[waitingforMM]

For those who are still waiting, do you ever feel like it's never going to happen? Most days I feel frustrated by the uncertain referral wait but I believe that it will eventually happen and we will be matched with a precious little girl. Then I'll read an article about another case of bird flu or children being kidnapped and sold and I feel terrified and I have this terrible fear that something is going to happen and the adoption program will be shut down. It's such an emotional roller coaster. Am I the only one who has these fears?

[Paul&Dee]

I refuse to read any negative things on line or in the news
I'm in my happy place and I'm staying there
I used to read everything and get upset
just to find out it was for nothing
so no more of that
Paul

[foxl]

Only all the time ... till ... it DOES!

Hang in there. It really does.

[arolloseco]

I am completely worried it won't happen. I haven't really gotten anything ready for the baby (nursery, etc.). My mom knit the CUTEST sweater and I keep thinking that at least my sister is pregnant with a girl, so the sweater will definitely get worn. I can't shake the feeling at all. Maybe when referrals start speeding up I'll start believing it? I just try to keep super busy with work and school!

[mysty1972]

I feel your pain!! We aren't even DTC yet. I worry about everything though and never believe things will happen for sure until they really do. But I think it is perfectly natural to feel this way and don't take too much stock in my fears. It'll all work out in the end and one day we'll forget we ever had to wait so long. :-)

Hang in there!

[stephdpenn]

I so know what you mean. I have this fear that the whole China program will shut down before we have our dd. I also fear that something might happen to our finances to where we wouldn't be able to afford the rest of the cost.

And now I have a new, don't know whether to call it a fear or doubt. My youngest is sick with something he used to only get when his immune system was a mess. For the past 2 days and nights I have done nothing but worry if we are doing the right thing by adopting. Don't misunderstand me I very much want to adopt a daughter, I am just afraid that if Marcus starts getting sick again then I can't handle all of it. I mean he used to be sick ALL the time and was in the hospital on average at least twice a month.
I am just having a bad week

[Nichole98]

I think about it all the time. My biggest fear is the program shutting down. Having gone through IF for 7 years with no positive result it's sometimes hard to be positive. When nothing has been easy or gone in the right direction for so long it's hard for me to think this process will progress without problems. I guess I will believe it when I get Ava home!!

[MBA62]

Originally Posted by mysty1972

I feel your pain!! We aren't even DTC yet. I worry about everything though and never believe things will happen for sure until they really do. But I think it is perfectly natural to feel this way and don't take too much stock in my fears. It'll all work out in the end and one day we'll forget we ever had to wait so long. :-)

Hang in there!

Having been in your shoes, I know exactly how you feel. The paperchase can be frustrating as no one else feels your sense of urgency when getting it all together . Then the referral wait comes. Believe me, that magical day does arrive. It will two years next week since we applied to our agency and our daughter has been home 7 months. Stay in your happy places and try not to worry. I can't wait to hear everyone's happy news.

[Trace7]

I know it will happen. I can't wait until I can look back on this wait as a drop in the bucket!

[Emmaline Lola]

Yes, I have similar anxieties about our adoption. But I had similar anxieties when I was pregnant with my now 14 month old daughter. I would be so scared if I had a certain pain or ache, and I am kind of starting to feel the same way with my "China Pregnancy".

We are almost DTC, this is day 8 of critical review and I am a wreck just waiting! I feel like it's been 8 days since I ovulated, and I have to wait 7 more business days to take a pregnancy test! I know the referral wait is going to be much longer!! I am praying that God will teach me patience!

The Washington Post article threw me for a loop this past weekend. I just felt sick, and my DH and I wondered if this is truly what we should be doing to add to our family, SCARY--but I know God has put us on this path, because our 2nd daughter is waiting for us in China!

This WILL happen for all of us! It's just nice to know all of you feel the same way and that we are here to support each other!

Go to your happy places friends and STAY THERE until you receive your referral!!!

Catherine

[Teekay74]

At least we all have eachother! Cuz- I often feel that way too. It's scary. Because we don't have dr's appointments every month, a growing bell, morning sickness, and all that other fun stuff, we have no reassurance. But we do have eachother. People who understand, cuz they are right here doing the same thing! Thanks everyone! We should just be a positive together, and try to enjoy the wait(as much as possible) in our own little world.

[Marshie]

I go through a LOT of days where it just doesn't feel real. It feels like I'm doing a ton of work to complete an adoption but it does not feel like they are REALLY going to let me have Mia at the end of it. I have her room started, her little things in my suitcase, clothes in her closet and even some toys for her but it doesn't feel real that she'll be here -in my house- to use them. Its almost like its too good to be true that they'd actually let us take that beautiful amazing child home and let her be our daughter forever.

[mjy]

Yes! And you know what ? We have every right to be anxious, depressed, and upset. It's not like we're on hold to have a new couch delivered to our house. We're adding a CHILD to our family. From another country! That's HUGE. And anyone who minimizes it can just bite me.

I'm sick of hearing, "Don't worry, you'll get the daughter that was meant to be yours."

It ranks up there with the infertility comments of, "Just relax, and you'll get pregnant."

Don't worry? Don't worry? Seriously, you have to be kidding me with that crap.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I KNOW THAT I will be matched with the daughter that is meant to be mine. We all KNOW THAT. That's a given. We're not questioning fate or religion or what is meant to be.

We're just saying that this process can really test patience and fry the nerves. Sometimes you just need to vent and get it all out. How could you not be nervous or worried or anxious or have a million questions. That's just a part of this crazy process.

Yeah, I worry all the time. When we applied, the wait was six months. Just as soon as we were LID, the slowdown happened. OOOH lucky us.

Bitter? You betcha.

Does that mean I'm not psyched to be doing this? I'm thrilled! I'm just peeved that it's taking longer than usual. I've loved that little girl since we first called the agency and asked for information.

How could I not be freaked out when the one I love is just within reach, but yet .. not within reach.. but maybe within reach... but when will she be in reach???? AHHH maddening.

Yeah, we're entitled to our angst. And then some.

[AmyDenise]

Everyone's in the same boat! It's great to have support and know there are others who are worrying and waiting too.

Our LID is June 15, 2005. We keep wondering if we'll be in the next batch of referrals, but we're not holding our breath. It just doesn't seem like it'll ever happen. When we first started out with the process we thought we'd be to China and back by February. It's now the middle of March and we haven't even gotten a referral yet. I just called our agency (the first time I've called, don't want to be pesty!) and they said we have less than a 50% chance of being in the next group of referrals. Great! More waiting! Not much anyone can do but wait. Do I sound depressed? Yeah, I'm getting there.

Best Wishes to everyone! May things start speeding up soon!

Amy

[Momof2boysinOH]

Originally Posted by Emmaline Lola

I had similar anxieties when I was pregnant with my now 14 month old daughter. I would be so scared if I had a certain pain or ache, and I am kind of starting to feel the same way with my "China Pregnancy".

Catherine

Ditto what Catherine said. Because of my history of miscarriages, I worried constantly when I was pregnant with my sons. I even rented a doppler to give me some reassurance. I've been nervous all along with the adoption paperwork, but I have faith that our daughter will come home to us in due time. I'm more nervous about my dh traveling to get her and the adjustment after she gets home.