[kgembs]

Hi there

Has anyone been told they can't send a care package? Our agency said they don't do that. I SOOOO want to send one to our daughter, she is in foster care through one of the SWI in Fuzhou City, she will be around 31mths at Gotcha and we feel it would help her so much if she gets pics of us and her new home before we go. What can we do?

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi,

Hmmmmm, a tough situation. Maybe you could rephrase it and say it's not a carepackage, it's photos to help with the transition. See if they will help you with that. You can even add some Chinese characters to your photos with words like "mom, dad, house" etc by going to mandarintools.com.

You could also see if you can connect with your child's orphanage group/yahoo group. Maybe someone will be traveling over soon and could deliver the photos in person. Now, how to get the photos from the SWI to the foster family.......................

Take care,
Melissa

[KarenInCa]

Our agency was real sticklers about that with our first daughter. They said they hadn't even heard of such a thing....ummm ok.
We used Adel's service at Blessed Kids dot com. (all one word), and went around our agency. She got the package.

[sak9645]

The CCAA technically forbids parents and/or agencies to have any contact with orphanages or foster families prior to a child's adoption.

While some agencies don't pay attention to this rule, others take it seriously. They know that the CCAA is simply trying to keep the adoption process "clean" and free of corruption.

I know that, with older children, sending photos and such can help with transitioning. However, if your agency is telling you not to send care packages, and many agencies do tell their clients that, please respect their wishes. These agencies do not want the CCAA to bar them from doing adoptions.

Sharon

[lotsoflove]

Originally Posted by KarenInCa

Our agency was real sticklers about that with our first daughter. They said they hadn't even heard of such a thing....ummm ok.
We used Adel's service at Blessed Kids dot com. (all one word), and went around our agency. She got the package.

I also used Adel's service and I can not wait to see the pics of my son with his panda bear and blanket and hopefully eating some cake too. I would look into it and they have such great packages of all kinds.

[oleson1]

Our agency didn't allow us to either... it was a bummer. Ultimately, we were so happy with everything else, this one disappointment was OK.

[Couchkat]

That's funny. Our agency actually advises to send a care package. They give you ideas of what to put in it, a sample letter with blanks to fill out your name and the baby's name etc...
Our package got to her since we got the disposable cameras back, but nothing else came back, which I'm okay with. Hopefully another little one gets to use the toys, blanky etc.

[ElectricGypsy]

I wasn't told by my agency not to send a care package, but I was strongly advised against it. I think that it was explained to me kind of along the lines of what Sharon said in her previous post. It's strange though because one of the other parents in my travel group was able to send a care package.

I really wish that I could have. It would have been nice to send pictures and things to the foster family since they don't see the pictures and information that the agency includes in the dossier etc.

[KarenInCa]

hmmm....never heard that the CCAA discourages it. Im not so sure that's the case, or else Blessed Kids would probably be shut down, or at least discouraged. And the agencies that do encourge it wouldn't.
In our case, I think it was that the coordinator didn't do anything 'out of the ordinary', not for fear of rocking the boat with CCAA, but more likely out of fear of rocking the boat with the owner of the agency.

[lovemybulldog]

Our agency also told us that it's a good idea, especially for toddlers & up. Although the CCAA may technically forbid it, they also technically forbid posting child pics before acceptance, too, yet they don't enforce it. I think they have to put that rule out there to prevent a flood of gifts and items that they would wind up needing to throw away (I can just see some people saying..."please feed this formula to my child", or, "please use these diapers until we arrive for our daughter").

I just sent my rep an email on Friday asking for help from their translator with some questions and labels for pictures. I actually plan to send my package through my Yahoo group coordinator who has family near the CWI and volunteer frequently. They are friends with the director, which I felt offered some peace of mind in the items getting in our little guy's hands. It might save us $ over Blessed Kids, too.

I would ask again something like "how can I connect with my child to help facilitate the bonding process now?". They may give you a "what we don't know won't hurt us" type answer, freeing you to contact someone traveling from a Yahoo group or similar, or use Adele's service.

Good luck!

[jasonsmom]

Originally Posted by ElectricGypsy

I wasn't told by my agency not to send a care package, but I was strongly advised against it. I think that it was explained to me kind of along the lines of what Sharon said in her previous post. It's strange though because one of the other parents in my travel group was able to send a care package.

I really wish that I could have. It would have been nice to send pictures and things to the foster family since they don't see the pictures and information that the agency includes in the dossier etc.

I sent my package without the agency's blessing. It is definitely something that was advised against and they won't facilitate at all. There's a yahoo group for Jess's SWI which is where I got the address from. I sent it myself versus using Blessed Kids. Although our agency does strongly advise against sending packages, they did tell another family that I could bring a package for them since this SWI allows visits and I delivered it to the SWI.

Paula

[sakelley]

My agency allows you to send care packages if the child is older than 2 years old. They only allow you to send a few things (photo album, disposable camera, and small toy) and you have to send it through the agency. The photo album really helped in our daughter's case. When they brought her to us, she refused to go to my husband or I and started crying. The nanny got out the photo album and showed her the picture of us and pointed to us telling her this is "mama" and "baba". Our daughter willingly came to me after this. The nanny told us that she loved looking at the pictures in the album.

[Sheba]

We know another couple told not to by their agency. They sent one anyways and had no issues. Just my two cents, I would send one anyways. We sent one and got the camera, blanket and panda back with Kennedy. The pictures were priceless. The worst is you get nothing from what you sent and the best is you get something you will cherish. Also if you do not send one, you may keep wandering why you did not. Whay does the agency say not to send one?

We sent Kennedy's packaged thru blessed kids and sent a photo album for her to see us and her new family. We also sent a few goodies for the Foster Mom and Kennedy was 10mths at adoption.