[smbcpc]

Hi everyone,
We received our baby today and it was very a very emotional, chaotic and wonderful day for us.

I do have a question. Our baby is 9.5 months old and we noticed that in addition to being tiny (less than 9 kg or 18 lbs) her motor skills are not very developed. She still needs some assistance to sit up and her head is mostly upright, but she tends to bob it side to side and forward to backward. My question is, is this normal for orphanage babies or should we have her examined by a pediatrician before making the adoption formal tomorrow? Our agency representative is willing to take us to a local hospital to her her examined by an authorized CCAA pediatrician.

Thanks in advance.

[ElectricGypsy]

I think that it is very normal for orphanage babies to have developmental issues---which usually are brought up to speed pretty quickly once they have individualized care from their parents and possible therapy in some cases.

As for her weight, Keira was not much over 18 pounds when we received her and she was 14 months (wearing 9 month old clothes comfortably)--she is doing wonderfully and gaining more weight now that she is here.

If your rep is more than willing to take you to a local doctor, I say by all means do it. It might make you feel a little better although she probably is fine.

Congratulations and I can't wait to see the pictures!

[eager2adopt]

Our little one was 11 months at Gotcha, and I just remember describing her as "soooo infantile" and like a "rag doll" she was so limp most of the time, she could sit up but after just a few minutes, she would just fold in the middle, fall to her side and lay there. She just didn't seem to have much muscle tone or motivation to interact with the environment. I think she was just weak and used to laying around. Her papers said she was doing all kinds of things, but we didn't see it... like crawling (she did finally do this after about 5 days) and eating solids (which took several months at home to begin). Lucy has been home 2 years, and other than slow with speech, she is a powerhouse...very physically active and fearless too. She is so full of life and VERY interested in her world...she thinks she owns everything in it, and sees no need to share!

I hope that as the days go by, your worries subside, I wish you the best and would advise to do whatever would give you some peace of mind.
sue

[prechrswife]

We have friends whose 8 month old (at Gotcha day) was extremely developmentally delayed after life in the orphanage. She is now a very healthy, outgoing, normal 5 year old girl who is starting kindergarten this fall. Another family who was in our travel group adopted a little girl, who at 8 months old acted like a much younger baby. She is now (at 16 months) thriving in her new home.

[stephdpenn]

It is very normal for her development to be behind. She has not been in a loving home where she has gotten one on one attention. I think the fact that she can sit at all is a very good sign.
We meet our daughter at 17 months of age and she weighed only 17 pounds. Now she is 26 months old and a little over 20 pounds. She is very healthy and smart, just tiny.

[stephdpenn]

I just visited your blog and wanted to say your daughter is beautiful!
She looks very alert in the pictures. I imagine the lack of muscle control comes from her spending most of her life in a crib or a walker. At less than 10 months of age she has not gotten the chance to develop her muscles and gain complete control of them.
Also please remember she may not be doing all she is able to do cause of the shock she is going through with all the recent changes. We had our daughter for 2 days before we knew she could even walk or talk. She was in total shut-down mode and acted mental retarded and she is anything but.
Good luck and hang in there, she is a beauty!

[Emmaline Lola]

I am still waiting for my baby, lid 4.3.06, but have been doing much research and have learned from first hand parents, that the children will be developmentally behind when we meet them.....being institutionalized and also "shutting down" soon after gotcha day with all the emotions the little guys are feeling........I am sure your little one is fine, she is beautiful, if it would help settle your fears have a doctor look at her, but I am sure she just needs some love and tlc from her new mommy!

Best of luck, safe journey home,
catherine

ps: my bio dd did not crawl until 10 months, or walk until she was almost 18months......she is now almost 2 1/2 and a running fool! Your fears are normal, (I am sure I will experience some of the same), but have faith.......she will be fine...

[TaraL]

Our daughter was the same way but she was already 12.5 months when we got her. I remember her not being able to control her head and when you picked her up you had to hold her head like a newborn. I would say that after 2 weeks this changed tremendously. Also, the muscles in her legs were like jello and she couldn't even stand. Again, this improved by the time we got home from China. Olivia also only weighed 15.5 lbs in China at 12.5 mos old and never got out of 16 lbs until she was about 17 mos. old. She wore 6-9 month clothes forever.

Olivia is now 3.5. She is still a peanut and her 2t clothes are still baggy. She is developmentally advanced in every way and is extremely healthy. She hasn't even gone to a doctor in 2 years except for well baby check ups!

I think what you are seeing is very normal orphanage development. I honestly don't know how much good info you will get from a doctor in China either. Is there any parents in your adoption group (or other groups at the same hotel) that have adopted before and know more about this? Perhaps they could help. Please keep us updated.

[Monielynn]

Oh, she is beautiful. I would think that she is acting pretty normally for a baby from an orphanage. I would guess that with love and one-on-one care, she will catch up to her peers quickly. Remember that you are both going through a very stressful (but wonderful) time in your lives!

My daughter was 21mo when we adopted her. She shut down to the point that she wouldn't take a bottle (we spoon fed her formula for several days) or eat, she wouldn't smile or look at us. I was so worried about her. We recently had her evaluated, and she is not developmentally delayed at all, only speech delayed due to her cleft palate.

good luck!

[thundrrds]

I agree with everyone else. Our kids tend to be delayed with skills and then catch up quickly. We called our 2nd daughter 'our little floppy girl'. She was 10 months old at time of adoption, couldn't sit without supports, didn't creep or crawl, and weighed about 16 lbs. We visited her orphanage and did a big 'ahahhhh' when we saw the lack of any toys or mats for the children to lie / creep on.
She is now nearly 3 and very much average weight and height for her age and excelling at any and all sports she tries; she's quite the limber climber and keeps up with kids much older than her.

Good luck with everything. Chances are in a few days you'll see amazing differences in your daughter. She's probably in 'shut down' mode right now. In 3-5 days she'll be a different girl!

Joanne

[CoatAnnHat]

I agree with what everyone else is saying, it seems like she is exhibiting typical orphanage delays. Our daughter was only 19lbs at 20 months old.

I know many families are not prepared to deal with some of these issues. If for some reason you need to disrupt, please know that you can do so at home rather than in China. At home you know she will find a family that will be able to handle any issues she may have. Disrupting in China may cause her a long delay in finding a family.

I am sorry you find yourself with such a difficult decision ahead of you, my prayers are with your family.

[revrob]

I just wanted to encourage you in the same way that you have already heard here from so many. Many children experience exactly what you have described. The vast majority easily overcome most of those setbacks once they are home in a nurturing environment and will catch up with their peers very quickly. I certainly understand your fear (that's a mommy's job), but I believe that what you are expereiencing is a very typical symptom that will work itself out quickly.

Enjoy your sweet one! Enjoy every moment!

[SofiasMom]

yes babies in orphanages are usually (not always) developmentally behind. If you don't see improvement when you get home, talk to your pediatirican and get a referral to Early Intervention. It's free (federally paid for) and is for children under 3. They will do an evaluation and provide services. However, chances are you'll see lots of improvement before you even get home.

Have a wonderful trip! and Enjoy.

[twoinblue]

One thing to remember is that a lot of orphanages don't have heat so all winter long they wrap the babies up tight so they will stay warm but they also can't move. This leaves them very physically undeveloped. But they still catch up.

[jasonsmom]

The delays sound typical. Jess was 18 pounds fully dressed at the physical on Shamian Island and she was 17 months old. We called Early Intervention when we got home because she was delayed in both gross and fine motor; 3 months later and I told the therapist I want to go to monthly consults because the only thing she's really delayed in now is speech which is to be expected since she's only been hearing English for 3 months; her delays were totally due to lack of exposure.

Paula