other things during that time, which made for great bonding for us, and emersion for her.
With an older child, she will be struggling with language and cultural differences, as well as needing to bond with you. I would start slowly and introduce her hometown Kindergarten/preschool with time.

[imdmom]

Speaking as a kindergarten teacher I would also have her hold off a year. I'm thinking of the perspective if she were enrolled in my class how would she adjust, etc. The language aspect is obvious, although I have had studetns enter my class who spoke NO English. Lucky for them I do speak some Spanish and could communicate with them in their native language a little bit. By being in headstart or a really good daycare setting she will pick up the language rather quickly. Since she wouldn't be starting at the beginning of the year I would be concerned about adjustment issues. We are now 1/4 the way through the school year. My kiddos have the rules, procedures, routines, expectations down. It's hard enough having a new student come into my class that fluently speaks English...I cannot even imagine the stress a child with no English skills would have. Our curriculum is very intense...I would be so afraid your child may be overstimulated or frustrated that she will completely shut down or act out because she wouldn't be able to communicate her needs. Attachment may also play a role in how she handles school. For that, you will have to wait to see how she is when she comes home with you. Kindergarten is no longer play time...as much as I hate to say that. It (IMHO...is NO longer developmentally appropriate for 5 year olds). Our society is too concerned about test scores, test scores, test scores. We turn these kids into robots and then wonder why there are discipline issues or the kids don't know how to communicate, share, etc....Kindergarten is now late 1st grade, early 2nd grade. We expect these kids to come in KNOWING their letters, sounds, sight words. There's NO time for "play".*NOT my opinion...those opinions come from the "powers that be"...
One thing I'm seeing this year is that some kids really can't handle a full day program. Our district is in the 1st year of full day program and we have seen more behavior issues (full all-out tantrums) than I have EVER seen in my whole 16 yrs of teaching!
My honest, personal, and professional opinion...find a program that is somewhat structured but not too structured. One that is rich in language and play. One where the instructors will encourage your daughter's development and accentuate her strengths, not her weaknesses. I don't know if she would qualify for HeadStart due to her age. I would contact the district for more info. Also, talk to your district's PAT (Parents As Teachers). They should have some good info for you...Don't forget your pediatrician.
Sorry this was soo long...just had to put my $.02 in.
Best of luck to you and your daughter!
Nancy
LID 1/30/07
Bottom line

[jenmart]

Nancy, thank you for your perspective! So appreciated. Yes, we have spoken to my sons kindergarten teacher and also our social worker who has seen many older kids come home from our local hosting programs. She definitely advises not to put her in kindergarten. We are trying to find a good preschool. Im actually thinking of maybe 3-4 days at our Montessori school. THey allow alot of playtime, exploration, etc. She will be with kids from 3-5 so she will not be pushed to do things she is not developmentally prepared for.
Our district here in AZ just went to full day school. My son loves school, but I was worried about the all day program. I see some of the kids when Im volunteering that are just not emotionally ready for it, and I feel bad for the Teacher! Thank you again for everyones kind words and advice. We will consider kindergarten next year, which will give her 9 months of being home with her family and learning the language, and social skills which should allow her to hopefully have a much better experience in kindergarten!
Good luck with everyones adoption! We are leaving next month to pick up our little one!
Jen

[richard p.]

Hi. Kidergarten may be too soon, but i would definitly look into a good day care. She will pick up language much quicker and get used to the structured enviornment. Our prescholl was almost like kindergarten and both our daughters had to go within a few weeks of comming home. Both loved it and adapted well.