[Renea_d]

I'm new to the group and wanted to introduce "us". I'm Renea DeGeorge and my husband Rod & I are currently adopting from China (LID 3/10/06). We are in the Reading, PA area and have a 3 yr old son. This is our first adoption & I have learned so much during this process! It's nice to have these message boards so you know you're not the only one going through this.
I also have a question/request for advice for anyone who can help. Since the wait times are increasing, we are thinking of changing our request for a child to ask for a 2 yr old toddler especially since my son is already 3. I want them to be relatively close in age as I think it will help them down the road.
My question is, has anyone had any experiences adopting a child from China at this age. I've heard adopting a toddler from China is different than other countries (a little easier transistion?) but I worry about the transistion that she'll make being 'older' and what we can expect from this. I think about my son at 2 & wonder how he would've done in the same situation so I am little nervous. I have no qualms about adopting a toddler, I was fortunate to go through (survive) the baby stage once so I would be just as pleased with a toddler the second time around. But I just want to make sure I am prepared (as much as possible ).
Information is very limited on this subject so if anyone could shed any light on this for me, I would appreciate it. Thanks a lot!

[CoatAnnHat]

I just read somewhere that someone else was going to ask for SN expedited for a 3 or 4 yr old and they were told that they just changed the rules and now they need to be 6 or over to be considered for expediting. I would check with your agency, this doesnt make sense to me!

[TaraL]

[quote=Renea_d]I'm new to the group and wanted to introduce "us". I'm Renea DeGeorge and my husband Rod & I are currently adopting from China (LID 3/10/06). We are in the Reading, PA area

Hi Renea: I'm from Schuylkill County so we are almost neighbors. Have you joined the FCC group in Berk's county? We belong to that group because there isn't one in Schuylkill County. If you need any help with anything please let me know. We are home with our daughter a year and a half now and she is 2 1/2.

[Shelley]

Check into adopting a waiting child. SOmetimes they are waiting because they are 2 or 3 yrs. SOmetimes for something as little as an extra finger or toe. Run a yahoo search on China toddler adoption, there are at least 2 or 3 that I know of, can't remember the addresses. Also look into the yahoo group waiting children china, again run a search and it should come up. Lots of people adopt 2 yo olds and they do very well. I just returned home in Jan with our newly adopted 4 yo daughter and 6th child. Goodluck, SHelley

[morsedonna]

Sorry Rene, this is my first adoption (and 1st child)so I don't have any answers. Just wanted to say welcome to the group.

[thundrrds]

There is a yahoo board for families who adopt toddlers from China. That could be a good starting point.

Our 1st daughter was 19 months at time of adoption. There are as with anything pros and cons to adopting toddlers or 'older children'. Much depends on how the child was raised:foster care VS orphanage, the health of the child, stimulation in the environment etc.
Language acquistion can be quick or the child could wind up needing some services to 'catch up'.
Most children will 'catch up' fairly quickly with any motor skill delays and language.

One can request a child who's 2-3 years of age and go thru the regular adoption program; not the special needs route.

Good luck. There are alot of resources out there online as well as books one can read about adopting toddlers.

Joanne

[annej]

Hello, My name is Anne and I have adopted a little girl from China. She was two when we came home. There was no problem at all with bonding or anything. She was from my agencies waiting child list.. It actually was a fun age to bring a child home. I am going back hopefully in the next three months to bring home another child, a two year old boy from China. They will be one year almost exactly apart. Should be fun.. They also have a big sister who is five who was adopted from China at 9 months old.
Anne J

[Sarah143]

This is our first time adopting...but I have finished reading a great book called Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best. It was full of good information. Good luck!

[looneytunes32]

Hi! Welcome!

Sorry, this is our first time adopting so I can't help you...I was going to suggest a book that someone else already suggested.

[starsnstripes1]

It is quite amazing to see the world from the eyes of a toddler. We adopted our 4 yr old son in February. Everything we did was new and exciting to him.... eating in restaurants, flying, trains, buses. He takes an overwhelming delight in EVERYTHING because he had very little for those first 4 years.

Adopting a baby is special - but for me it will always be only older children. I rarely think about what we missed with him because every moment is such a delight. Everything is a "first" for him, and he's old enough to express his happiness and sheer joy in these experiences.

We bought him a discman yesterday and danced silly disco in his room before bed. His laughter came up from the bottom of his toes before it exploded out. He looks at me like "mom you're crazy, but I love you!"

[bulldurham512]

I have a toddler from China . I adopted her 7/13/2005 she was 19 months [ born 12/1/2003] my whole group got toddlers ! each toddler seemed to adjust differently . The are several good books on toddler adjustment the attaching is different with a toddler then a baby . Check for books on attachment first . Debra Grey has written several
which most of my group found helpful.

[KarenInCa]

Hi Renea,
We asked specifically for a child 18-28 months. At referral, our daughter was 14 months (almost 15), and when we traveled, she was 17 months.
This was not 2 yrs, but I can tell you that I would request this age group again in a heart beat for several reasons.
First, if there are going to be any health related issues, it seems apparent that most of these would be found by the time the child is an older toddler.
Second, they come with "cute as a button" already sprinkled all over them.
Third, because of the efficiency of the orphanage staff, older toddlers seem to be already trained in several things that are so frustrating and time consuming usually. Our daughter will take naps easily, she will entertain herself when needed, she falls into routine easily. For the most part, we had to decide what we wanted to keep and what we wanted to un-train in her based on what we felt she still needed for bonding purposes. We were not sure if she was no longer on a bottle, but we started a bottle for naps and bedtime anyway. For naps she lays down on her own in her crib, but for bed time, we rock her and sing to her, and she LOVES it.
One thing that we did need to do, was get her to bond with both of us, myself and DH. We think because she was almost 17 months old, she was unfamilar with having more than one caretaker, so she bonded with DH first. But he incorporated me in some of their games (she made him clap, and while she did that, I stuck my hand in the middle and took it out fast), and we were bonded equally as her caregivers within a few days.
We adopted her on March 21st, so it's only been a couple of months, but she is really starting to show herself. You can see more of our daughter, gotcha day and her progress on her blog.