[susanandgrace]

Did any of you or do you plan to bring your other children with you when you pick up your baby?

DH and I have one daughter. We are looking into international adoption, but we have to take our child with us (we can not leave her at home).

I'm wondering who brought their toddler and if it is even allowed.

Thanks

[elemomma]

Some agencies do not allow children to travel, but others do. That is a question that you would need to ask when interviewing different agencies. At the time of travel, my children were 5 and 2. I left them at home because I was worried about them being cranky due to the time change, therefore making them more "needy". However, we saw alot of families with children that seemed to be doing just fine. If it is your desire to take your daughter, then just find an agency that is okay with it. If she is a toddler now, she would be a little older anyway once you get a referral.

[eager2adopt]

My DH and I travelled with our daughter's family to pick up Lucy, taking along her 9 and 7 year old sons, (the 5 and 3 year old stayed home) Leaving the little ones home was a decision based on our worries about the food, medical issues if they arose, comfort of travelling on such a long trip, and their ability to take a "back seat" to some of the adoption process. The bigger boys did very well, they learned alot, and were able to understand the food issues, and mind our rules without total supervision (ie, rules about water, staying close for safety... etc like you would use to visit Mexico). One did get a short bout of "montazuma's revenge", and it was comforting to be able to use "adult" meds to battle it and not worry about dehydration like you would with a younger child. They were also able to entertain themselves on the plane, and they were great about putting their new sister's needs first, especially during the gotcha day. They actually were a big help, and they eased her bonding I think, and they will always have a special place in the adoption. We were very glad in hind sight that we did not try to take the smaller children. It was in many ways a hard trip (lots of walking, waiting, adult stressing etc). We have made several shorter vacations since returning, like Florida and Utah, the little guys are just high maintenance and exhausting. I realize that our volume of kiddos is high (we are talking about 6 children all under 10 years), but we are also a group of four adults, so it is probably similar. Anyway, I think it can be done, but wouldn't be my first choice with a three year old. But with the current wait times, you may find it very do-able to take along just one 5-6 year old! I know it may not sound very inviting, but several families in our group had just one parent travelling, so the other parent could be with small children at home. Not ideal maybe but also an option. International adoption is a wonderful experience, the travel is a very small part of the life long love story. Stay in touch with the forum and you will get lots of good information.

[Mailbox13]

We went with one of the largest China only agencies. They have no rules against taking children. We took our 4 year old. We thought it was important that he be involved. We also thought he might help our daughter adjust since he was closer to her size. The year before we had taken him to California (6 hour flight). That acted like a little practice trip. We got to see how he handled travelling. He is also not supper picky about food. Some children travel better than others. Overall, it went really well. I was really proud of him.

[kff]

China allows one parent to travel. I'm going to China alone while my wife watches our daughter. The only thing is the adoption is completed here in the states. Cost wise- it's a wash because you save on airfare but it's costs about 2k more. Good luck.

[jbzanie]

We haven't traveled yet but we are planning on taking our 6 year old daughter with us. Well she will be probaby almost 8 by the time she goes.

We felt it was important for her to go with us. I don't think if I had a 2 or 3 year old I would bring them.

[susanandgrace]

Our daughter actually turned 3 in November. So with the wait for adoption, I am thinking she will probably be 5 at the time.

for the replies.

[oleson1]

We have 2 bio sons. Our older son turned 8 on the day that we arrived in China (that was hard for us...) and the other was 5 1/2. We chose NOT to take them for a several reasons.
1. We would have needed to take them out of school for over 2 weeks.
2. They are both EXTREMELY picky eaters. We knew our boys well enough to know that they would not have tolerated the changes in food. (They would have withered away to nothing... )
3. Our time away gave them some great "alone" time with Grandma and Papa before we brought home their new little sister.
4. We wanted some time alone to bond with our new daughter without the distraction of looking for entertainment for our sons, too.

We knew our boys well enough to know that they wouldn't tolerate the trip well at that time. That said, there were 2 families in our travel group who DID choose to bring their other children and they did fine. You just have to know what your kids can handle.

We do plan on doing a Heritiage trip later (in 5 or 6 years) and our boys are excited for a family trip to China!

[foreverluv]

We are leaving for China in 11 days and are taking our 2 young sons with us. We are also taking an extra adult to watch them during the long, boring paperwork times. Leaving them at home was not doable, neither was missing the trip for my husband or myself, so they are coming.