[waitingforMM]

Can anyone explain to me the difference between a scrapbook and a lifebook? I plan to put together a scrapbook of our trip to China to bring our daughter home. I'm planning to begin with her referral photo and anything else the agency gives us about her. I've heard that a lifebook is very different than a scrapbook but I don't know exactly what the difference is. Someone bought me Our Chosen Child for Christmas. Is that considered a lifebook? I'm confused.

[Marshie]

A scrapbook generally has fun pictures and mementos from all the fun times in life and important days you want to remember. You might make a scrapbook of your journey to China or your child's first year home and decorate it with cute paper and stickers.

A lifebook is a personal account of your child's life and history. It includes the good and bad, the hard truths and the facts (as few as there are in china adoptions). You would address abandonment, adoption, birthparents, orphanages or foster care, the possibility of siblings, any special needs your child might have, about their city and province, about china, and any and all information given to you about your child. The lifebook is not about your adoption journey or your trip to China or how much you wanted a child. Its about your child and your child alone. It should be age appropriate, meaning you might have to make several of these as your child grows and it is okay for your child to help you. You might also want to make a shareable one that your child can take to show and tell or show her friends that has less "cold hard truths" and then make a private one for your child's eyes alone that addresses more sensitive material.
Scrapbooks are fun. Lifebooks may be the most difficult thing you've ever had to write. I'm making Mia one and I keep having to stop and start because it really is hard to put that kind of stuff into writing that I know she'll read.

[waitingforMM]

Marsha - Thanks for the info. That definitely helps. Is there a book that you fill in or do you create it yourself?

Thanks.

[Marshie]

You can buy a book that gives advice on what to put in them, but its really a work from the heart that you put together yourself. There are adoption "baby book" type books that you can fill in, but they aren't the same as this will be your daughters personal life story.

[odi]

I just heard about a yahoo group that starts every Jan and works through the life book together. I am not sure the exact name but if you go to Yahoo groups and put in lifebooks I am sure you would get help.
The lifebook is your childs story which begins while they are in China but it dosen't have to all be about their loss but should include it. It is about telling them their story with all the details that are age appropriate so that they are always comfortable with it. It is a place to have conversations jump from and a place to "front load" for more difficult times ahead. I am making a small one (small so that my 2+ year old can carry it with her). Latter I will make a larger one for her pre and teen years. Lillys starts with her Chinese and American names, her earliest pictures and the title "this is your story". I have pages for her birth parents (the hardest by far since I have no info) and about the orphanage.....I am using simple language and copies of the papers like her adoption decree, birth certificate, and certificate of citizenship. Always use copies so that they can be replaced if damage occurs. I have choosen not to use her abadonment certifcate until she is over 8 or so. I do talk about her veing placed in a place to be found but I don't want the abandoned word yet. Each book is going to be differant. There are some great books to help.
Diana

[stephdpenn]

I have bought a Lifebook that you can add extra pages to it. So I am filling out the preprinted pages of the Lifebook then adding personal scrapebooking pages to it. It was a way to combine the two.

Stephanie

[journeytograce]

This Saturday, Feb.11th, there is a Beth O'Malley workshop in Atlanta if anyone is interested. I found the info on the FCC Atlanta website: http://www.fccatlanta.com/events.asp
It is a 3 hour morning or afternoon workshop. Think I may try and go, as the first time I heard of a lifebook was a few months ago.
Question for people who have already made one for their child. Did you always include her abandonment information? My concern is wanting to keep that private, for her to decide who she shares it with. And if it was in a book, wouldn't that make it difficult to do?
Just wondering about people who have made one, and wanted to keep the finding info private - how do you do that?
Thanks,