[jenmart]

Actually, the agency we would work with offers 2 programs..one where the birthmother actually chooses you and the other is where the birthmoms are not involved in the process. We would choose the program where the birthmom does not choose us. Also, with this program, you do not get to meet the birthmom but you do get lots of information regarding why she gave up her child..any medical or just background of the mother. But, yes, I can see how people would rather just know that when they are up on the list,they will get a child without a doubt. I am not sure I can handle a 18mnt plus wait for referral. I think I would go bonkers! I really appreciate everyones advice and opinions . Thanks!

[jenmart]

I forgot to add that a big reason I was drawn to Taiwan was the short in country stay of 3-5 days since we have children at home. I realize only one person has to travel to China..but we both really, really want to go. So, this was just something I thought would fit our family better..but I also love how China is so stable other than the fluctuation of referral times. SO confused

[Chinagirl2007]

Right, the shorter in-country stay is a bonus. And for many people, the birthmother contact is a big bonus too. Whichever program you are in, whether its the birthmother-chooses or the orphanage-chooses program, there are records of the birthmother. She doesnt just disappear after birth like is the case with the China abandonments. It would be easier for your child to find her later if he/she wants. Since adoptive parents are required to provide updates and photos for 7 years I think( a taiwan requirement), the lines of communication are more open. That's a big benefit if this is what you are looking for.

Not sure how comfortable I am with it personally, but I can see the pluses.

[jenmart]

Yes, I believe the Birthmoms name is on paperwork you receive..Im not 100% on that. My husband just said he wants to go with China..but his reasoning.."because he wants to see China"
Here I am wracking my brain..looking at pros, cons, etc..and my wonderful husband makes his decision soley on which country he wants to "see"..boy, I wish it could be that easy for me!

[sakelley]

Originally Posted by jenmart

Taiwan is about 21k total with the agency we would pick. Is this much less than a total adoption from China? The agency we would use is saying about 18k with 2 people travelling. I wonder if we should just head for Taiwan.

We spent exactly $21000 (included everything, even postage) for our adoption from China. This was for a SN child so we were actually discounted about $1500 for agency fees. She was over 2 years old so we had to buy 3 seats on the return trip.

[sethsmommy]

I am very interested in the Taiwan program. It seems like the agencies I looked at are offering other options beside the birthmother option. I can pm you a blog of a girl who is adopting from Taiwan and it has gone soooo fast for her. She has made no mention of a birthmother. Her agency referred the baby to them. She is so cute!! I also have links to two agencies that have small referral times, if you want their names.

Gina

[sethsmommy]

Originally Posted by jenmart

Yes, I believe the Birthmoms name is on paperwork you receive..Im not 100% on that. My husband just said he wants to go with China..but his reasoning.."because he wants to see China"
Here I am wracking my brain..looking at pros, cons, etc..and my wonderful husband makes his decision soley on which country he wants to "see"..boy, I wish it could be that easy for me!

OH my gosh...that is exactly what my dh said. Must be a guy thing. Taiwan is not interesting enough....

[jenmart]

Well, after all this, we have decided to go with Taiwan..the short in country stay will work for us. Plus, the agency we are going with does not even work with the birthmom programs. The families that have just recently brought home their little ones got a referral in 3-4months! The director is saying maybe 6months since Taiwan may start to get more popular with China being so long. You get a lot of background of the birthmother but dont necessarily meet them. We also have decided to adopt a slightly older child maybe 18mos-24months and Taiwan has this age range available. Good luck to everyone..Jen