[Happy2Bhere]

HI!
I have a confession to make- and I feel TERRIBLE about it- but getting it out here might actually deal with it.
I would do ANYTHING for my daughter. I tend to spoil her a little too much, spend every waking minute I can with her, and would do ANYTHING for her. I really feel like I am a good mom. I try to control TV time, what she watches, who she plays with, etc. I really feel like I have a good grip on motherhood, and most days I don't feel guilty about anything to do with her.
EXCEPT.........................
You know how toddlers, and most kids don't like alot of change? They thrive on routine, and like things just so? I get such a "high" from changing things around, and moving things. I love to move furniture, change cupboards, etc. Last night, (a few hours ago) while my daughter was sleeping, I moved her toy room all around. Sometimes it's downstairs, in the family room, sometimes it's upstairs in the formal dining room- that we just use for her playroom.
She is almost 4. Sometimes she gets so excited when I move the stuff, and says "That's cool" Other times she says "mommy- no, I don't like that- put it back, please!"
My husband also doesn't like stuff moved around. He wants to know when he opens a drawer- what he is looking for is there. I know this about both of them, and know it's best for everyone if I don't change things up.
Growing up- my mom moved furniture & cupboards around very often. It was "normal" in our house. I don't know if I inherited it from her (ha ha) or if it is some sort of ADD peaking through, or what.
I was happy about what I did while my husband & daughter slept- but then my husband got up for a drink & said "Do you know how many times you've moved things around since you said you weren't going to do it anymore?"
Now I feel guilty, and couldn't even sleep.
I don't do drugs, drink, smoke, gamble, etc. My "drug" of choice is caffeine, chocolate & moving things around! :-)
I don't do it that often, maybe once every 3 months.
I don't know what I wanted from this post- maybe someone to agree with my husband, or tell me it is ok, or just to "purge" myself of my guilt.
Thanks in advance everyone!
Melissa

[Karen in MT]

You are cute, and make me smile. You need more children to mess things up! You probably spend lots of time in your surroundings and enjoy some change! I remember doing that quite a bit when I was a younger mom and had the energy. Go ahead and let yourself change things that don't bug your family too much. As the years went by I had to break down and let others control their own space. But I like to be in control of some of mine. Also, get out more! Have a great weekend!
-Karen LID 7-14-06

[sakelley]

You are perfectly normal. I haven't done it as much at our new house, but I use to change things around every 2-3 months at our old one. One of my biggest things was switching the furniture from our family room on the first floor to our family room in the basement. I did this many times in the 4 years we lived there. It use to drive my husband crazy. I think I inherited it from my mother also because she was the same way.

[ElectricGypsy]

Yes, I think it's kind of normal for alot of women to like to rearrange and move things around, but you're kind of outnumbered in the household now about it .
If they truly don't like when you do it and it bothers them enough to tell you so, then it's important to respect their wishes. Just like if your husband kept doing something that you didn't like and kept doing it even after you asked him not to. You wouldn't like it and It goes both ways.

Maybe you can make a compromise with your family. 1. You can leave your husband's things alone since he has asked you to.
2. You can ask your daughter first what she likes to have left alone and everything else is free game. You can even allow her to help you in moving things around by telling you where she would like it etc...
3. You and your husband can decide on a room in the house that you get to have free reign over to move, redecorate and adjust as you wish.

Good luck and don't feel so bad. You honestly didn't know that it bothered him, so it's not your fault...
Now it's a different story if you continue to do it knowing that it bothers him...

[TaraL]

Well as far as I know there isn't a 12 step program for your behavior and I dont' think child services will be banging at your door so to me its a guilty pleasure worth doing. LOL!

My daughter likes all of her things were she left them. Unfortunately that many times is in the path of walking or scattered all over the house. So I enlisted her in helping me clean the stuff up and even switch it around sometimes. I love to find new ways to organize. That is actually a guilty pleaure for me. Oh, God, I am sad aren't I? LOL!

My point is maybe if you asked her to help you and give you ideas she might be more receptive of it. Even more than consistency our little ones (mine is 3.5 years old) love control. I am sure you know that. Maybe a little control of the set up might make it fun for her and then she can join you (and of course inherit your habit but she could inherit alot worse and biology has nothing to do with it).

As for your husband, well, he had to know about your guilty pleasure before he said "I do" and even if he didn't he just needs to chalk it up to one of your cute little quirks that makes him love you more.

[lucia2]

that is so funny! I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum. my spouse laughs when he tries to move a chair or whatever knowing the first words out of my mouth will be "but it goes there." I think I just grew up with a very structured household where design decisions were like unmoveable architecture. even in college I hesitated to move dorm furniture! I'm getting better....but it's still unnerving for me to come home & find something moved....but I have to say, if it makes you feel any better, I think I'm the one with the problem - not you! change is good, right!

[Happy2Bhere]

Thanks everyone!
My daughter woke up & gave me so many hugs & kisses & said "THANK YOU MOMMY I LOVE IT"
Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she doesn't.
I work 3rd shift, so I can work while my daughter sleeps. I skimp on sleep as much as possible, to try to rid myself of working moms guilt, even though she sleeps while I am gone. Some days, I just want change, or a project. I guess last night- I had off, and am so used to working all night- I just wanted a big project.
As one poster said, once there are two girls here, I won't have time or space or the energy to worry about it-lol.
My husband grew up in a house that NEVER got moved around. In our house, it was the norm, and I kind of like things changed around. Variety- spice of life, right?
Thanks again everyone!
Melissa