[ttcasey]

Has anyone had experience with adopting a 2-3 year old from China and what has been the experiences with bonding, attachment issues, language, etc....

[maureen3770]

Hi,

I returned home at the end of September with my 3 year old daughter Olivia. I had heard that toddler adoption can be quite difficult, but I knew that it was right for me. So, I educated myself as much as I could by reading, taking classes and talking to other families who had BTDT. I am glad I was prepared, but I have to say that my transition to becoming a family with Olivia has been quite seemless. She has adjusted amazingly well and is very attached to me. It did take us some time to get to know each other and for me to figure out what worked for her and what didn't, but overall it has just been an amazing, enjoyable and positive experience. I know that it's not always that way, but sometimes it is.

Yes, she's 3 and she behaves exactly like that which is great...that's exactly what she should be doing. She is very independent and loves to say "Olivia do it" when she thinks I'm about to help her with something. It makes me smile. Don't be afraid, just be prepared to meet whatever challenges you face head on. And if you are currently childless like I was (Olivia is my first child) then I would also spend some time reading just general parenting a toddler books. Having a plan (with a plan B, C & D!) is helpful if you've never parented before.

Feel free to check out my blog...there is a lot of info on my experience with Olivia in China and since we've returned home.


Good luck!

[sakelley]

Originally Posted by maureen3770

Hi,

She is very independent and loves to say "Olivia do it" when she thinks I'm about to help her with something.

My Ashlei does the same thing.

We returned home on Sept 14 with our daughter who was 34 months at the time. The biggest struggle we had was with the language barrier. She would get very frustrated because we didn't understand what she was trying to say. But, she picked up on the language very quickly. She is attaching very well, more to mommy than daddy though. She acts just like your typical 3 year old - lots of temper tantrums if she doesn't get her way. We started her in preschool 6 weeks after we got back and I think it is doing wonders for her. It has not hindered attachment at all, I actually think it has helped it. And it has especially helped with her English skills.

We were also childless so it was a challenge in itself going straight to an almost 3 year old. But we went into the adoption fearing the worst, but hoping for the best. We are glad that we decided to adopt an older toddler and if we ever adopt again, we will adopt another 2-3 year old.

[annej]

I have adopted two 2 year olds and have been very lucky. The most recent boy I adopted was attached before we even left the social welfare office. We had to go back the next day to do paperwork and he did not want to go.
My daughter attached quickly too however she took a few days to check me out before she gave in. SHe was very quiet but did laugh and play. She finally opened up and became alittle more loving.
They were both two at gotcha day and are more attached to me now than my nsn daughter who was adopted at 9 months. They hate when I am out of their site and don't like their routines messed up
Anne J

[gwens5]

My husband and I have just started our homestudy. We are adopting a 2 yr old and am glad someone else is to. My youngest sister was adopted. She was 2 when she joined the family and other than the language barrier, there were no other problems.

[ttcasey]

My biggest fear is attachment issues, but it sounds like there is a short period of adjustments? Any other things you can think of?

[Petsitter]

Originally Posted by ttcasey

My biggest fear is attachment issues, but it sounds like there is a short period of adjustments? Any other things you can think of?

We are DTC for a little boy who will be three before we travel. I personally am very happy adopting a toddler! I can just imagine all of the fun that we are going to have!


And remember, even if you adopt a 6 month old baby, there still may be attachment issues! So, don't let that dissuade you.