[mharoz]

Granted, we are so early on in the process (haven't even picked and agency AND my husband is not yet 30), but this was the topic of our long car ride from Ohio back to Chicago this weekend.

I will be going back to work, as will my husband, following the adoption. Any of you who are working and have adopted, how long did you wait to go back?

And how on earth do you pick a day care? (We do not have family close by to help out.) Is looking for a day care that is sensitive to the needs of an adopted child a good idea (or possible)? Would in-home care (nanny-esque) be a better option?

Thanks for any advice!

[Lissa]

There is an actual rating system. Daycares have to be state registered and must meet some requirements. I looked for one that exceeded those requirements in terms of teacher to student ratio etc. In addition I did call around to the ones that "made the cut" and discussed with them the fact that my daughter would be dealing with post institutional adjustments. The one we ultimately decided upon had programs where they could offer her some individualized attention and even physical and occupational therapies if needed. I also picked one that was sensitive to the fact that I was still attaching/bonding with Lydia. While Lydia has regular caretakers, they do rotate. She is not confused by who are the caretakers and who is the mommy.

Lydia started 6 weeks after she gotme. That's all the time my work would give me and all I could afford to take. I would have loved to have had more, but it just wasn't fiscally possible. After 2 weeks in China and one week exclusively with me she began one hour days and eventually we worked our way up to whole days by the end of the 6 weeks. Easing her in was really good. It helped her to learn mommy would come back and it helped me be away from her. (I cried for a hour in the parking lot the first day I left herWe've had Lydia over 10months now. She likes daycare very much and has some very good friends there. Most of them blonde boys (as different as you can get from what she knew in China...she loves the blonde boys much to her father's displeasure!) She has adjusted well and as I said earlier she is not confused about who is a caregiver and who is a mommy.

[hoping42nd]

Lissa,
Thanks so much for sharing how you've made daycare work well for your daughter. That has been a concern of mine as we set out on the road to our daughter - just started the home study process last night. I would love to stay home indefinitely, but I learned it's much tougher financially that I had expected before we had our 1st child several years ago. Here's hoping we can make it a good thing for our much-anticipated little one, too.

[jaenelle]

We're not adopting from China (this time, hopefully next time) but I get two weeks off. That INCLUDES any time we spend in the state where our baby is born on the pickup trip. The agency estimates 7-10 days for this. So I'll get to spend maybe 3-5 days at home before going back to work. I'll have to go to school part of the day even during those days. My DH can get up to 12 weeks off through FMLA I believe, so he will be the primary stay-at-home parent for that amount of time. This is one time it REALLY sucks to work for a small company -- no FMLA for me.

[pvnew]

Where do you find the ratings?