[sethsmommy]

What do you all think or what would you do if you were us.

We will be starting the paperchase very soon and have already given money to our agency to start the process in China. I am beginning to wonder if we should involve ourselves in a process that is getting a little complicated. I really understand that this is the nature of international adoption but as you can imagine, I am waivering on whether to jump in. Dh wants to continue forward and he thinks ( although he has not really followed the latest) everything will speed up and he believes the process IS the most reliable.

I know you guys can't know the future. I just needed to post my thoughts. It is a bummer for all of us.

[cooperbabe]

Since we can't fortell the future I guess the best advice is to listen to your heart. If you're of the mindset that you want a child regardless of where he/she comes from, you may want to work with an agency that deals with multiple countries so in case something did happen with China, you may be able to move your focus to a different country. I don't know all the ins and outs of how to do that but I'm sure someone else here does

If you're like me and you're deadset on China, you may want to deal with the agency of your choice, even if they are China only.

[drmalcolm]

Hang in there, sethsmommy! First and foremost, think of this as a given: you are going to make wonderful parents to a child who needs you one way or the other.

As for where that child comes from... go with what your heart and gut are telling you in this matter. With this decision and its emotional ties, I think you really need to choose in a way that is not going to make you beat yourself up over the decision later on. As an potential adoptive parent, you have enough stress and frustration involved with this process--you don't need to be mad at yourself on top of it.

Since I'm not sure what made you all decide on China, let me just use my family as an example: we could afford China, we trust China and the process, we have a support group in the way of Asian friends who make us feel comfortable with our future daughter's background, and we feel there is a need in that country for loving families.

Now, even though the wait is awful, here's my thing--if my husband and I back out now and go with another country that doesn't feel as right for us and then there are problems with that country OR if China speeds up again, I'm going to regret my decision to change. So for my family personally, we're going to stick with China unless we are told that we can't go through with it. Now, of course, that is just us--you may not feel as sure of China and may be more drawn to another country. But do you know what I mean about having to be comfortable with the consequences?

I wish you the best of luck! Really really talk this one out with your husband, for you are both going to need to be on the same page in a decision this big--and it's easier to support each other that way, too.

Christina

[sethsmommy]

Originally Posted by drmalcolm

we could afford China, we trust China and the process, we have a support group in the way of Asian friends who make us feel comfortable with our future daughter's background, and we feel there is a need in that country for loving families.

That is why we chose China too. I kind of think I am like the person driving down a crowded freeway and I am trying to decide whether to switch into another lane. Although, one always knows that the minute you switch, the other lane gets faster...lol I guess that is how I feel.

The only process that tempts me away is domestic with a facilitator. Although, dh and I have discussed this and the cons outweigh the cons in China.

Thanks for you comments!!

Dh said we can send off the I600A today so I think we will just dive in.

[cooperbabe]

Originally Posted by sethsmommy

Dh said we can send off the I600A today so I think we will just dive in.

Good for you!

I think the whole process is a giant leap of faith.....you have to feel comfy with what you're doing and then go for it!

Best of luck to you on your journey!