[Katia555]

I really need some advice. Five months ago, we brought our beatiful Chinese daughter home. She bonded to us very quickly. Perhaps some of you are familar with the BBC documentaty "The Dying Rooms." Our daugter's orphanage was in that documentary. As a result of the documentary, the orphanage was improved -- or so they say. We went to visit the orphanage but were not allowed to see the room where the children live. So we will never know the truth of how our daughter spent the fist year of her life. She is a bubbly and bright girl. She is what one would call "a survivor." The thing that concerns me is her obsession with food. It's as if she thinks there won't be enough food for her later on, and so she keeps eating and eating. At 18 monnths old, she weighs 28 pounds. I do my best to make sure she only eats healthy things. (No cheerios, banana cookies, white breads, sweets etc) I think she seeks comfort in eating, and I am not sure how to best help her to overcome that. Am I too concerned? Has anyone else experienced something similar?

[Lissa]

Lydia didn't overeat, but she did "hide" food. We'd find it behind her ears, in her diaper and even in her belly button. She's also "chipmonk" food stuffing her cheeks and then show us empty hands so we'd give her more.

I don't know if we did the recommended thing, but what we did worked which was give her whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. We always had food on us and we gave it to her generously. Once she learned there was always food available, the problem faded.

You also may want to talk to her ped. though before you try this. She may have a medical condition causing her to want to eat constantly. Our problem was obviously behavioural, but yours could possibly by physical.

Hope this helps, and let us know what happens!

[KDhappygal]

My best friends daughter (adopted from Russia) also ate a huge amount of food and would get very upset when meal time was over etc.

They talked with her doc, who was also an international adoption specialist. Doc said feed her as much as she wants because she probably had never learned what it felt like to be full and she needed to learn that feeling.

So they did. And she learned. And she stopped the gorging.

[sak9645]

Your child's food obsession is very common among internationally adopted children who may have experienced food shortages in their orphanage OR who may not have gotten their other needs met.

Some children simply demand more and more food at the table, till you think that they will burst. Some hoard food, to the point where families develop an ant problem from all the crackers and such hidden under the bed, in closets, etc.

The good news is that this is not a serious or lasting problem. At mealtimes, the child should be given as many helpings of food as she desires. There should be scheduled snacks of filling, nutritious items. Requests for additional food should be honored.

With older children, it sometimes helps if they are given a small cabinet of healthy snacks that is "theirs", to open as desired. This helps them see that there is plenty of food and that they have some control over access to it. Older kids also may find it comforting to help their parents shop for and prepare food, so they see that there is no shortage.

As KD Happygal's pediatrician indicated, there will come a time when a child develops an understanding of "hungry" and "full" feelings. There will also come a time when he/she feels confident that there will always be plenty to eat.

In addition, there will also come a time when a child will find that he/she no longer suffers from unmet non-food needs. Many institutionalized children get very little attention and affection. If they cry out, no one comes to hold them and reassure them. So they are "malnourished" emotionally, and not just physically. Sometimes, the child who eats and eats after adoption is trying to fill up the emotional void, not just the physical one. It may take many months of holding, cuddling, responding to cries in the night, etc. for the child to feel emotionally satisfied.

Now all of this presumes that your child has no physical problem causing the gorging. Some children MAY have parasites that rob the body of nutrients, for example, while others may have a metabolic disorder.

When you brought your child home, your child should have had a thorough workup by a doctor familiar with international adoption issues. This would have identified parasite issues in most cases, though some can be elusive. If such a workup wasn't done, by all means do it now.

If, after your child has been home a year, there has been no abatement of the gorging, you may want to have her evaluated by a respected, multidisciplinary feeding disorders program at a children's hospital. This evaluation would include testing for metabolic disorders, psychiatric issues, etc.

Sharon

[oleson1]

We have that same issue. Our daughter was in foster care, but I honestly don't believe that she has ever known what it is to be "full".

She eats CONSTANTLY, but we figure that with the adjustment, we will indulge her. As long as we are feeding her healthy foods (and the occasional not so healthy treat ), I don't worry about her overeating.

It is comforting to know, though, that we are not the only families that are dealing with this issue!

[mysty1972]

I just wanted to throw my two cents in. I have met an adoptive family where the daughter is overweight. She is from Korea. The overweight girl was always desperate for food, as I am told (she's now around 10-12). The mother, from my observations, is very controlling and I noticed her picking on her daughter's weight. (grrrrrr) I can't help but think that her mom restricted her food when she first came home and thus she continues to have food issues. It's sad because the girl seems starved for attention as well. She barely knew me when we met and latched on intensely right away. I'm sure the food-love connection is strong for her.

I think we'll have to make the extra effort to make sure our children know that food and love will always both be in good supply!

[Katia555]

Thanks so much for your replies -- they helped me. I see now that the best we can do is to simply honor ou daughter's requests for more food, even it it seems as if she eats a lot. Food has always been an issue for her. When we first brought her home, she was so frantic at the table, as if she thought she had to fight to get any food at all. She is a bit calmer now but still very focussed on eating. I am concerned about her weight, I have to admit. But maybe she will "level out" when she is a bit older and can tell when she is really hungry and when she is full. It helps to know we are not alone with this food issue....

[wanttobe]

This is really common. You will have to control how much you think she needs. Then have food like fruites on the table, sometimes even in their room helps. She may also hide the fruite around the house, just pick it up and say something like lets leave it here till we want to eat it later. Yes she is scared there wont be some later, and may feel she has to eat everything she sees. It will get better. Don't be suprised if she goes through the trash when you have told her that she is full. We have also used our hands on the tummy to show how it feels when it is full. She has probably never felt full before and doesn't know when she is, she just knows there is more so she must eat it. Many of the children had to eat everything before them So put ONLY what you want her to eat on her plate and nothing on the table except what is on everyone elses plate. Hope these things help. And Congrats!!
dana