[specialk4b]

What have been the reactions of your family to your decision to adopt from China? Ours range from total support to "why do you need to buy a baby from China?" And everything in between.

The articles they gave us to prepare for this talk about the decision to become a multi-national family. I guess we're making this decision for the whole family, not just those in our house!

[waitingforMM]

My mom has been completely supportive from the very beginning. She was thrilled the moment we told her we were adopting and she never once questioned our choice of countries. She's become obsessed with little Chinese girls now. She's a very proud grandma to be. Just like me, she's telling everyone she knows and she can't wait for that first picture of her to show off.

My dad, on the other hand, was his usual non-supportive self. We held off on telling him until after we were DTC because we didn't know what his reaction would be and we didn't want him adding to our stress during the paperchase. His first question, of course, was "why China?". We told him it was because that's where our daughter is. After he processed that his next issue was that we have to make sure she's tested for HIV because HIV is rampant in China. I don't know where he got that idea but we assured him that she will be tested. Then, his final question was to ask if this meant that we weren't going to try again to have "one of our own." We told him that if we're able to have a biological child at some point that would be great but it wouldn't change our adoption plans. I think he's finally processed everything and accepts that his granddaughter is going to be from China. It just takes him awhile to come around and accept anything that's different. I'm sure once he sees her for the first time he'll fall completely in love with her.
My in-laws are all very excited but they, too, keep telling us that now that we're adopting we'll be able to relax and I'll get pregnant. I know they mean well but I'm getting tired of that comment. We didn't choose adoption thinking that will cause me to suddenly be pregnant. We're adopting because we have a daughter in China waiting for us to bring her home.

[Trace7]

My parents have been supportive since day one, as have our in-laws. I think at first my dad thought we were giving up on TTC too soon (after trying for 1.5 years and testing and doing one IUI - my DH and I had been through enough of that and knew that we wanted to adopt). My DH and I had always talked about adopting, and my Mom had often talked about wanting to adopt from Korea when I was younger, so I think that was when the seed was planted for me originally.

Anyways, we have a very multi-cultural family already (brother-in-law is half-Lebanese, my DH is 1/4 Aleutian Indian, my sister-in-law is Japanese which makes my niece half-Japanese) plus my brother and his family live in Hong Kong - so our baby being from China is just a natural addition for us. My family is all so excited and happy for us!!

[oleson1]

Originally Posted by b&k898

"why do you need to buy a baby from China?"

I got the same thing from my mother. She wanted to know why we weren't happy with our family as it was and why, "With everything going on in the world, would we have to go that far away to get a baby????"

The process takes long enough, that now she is our biggest supporter. Jasmine is already totally spoiled like my 2 boys are.

[prechrswife]

Thankfully, my parents and my in-laws have all been very supportive of our decision to adopt. They are all looking forward to the arrival of their new granddaughter.

[SRamsey]

My parents and family have been very supportive since day one. We knew that they would be. We were nervous about telling my in-laws because we didn't know what the reaction would be, especially from my father-in-law.

Needless to say they were so much more supportive than we could have hoped for. It was a wonderful experience. We told everyone on Thanksgiving, so that will always be a Thanksgiving to remember.

[twoinblue]

Both sets of our parents reacted with confusion which I believe is totally natural. The idea of traveling around the world to adopt a child seemed pretty extreme to my folks. We told them on the phone but I could almost see their dubious expressions thinking, "There she goes again. She can't do anything in life the normal way."


Once they learned more about it they were happy. Now everyone is impatiently waiting for us to get her.

[Adam3170]

We have been very lucky, first my family is multi-racial to begin with with both asian and hispanic intermarraige. My wife comes from a large, warm, open family. Both our our families have been great and can't wait for our little girl to come home.

[specialk4b]

Originally Posted by twoinblue

Both sets of our parents reacted with confusion which I believe is totally natural. The idea of traveling around the world to adopt a child seemed pretty extreme to my folks. We told them on the phone but I could almost see their dubious expressions thinking, "There she goes again. She can't do anything in life the normal way."


Once they learned more about it they were happy. Now everyone is impatiently waiting for us to get her.

LOL - That's the exact expression I imagined on my dad's face!

Karen

[CoatAnnHat]

We had negative responses from everyone on my DH's side, from family and friends. They are not kid friendly people, none of them have more than one child and most have none.. This will be baby #4 for us, and they just dont get it. My side of the family are very accepting of the idea, i think cuz they have heard me talk about Chinese adoption for the past 14 yrs! They have said "WHY do you want another child, you already have three?" but it was not said sarcastically or with ill intentions. My answer was, I just do and that was enough to satisfy them. My DH and I have only been married 1.5 yrs and together for 4yr. He has one daughter from a previous marriage (whom I adopted last year) and I have two sons from a previous marriage.)

[roseofchina]

Both sets of grandparents were thrilled for us...I"m very happy to say. Our daughter is the youngest grandchild on either side so she is quite spoiled but they love this child to death! There is a history of birth defects in my family and right around the time we started paperchasing, a dear friend lost her daugher at the tender age of 3 weeks. My mother told me later that she was actually relieved that I didn't get pregnant! My mom is the ultimate "worrier" so is my dear MIL. We were a little concerned about aunts and uncles on my DH's side. They tend to make racial comments sometimes...but the 2 "great" uncles we were most concerned about adore Whitley and have never said anything negative toward her or about her. In fact, when Whitley says her prayers at night, she always says: "God bless Uncle James and his cows and Uncle Charles, who's already in heaven." (He died from cancer in December.)

Sharon
dh - David
dd - Whitley Rose Hui

[kelleymac]

We adopted our first from Guatemala and are now looking into China for our second child.

My dad was the only one who expressed reservations when we first talked about international adoption. His only knowledge of it was from television shows talking about the horrific conditions in some orphanages and some of the health and developmental issues that can come from adopting internationally.

Once we talked through those issues and helped him to understand that they really were not an issue with Guatemala (foster care and adoption of an infant) he was totally on board.

When we mentioned China, both my folks lit up like Christmas trees. We haven't told Mike's folks yet because we're still in the researching agencies phase. I know my dad doesn't share the same concerns about China that he did about other countries. His knowledge of adoption there is that children are well cared for, and in orphanages that give them as much as possible while they wait for families.

We've been so lucky in how our parents reacted, and to a person they spoil our son absolutely rotten. He adores his Nana and Papa and Oma and Opa, and I know a little girl will fare exactly the same way!

Kelley

[Serena1000]

My immediate family has been great. My SIL is Chinese so I never got the "why China" question. Plu,s I've been talking about it for years so everyone was prepared.

My mother told her brother and sister over Christmas and I haven't heard a word from them, including her sister who I saw at Christmas. In fact, my niece started talking about names for my baby right in front of her and she just gave me this thin little smile. Which was really weird. I don't really care because I'm not close to them, and for all I know my Mom told them it was a secret and they're pretending they don't know.

[CkJR4ever]

Hi! everyone Jason and I have been home for three months now and alot of reactions are like the ones we had during the whole process and even now. My parents were so supportive of the idea of international adoption especailly china. They even took a loan out and gave us the money as a gift for their grandaughter. And we have the dh's family my mother in law never ask how we were affording this and never called during the process. Now her grandaughter Ashley has been home for 3 months and she has only seen her twice.
At this point in our lives my dh and myself figure if she doe not want to see Ashley it is her lost. It does stink that my dad never met is grand daughter my dad got really sick last march and passed march 17, It will be a year tomorrow. I know he is looking down at her, Ashley reminds alot of him the way she smiles all the time . the dh and I found alot of friends on internet and support in town which attend meetings once a month. Ashley is great child. We got her at 13 months old and now she is 17 monthsold. She talks, up a storm. And runs like crazy. And she eats everything i make. sometimes friends are better than family for support. Good to luck to all !

Colleen ring
woodbridge nj
http://ashleyrose9104.blogspot.com/

[maureen3770]

Originally Posted by b&k898

LOL - That's the exact expression I imagined on my dad's face!

Karen

My Parents will be doing the exact same thing when I tell them! I'm not going to tell them until I am DTC...no need for them to worry for longer than necessary. (My Dad is a world class worrier!)

I know that I'll be okay adopting as a single, but he still thinks of me as his little girl.

Maureen