[SofiasMom]

I got this off of another list and with the author's permission, posting it here as I thought it had some good suggestions for those of you who will be traveling soon:
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I will try to hit the highlights but will leave some things for you to discover while you are there. I'll also caveat that each province is different and each trip is different.

The babies
Everyone had a different experience. Most of the babies adjusted fairly quickly. Some adjusted to one spouse quickly and took longer with the other. Some had spent time in foster care, others were orphanage-only. Some of the older kids (two/three years old) were difficult at first. Some were already sleeping through the night and some weren't. Some got sick, others were fine. Some had odd haircuts. Some were starting to walk, some were still very babylike. However, I think almost everyone would say they got the perfect child for them and that the bonding time (The "Harmonious Period," as they call it!) was fulfilling.

I'd recommend a zenlike outlook: you are going to get whatever you get (just like with a bio-child), and it will be great, but it might not be great at first, and it might not be great in the way you expect. You'll have a lifetime with the child, so don't get too focused on the first few days.

The first day we received a write-up about each baby about their daily schedule, what food they were used to, their preferences, which were high-level but useful.

They provided us Chinese baby formula that Sarah was already used to, plus we were able to buy more there. We had brought a lot with us and did not end up using any of it. We gave it away to the SWI. We did bring rice cereal that we were glad we had. We also raided the breakfast buffet for cheerios, and most had congee, rice, eggs, and other things the babies already liked. We also brought a small thermos for hot water that we used every day to make formula. We'd put the power in the empty bottles, then, when the time came, add a mix of hot and cold water until the temperature was right. We also brought some small, disposable, tupperware containers to carry around rice cereal, cheerioes, etc, then would wash them in the sink every night.

It is hard to know what size your baby will be. We brought a few things that we thought would fit then bought a few more there. Again, travel light. You'll get a chance to buy things there (and you will want to), people will give you lots of clothes as
gifts when you get back and, well, babies don't really sweat that much, so if she has to wear something twice while you sort it out, so be it.

Several of the babies got sick. We tried to make sure everyone got plenty of sleep, washed their hands, did not drink tap water, and we kept to the food Sarah was used to and took no risks on introducing anything new (she's got the rest of her life for that!)

Some of the babies were teething, which is difficult in any case, but especially when you don't know your baby and don't know if she is sick or not.

Sarah usually slept with Mary and did not use the crib provided, but others did. Again, all of the babies are different.

I believe that Mary would say the single most important thing that she brought on the trip was a baby carrier. We did not bother with a stroller, and Sarah would have hated it anyway, although others used theirs. You can also buy a cheap stroller in China and leave it behind. You might have trouble finding a carrier there, so that is a good thing to bring with you.

We brought along a small shoulder bag that we used for diapers, money, camera, misc. You will be out and about on buses, planes, restaurants, etc., everyday, so travel light, but bring along a small bag that is easy to lug around.

The medical exam in Guangzhou is a US Government requirement for anyone immigrating to the US. It is not designed to give you any new information about your baby, so do not expect any answers from it. There is always risk that you discover something when you get home to your own pediatrician after the adoption is completed (however, with biological babies, you always have that risk, too!)

Again, remember, zenlike...

Planning travel
I did as much legwork as I could beforehand researching flights. I knew all of the flight schedules, how loaded each flight was, seating charts, etc., so we were able to make quickdecisions. remember that you can ask your favorite airline if they have adoption discounts, and they might. We got an extra seat for the return trip. It cost more money, but for a 12 hour flight with a new baby in economy class, it was worth it. We took the train from Hong Kong to Guangzhou, which was a good option. Avoid tight connections.


Keeping your sanity
We took a mini-vacation beforehand by flying through Hong Kong and spending 5 days there before continuing on by train to Guangzhou. We did this 1) to have one more vacation as a threesome before adding child number two to the mix, 2) to give some extra days to get over jetlag so we'd be good and rested when the main event started, 3) well, we went all of that way, why not see something else? Others went through Shanghai, Beijing. Everyone who did this was glad they did.

Being on the road and together 24 hours a day with your spouse is stressful. Resist the temptation to fight, get some time apart, take shifts with the baby, try to get your workouts in, divide up the responsibilities, plan things out beforehand, etc.

Take turns. Better to have one spouse on duty and the other off and relaxing/sleeping than to both be on duty and grumpy 24/7. Comaraderie is overrated. Divide and conquer. Make sure each of you gets time to yourself each day, and if the baby is not sleeping, find a way to have that only keep one spouse awake at a time. And plan ahead (I'll take tonight, you take tomorrow night, etc.) Rather than waiting until everyone is grumpy to decide who is on and who is not.


What to pack
In October it was hot hot hot and humid, so we packed light clothes, and we were glad. I only brought one pair of long pants and only wore them a few times. We were out in the sun several days, so bring sunscreen, hat, etc. Pack light light light. You can do laundry there. And you will end up picking up a lot of stuff in China to bring back home. Pack what you think you need, then take another pass and ask if there some things you can lose. And make sure you have lots of empty space in your suitcases. You can buy an extra suitcase in China (probably $20-$30 for a pretty good one) if you really find things there you want to bring back home with you, but easier to just travel light in the first place. Assume you are going to get sick and bring your favorite pharmaceutical goodies from home.

We brought a laptop and were so glad we did. All of our hotels had high-speed internet (your mileage may vary depending on province). We set up a Skype account and brought a small microphone/videocamera so that we could make free calls and videoconference from China. Our phone bill for the whole trip was $0.00, and we spent hours talking to people (remember that you can call a landline from Skype for free). You will also use it for pictures, researching travel tips, maps, DVDs, keeping in touch, etc)

We shed a lot of things along the way. Baby stuff that we knew we weren't going to use, running shoes that were on their last legs (which is why we brought them, so we could ditch them at the end of the trip), magazines and books that we were done with, etc.

I brought a waterproof durable binder for all of the paperwork, travel documents, cash, and passports, kept them all together, and stored them in the safe in our room. I never checked them in.

The Nanning group went to Walmart (it is great and totally different than the US, trust me). Plus the hotel shop had a lot of baby stuff. Bring the basics, but don't feel like you need to pack for every possible contingency.

We ate a lot of Chinese food, but the hotels all had "Western Style" restaurants where you could get just about anything. We did a mix, including room service a few times when we were tired or kids were napping. Two words: breakfast buffet. Know it, and love it.

We had shopping options everywhere we went. Walmart. Grocery store. Shop in the hotel. Clothes and gift shopping.

The parks in China are great, so if you are near one, I'd recommend visiting them. I did an early morning walk/run in the park every morning and loved being out with all of the elder Chinese doing their Tai Chi, badmitton, walking. They are very safe.

Other
The traffic is crazy: bikes, motorcycles, cars., going every which direction and ignoring all traffic signals. Do not try to reason about whether the traffic drives on the right or left...the answer is, "both" at all times. Always look both ways and continue to do so until you are safely on the other side. Most buses and taxis do not have seat belts.

Some differences in China might grate on you: the traffic, noise, chaos, spitting, trash, smog, people smoking around your baby, etc. Just roll with it. This is China, not the US, and it is just different. Enjoy it.

Service in hotels, shops, and restaurants is great in that you are always surrounded by lots of people who are eager to please, however you need to ask for things. Ask for your check, or you will never get it. Ask for a second drink at the restaurant. Ask for coffee. You have to ask. Ask for non-smoking in the restaurants. You'll still be surrounded by smokers, but there may be fewer. also books non-smoking rooms when possible.

You get a lot of stares and questions, but it is always friendly and good natured. We had people lined up to take pictures with our three-year old (blond hair/blue eyes). We just tried to roll with it, enjoy it, and took pictures of them taking pictures of us. We also talked with several people who did not even know these adoptions were happening from China. We had to explain the concept, but not sure they actually understood that these babies were leaving the country in a week. 8,000 per year to the US may sound like a large number to us, but in the context of 1.3B people...

When you get back home, you'll have jetlag and will have a new baby, so continue to take care of yourself and try to keep a light schedule, manage jetlag, don't get sick, etc. We think it will take a week or two to get back into our normal rhythym (well, whatever that turns out to be).

[Happy2Bhere]

Thanks for a great post!
Hope I remember all that in 18-24 months when we travel! Great insight!

[Sheba]

That is awewome advice. One thing we made sure we also did was take lots of pictures and videos. You cannot have too many and they are wonderful memories. And ask for copies from your travel group. We exchanged them and had some wonderful pictures of us as a family. We also took a few movies to watch on our laptop and will again! It helps pass the time when you are up at 4am!

One more thing we did was take pac mates. They were wonderful for packing diapers and clothes in. We traveled with our son and we had a blast. Remember to take it all in stride. I have blonde hair and now know what the celebs in the US feel like. I have never had my picture taken so many times in my life. They mean nothing by it and our just curious of us strangers.

Most of all, try to enjoy yourselves. It will all work out!

[oleson1]

and can I add...

Keep a journal with you while you are there.

Dave and I both journaled (in the same journal). We did it in the form of daily letters to Jasmine. Even now, it is fun to look back on what went on from day to day and how our feelings progressed. I can imagine how 5, 10 or 15 years from now much it will mean. (Maybe we will give it to her as a gift when she adopts her first child ).