[Couchkat]

Thank you for posting this. These pictures are a wonderful reminder of what we are waiting for!

I am also hoping for a slightly older child. We changed our original request from 0-12 mos to 0-3 years hoping to get a child closer in age to our first daughter.

From what you are saying, it's unligely we will be referred a toddler, but we shall see. We will be happy no matter what age our angel turns out to be.

[maureen3770]

Well, I am a first time (single) Mom, so I guess I do have some experience to share! I think that the biggest thing to be prepared for is a child that will likely have a deeper understanding of what is happening to them and therefore the opportunity for more adjustment problems. I wasn't sure how much, if anything, Olivia would be told about my coming and I didn't know how much she would be able to understand even if she had been told. A child of toddler age is old enough to be fearful of the unfamiliar and a compounding factor for Olivia is that she was in foster care her whole life. So, I prepared myself for a really difficult transition. As it turned out, she was clearly very well prepared for our meeting. She had my picture in her backpack and a pillow that I sent her with our picture together on it (I created it in Photoshop so it looks like we are actually together). I think that this helped at least a little and her foster family must have explained something to her. Both the photos and the pillow were worn/wrinkled so I know that she had them for a while.

Olivia's foster family took amazingly good care of her and she has no delays. I took her to the Dr. today for her initial visit and they were amazed by her. She is actually advanced in many areas, even by US standards. Definitely not what I was expecting.

I think there are so many factors that will affect how a child adjusts. The individual personalities of each child will definitely make a difference...probably the biggest one. Olivia is very very smart and quite outgoing and it was really clear that she knew who I was when we met. She was very scared and upset, but she let me hold her immediately and she accepted my comforting her. She let me change her pull up and her clothes within an hour of meeting. I wasn't planning on changing her clothes right away, but she needed a diaper change and okayed the new outfit that I had laying out. I have since learned that she is very particular about her clothes, so I guess I made a good choice that day!

I guess the bottom line is to be prepared for the worst and hope for something a little better. Don't only read adoption books, but also just general parenting of toddlers books. That will help you deal with whatever behaviours you may come across. Even though Olivia is doing really well, she is still fearful of going places and into offices that seem "official" to her (like the post office). I do my best to reassure her that it is okay and even though she is heavy I carry her a lot. I make sure to keep her close to me if I think that she will be frightened by a situation or a place that we're going. She needs to know that she is coming and going with me and that I'm not going to leave her with anyone. I used a hip carrier in China and made sure to use it if we were going somewhere I thought she might be frightened. I know that she doesn't understand yet that this is the last stop and we will be staying here forever. She is very quickly picking up English though so I will be able to explain more things to her over time. Adopting a toddler can be more of an adventure, but there are still a lot of "firsts" to be had with them. It has been fun so far and I'm sure that the fun will continue. She is a hilarious little girl...I just wish I could understand what she was saying! I will soon...

:-)

[Ready2bparents]

Congratulations on bringing home your beautiful daughter!

[specialk4b]

Maureen, congratulations and thanks for sharing your experiences. I love to hear peoples' stories. I think I will be better prepared for whatever may come because of people like you.

Welcome Olivia!!!

[robyncre]

Wow...Just checked out a bit of your blog...I will read it all tomorrow...getting sleepy! I just had to say congratulations...she is just as cute as a button! You must be absolutely over the moon! Have fun getting to know her and watching her just blossom!
Robyn

[Mak368]

She is absolutely beautiful! Congrats to you and thank you for sharing your story.

Michelle
LID 9/25/2006

[oleson1]

Congratulations!! She is absolutely adorable -- and she looks SO HAPPY! Best wishes to you both!