[lovemybulldog]

I vowed that I was done with this topic, but I couldn't help myself when I saw that it had gone on this long... I think there are a number of things we can all agree on:

1. Hannah #1 was probably not near death
2. Hannah #1 deserves a loving family
3. Hannah #1 is certainly not unadoptable, like some of you have claimed
4. Hannah #1 will get scooped up the second she is referred again OR put on a SN list.
5. What happened sucks for everyone...Including those who come to this board for information and find that all the energy is going to 1 arguement that has no winner

Hannah #1 will have an amazing story one day about the winding road that brought her to her forever family. Yes, there were some bumps and road blocks, but she will find the family that is meant for her. Can we forget for a minute about whether or not their decision was right and concentrate on the fact that we all are in this process to better our families? If the roles were reversed, you may have made a different decision...and will most likely chronicle it on this site and others....and there is probably someone out there who will disagree with something you wrote, did, etc. That's what makes us human, our differences.

I guess I don't understand why the rehashing over and over again. We get it that you don't agree. Do you HAVE to have the last word? Can we maybe move on to other topics?

My prayers go out to Hannah #1. I hope that her new family finds her very soon and that she grows up knowing that so many people cared about her.

[angelkisses0102]

We too would adopt Hannah in a heartbeat but know that is not possible anytime soon...if ever, based on the dynamics of Chinese adoption in situations such as these. It is not a simple process and it will take time, lots of time...and during that time, if this baby girl does not get the proper nutrition and stimualtion...she becomes less and less 'adoptable.' To the point of possibly not ever becoming available for adoption again. It is not a nice neat process where next month this baby girl gets to be referred to another family or gets the SN designation. And every day that slips by, this baby suffers more than any one of us can imagine.

I have been there...presented with child who was sick...who was the size of a US newborn at 7.5 months old...who was wearing 3/6 month clothes at 11 months old...who's little belly was so distended from malnutrition...who was so weak she would try to do simple things like laugh and coo and become completely and utterly exhausted. A baby who would gorge herself when she finaly got food...drink 8 to 10 8 ounce bottles per day...plus baby food...in those first months home...because she has known what it is like to be starving. Who simply wanted to be fed. Who had to learn what wearing a diaper felt like. Who was dying from a severe infection...who was much sicker than this little girl. Who just a few months after coming home was so happy and healthy...still tiny but fine.

Never, ever once did we think of leaving her behind in hopes that someone else would take care of her...what human would do that to another human? To just go and get the better, prettier, healthier, more haired model...and leave China as a 'happy family.' To refer to this child and her condition as a 'systems problem...not a problem of the family.' To say that it 'is not our fault that she was neglected and malnourished...not our fault she was developmentally delayed and failure to thrive...not our fault blah, blah, blah...not our fault...not our fault....' HUH? I am certain that it must have been that innocents childs fault and I'm sure she wishes she could apologize for wasting 4 of their precious days in China...

Heck most of us would be in an uproar if we saw a dog tied out with a 3 foot rope, with no toys, no shelter, not enough food or water...even if we ourselves couldn't take that dog in...wouldn't we do everything in our power to get him help? Or would we simply send him back to his owner and say....fatten him up, get him some toys and then maybe someone else can adopt him? That is what these people did. So, they can't handle of sick baby (she is in no way special needs in my opinion) but they discarded her like yesterday's newspaper. Anyway....

CoatAnnHat~
Can you please PM me with the contact info of the agency. DH and I are very interested in paying for foster care for this little girl...regardless of whether or not she becomes available for adoption...we just can't stop thinking of her and comparing her situation to our DD's. Thanks!!!!

[BrandyHagz]

Agency Discussion is still not allowed on the forums - in this case, discussing an agencies intent regarding this matter isn't allowed.

[mumofone]

I have read the blog, and I am so thoroughly disgusted by it. The way they speak of both children is beyond comprehension.

In reference to the sleeping habits of the new Hannah he called her a "spoiled foster care kid". That is disgraceful. I feel so sorry for all of the children, but especially for Hannah1. I would take her myself if I could, and I know many others would.

I cannot believe she teaches special needs children after what I have read on that blog.

God Bless you "Hannah".

[hirsh mom]

Originally Posted by looneytunes32

Just curious, how many of you have looked into adopting Hannah #1 yourself?

We did, but were told that at present, she would be put back into the NSN program, which meant we couldn't request her. I hope that she will be put back into the CCAA pipeline and adopted. Also hoping that the agency mentioned will be able to arrange foster care for her. I'd be willing to donate to getting her healthy again. Hannah #1 really touched my heart and I can't get her face out of my head.

[pgruodis]

angelkisses - I think you may be taking this a bit too far. It is obvious you have created a purely black & white issue, and go out of you way to belittle and mock the parents in question. I work with disabled children and see first hand that some parents are just not equipped for the care of them. We all have our limits, and when I eventually go to China, I hope the child that was referred to me is within mine. Like it or not, Hannah 1 was outside their limits...period. It is not as if they left empty-handed...they are taking home a child from an orphanage which they will raise and provide for, for the rest of their lives...and have already spent thousands of $$$ and time to do so...in my book, they are doing good. I can't believe the things I'm reading here...."what if it was their bio child?" - well she isn't...."this will cause trauma on the older child who witnessed this" - no it wont, I'm sure they will tell her Hannah 1 was just too sick to come with us...."it was their responsibility to follow through" - no it isn't, it the Chinese governments responsibility to care for her...as they do the other thousands. I find it outrageous that you basically say that these parents have sentenced Hannah 1 to death! They did not abandon her...she is not her bio or adopted child...they are not to welfare sys of China. Lets get real here.
Somehow you make it seem selfish and evil for parents to want a healthy child. Isn't that why China is as popular of a place to adopt from in the 1st place? You can't believe how many times I read that someone has adopted from E. Europe and later found their child to have many serious hidden problems...where do they adopt from next...China. Is this a selfish act also?
I am not saying the story is sad...as are the stories of the thousands of other children in orphanages that don't get adopted.

[oleson1]

What does it mean that she is "post institutionalized" (PI)? I am new to that term...

[pgruodis]

Originally Posted by oleson1

What does it mean that she is "post institutionalized" (PI)? I am new to that term...

And may I add to that question...do you find that out at the time of referral? ...and what % of children are in foster care vs. PI vs. Other

[SofiasMom]

defintion found on this forum:

Post-Institutionalized Child: Children adopted from institutional, hospital, or orphanage settings. The term is used to describe an array of emotional and psychological disturbances, developmental delays, learning disabilities, and/or medical problems resulting, in part, from their stay in institutions.

I don't think there are any statistics on how many children are in foster care vs. SWI's. It does cost more to be in foster care and there are several US non-profits that are funding foster care (Half the Sky comes to mind).

And here's a resource:

http://www.attach-china.org/

[kcpetty]

We brought our DD home last Sept at the age of 7.5 months old. She was put into foster care at the age of 4 days old and remained there until one month prior to our trip to China in Sept (as is common practice in China when children are in foster care - they tend to go back to the SWI in an effort to "acclimate" them to change for the adoptive parents who are coming.) With all that said, our DD had a host of medical ills - she was in and out of the hospital before we arrived and while we were in China. Both DH and I were asked for four days in a row if we "were happy" with our child and if we wanted another. As a matter of fact, any of you who followed our story may remember that on Metcha Day, we were a travel group of twelve families (all to be matched with one child) and thirteen children were brought into the Civil Affairs Office. I did not see the 13th child but my DH did. That 13th child was to be our DD's "replacement." (Please forgive the harshness of that word - I'm just telling the story in the best way I know how.) We made the choice to stick it out with our initially referred daughter as, to us, she was our daughter. It doesn't make us heroes or saints - it just means that's what our decision was. It was agonizing and it's still and always will be heartbreaking that that 13th child went back to the SWI while our daughter came with us. I will never know what came of her - it is my greatest hope that she was adopted but again, we will never know. I type all this to say that a fostered child doesn't necessarily guarantee a healthier child. Gwen (our DD) was treated for pneumonia in China, severe dehydration and at 7.5 months on the day we arrived back in the States, we left the airport and headed directly to the hospital where she was diagnosed with RSV (severe respiratory virus) and weighed in at an astonishing 8.2 pounds. Gwen has had some issues in the past nine months that she's been home with us but we are dealing with them head on. I tend to believe every family has issues of their own to deal with. I haven't read the blog in question but I did want to offer our first person perspective of the difficulties of a sickly child. Who, by the way, is thriving and growing more and more each and every day. For comparison's sake, I am posting two photos of Gwen (which I rarely do on a public site.) The first is of her in China, the second was taken a few days ago on a family trip. In my experience, time, love and pure grit and determination come overcome so very much.

Regards,
Karen

[plum93]

How can I read the blog?

[kcpetty]

Plum 93,

Will PM you.

~Karen

[Nichole98]

This little girls story has made my Dh and I so sad. She had the chance to thrive if given the chance...instead she was abbandoned again. I guess we just dont see this couple's point of view at all. My heart just breaks for this little girl. My husband repeatedly said he wished we could fly to China and bring her home last night. I so wish we could!!

[ShivaWolf]

Karen, your daughter is beautiful!!

I cannot comment on the blog.... I did read it and will be praying that Hannah will find her family soon.


I believe to some extent that certain things are meant to be (I love the red thread) and in saying that perhaps this thread and the other threads that have solicited debate and conversation regarding the health of China’s children waiting for their families will educate the adoptive parents, ignite knowledge that may bring funds to the foster and orphanage systems in place which may lead to more children receiving the care that they need that might have otherwise not have happened.
Another words a lot of good can happen because of this incident, as sad and controversial as it is.

It has brought about discussions between husband and wives that might have otherwise not have been broached. I know I have discussed these issues with my husband and certainly feel more informed because of the conversations that have taken place here.

Thank you to Lissa for starting this thread, which has opened my eyes a bit more to the conditions of some of daughters to be.

[mommyoftwo]

Karen...could you PM me the blog?