[journeytograce]

Wondering if anyone would mind sharing how they felt the moment your child was handed to you? I get so emotional watching others videos, cannot imagine how it will feel when they hand Grace to me for the first time. Just wondering what you were feeling in the room waiting, when you held your child for the first time, and what those beginning moments were like.

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi Stephanie,

I looked back at my journals and I took different entries. My husband and father-in-law traveled to China. So the first part is my listening to them meeting Lilianna for the first time over the phone

"The babies were brought into the Lottery hotel meeting room one at a time. Lilianna was the fourth baby brought in. Our daughter has great breath support. I could hear her loud and strong even before she was in the room!!! The nannies passed her to Bill and I could hear them saying "Ba-ba!” which is Chinese for dad. Lilianna cried hysterically. While Bill has had very limited experience in caring for babies, I could tell that in the midst of all that chaos his daddy instincts kicked right in. Bill did a fantastic job holding, talking, and soothing her. For Bill, it was love at first sight. For Lilianna, the feelings weren’t mutual. Apparently, she was so stressed out at being handed over to Bill that she arched her little back and kicked him in the belly. We ended our phone call as all the families were boarding the bus back to the Majestic Hotel. The roar of the ten little girls crying was deafening and I knew that the new families were in for one heck of a bus ride.


When I called Bill a mere 2 hours later, I was preparing to offer him emotional support. I was absolutely sure she would still be crying. To my amazement, I called the room and it was wonderfully calm. Lilianna was happily chattering and playing in the background. While we were ending our conversation, a touching little moment took place between father and daughter. Bill was sitting on the floor next to our daughter and offered her an animal cracker. After she happily ate it, she turned to him and hugged his leg. She didn’t let go and put her head on his lap started to drift off to sleep. Bill was moved and I could tell he had tears. It was a wonderful image to have in my mind back here in Ohio."



Then 14 days later, I got to meet my family in the airport. Here is my journal from that day.
"Our original plan was to meet at 4p.m. on the 19th. Unfortunately, due to plane delays, missed connections and an extremely uncooperative airline, the big moment wasn’t until 12:05 a.m. on the 20th. It was a stressful day for those traveling and those waiting. However, nothing could have diminished the joy of the moment. The whole family was there waiting to meet Lilianna. I can’t put into words what it was like to see my husband, father in law and daughter walking towards us. It is truly a moment that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. We are also quite amused that November 20th is officially National Adoption Day!

Lilianna is a wonderful baby. For those who know me, I’m a natural born worrier. I had been full of the “what if’s” for several week. What if Lilianna has a terrible transition, what if she rejects me, what if she is sick, what if she shuts down from all the changes etc. It’s very amazing to realize that in a matter of minutes, all those fears melted away. She is a very affection, alert, sweet and interactive baby. I approached her very cautiously and offered her some cheerios and a rattle. (I’m absolutely not above bribery.) Initially she pushed them away and clung to Bill. Of course I understood and backed off. Well, in a mater of minutes she was smiling, holding my hand and playing with my bracelet. By the time we got down to the luggage claim, she willingly went into my arms and I held her all the way to the car. What a feeling that was"


That's probably way more information than you wanted. I had fun taking a walk down memory lane.

Take care,

[journeytograce]

Oh Melissa, what a wonderfully sweet story of how you all met your daughter! Were you able to see pictures and/or video right away? How were those two weeks until you could finally hold her? My DH will be in the same situation as I think only I will be traveling to bring Grace home.
Thank you so much for sharing.

[kellykamp2004]

Well, I visited my daughter Marissa in Guatemala before the adoption was final...so our first meeting was 2 mos before I returned to bring her home forever...and I wont share the story of when I had to leave her in Guatemala ...

But...I remember being in the hotel room waiting for the call that she had arrived at the hotel. I had gone on the visit alone and so I was standing in the hotel room thinking "What the heck am I doing alone in a foreign country waiting to meet some baby who has no idea who I am?????"...it had been awhile since I had cared for a young infant (she was 4 mos at the time) and I was very nervous. She was with a foster mommy and I was so scared about meeting the foster mom and taking her from her.

Anyway, the call finally came and I was to meet them in the hotel meeting room..I walked in and there she was in her foster mommy's arms. SHe was SO tiny!!!! And so beautiful she took my breath away. The foster mommy handed her right over and I got her to smile at me (my heart melted)...she had on one of the outfits I had sent to her in her care package. I will never forget the way she looked that day, so tiny and beautiful...

The rest of the visit was hard. Foster mom cried when she left the hotel, and then I had her for 5 days in the hotel. She got sick on day 2 and we had some rough days. I had to take her to a doctor in Guatemala on her last day with me, and then I had to give her back because the visit was over.

2 mos later though (2 very loooong months later) we returned to Guatemala to pick her up and my happiest memories of that were my oldest daughter making her cackle and laugh as she jumped up and down. The first pictures of my oldest daughter holding her too...oh my gosh, melts my heart.

I cant wait to be able to write my China adoption story next.

[foxl]

My story of meeting Tuhina in India is under the thread, "what does she look like .." She was older than most Chinese girls coming home, so it might be a little different.

It is always wonderful, no matter what!

[Lissa]

The title line is a very very short video of our "gotcha" moment in case anyone wants to view. Hubby has promised me a video from Red Thread Diaries or a similar type place...but that is still way to come.

As for how Gotcha went...it was an incredible day for us and we had the whole day off...so I can only imagine how it was for the rest of our group. They had an incredibly long day having left Beijing that same morning at 4 am and travelled hours to get to Nanning.

Our day started with a trip to the Nanning Wal-mart to buy Liddy a toy...because I decided she needed a Gotcha day gift. (Forget all reason here...We brought toys...but they weren't "Gotcha Day gifts" so they wouldn't do. Ultimately I had a ton of adrenaline pouring through me and nothing to do...shopping was something to do to fill the time!! )

In the afternoon we had TONS of paperwork to fill out and everything had to be signed and stamped in our fingerprints. (Red ink everywhere!) It was a pretty emotional process even dealing with the paperwork because there was a picture of Lydia on the forms from when she was 4 months old. After 3 months of the same 3 pictures it was like a breath of fresh air to see her...and to see her soooo young. Incredible.

When we got to where we would receive the babies a portion of our group did a prayer and then we were up the elevators to the 4rth floor. (Note about elevators in China...the doors close FAST and HARD---be on guard!!) They told us we had to present out TA's to confirm we had the correct baby. (We got them back) Once we all got in "the room" we were asked to put our gifts for the Director and Nanny in 2 piles and we were told they would be sorted out later. (So Liddy's Nanny probably did not get the gift we brought to her specifically.) We were then all lined up against the wall on one side of the room to wait.
The SWI officials and the government official then entered the room and the government official stood at the podium and made a speech. That was the hardest part of the whole day...we could hear the babies crying in the next room and the speech, while it lasted under 3 minutes, was the longest speech I've ever heard in my life.

When the babies were brought in they were carried single file and lined up against the other side of the room. Lydia was the second baby brought in. All the babies wore a ceremonial garment and (except for their socks) looked identical. Some of the Nannies looked very happy and were excited to be a part of the process..some were lightly crying and you could tell they all cared about the children. We were then called up one at a time and the Nanny would meet you in the center of the room where you would present your TA and then take your baby back to the other side. When Madeline was presented to Michelle (the first of us) the flashbulbs were blinding. It was an amazing moment...all Michelle could manage to say was..."You're much lighter than I thought you would be." And then she was off to bring the baby to her hubby Robert and the chaos really began as the babies began to cry as each one was delivered to their new Mommy and Daddy.
When our name was called...I went and handed my TA over. I just looked at Lydia for a second to make eye contact and I totally expected her to wail!! I took her and my first words to her were "I know, you don't know me." I was surprised at how heavy she was, and I was immediately concerened about the fact her head was so incredibly flat. I actually wanted her to cry, to react....but she was zombie baby big timewhich scared me even more.
The room was incredibly hot and uncomfortable and the babies were all sweating, hot and extremely hungry. I really don't remember too much about anything else during the gotcha process other than patting her head and worrying. Once all the babies were distributed we were suppossed to line up and take turns to talk with an interpreter to our baby's nanny. As I was about to queue...Lydia exploded. (Not emotionally---physically with the worst case of diareha I've ever seen. It soaked the diaper and her clothes immediately. I rushed to a bathroom with hubby behind me. Her pants were unwearable but I had brought extra clothes just in case. So she wore her top and a pair of prissy little strawberry pants on the bottom. I knew with her poo, she was sick. No way she was healthy....but I had no idea what it was and I people from our agency were pestering me to return quickly or I'd miss the Nannies. I left the bathroom with Liddy and Russell cleaned up the mess as best he could and he joined me. As I got closer to talking to Lydia's Nanny I was pulled from the line and told the orphange director wanted to talk to me. By this time I had a toy in her hand (which gave me that much needed reaction to something) and a bottle of formula in her mouth. I have to admit, when they told me the orphange director wanted to see me I was a bit nervous about that. He hadn't spoken to anyone else the entire time and he'd been following us around the room a bit.
That's when they told us he had wanted to adopt Lydia but was unable and he knew her very well and wanted to speak with us about her.
We chatted and it was great to see how much he obviously loved Lydia and Lydia obviously loved him too because she kept trying to get to him. (He wouldn't take her though I offered...he kept saying to her in chinese stay with her...she's your momma. and she quieted down.) She didn't cry the whole bus trip back to the hotel...she just stared at me. Once we got back we had to have our pictures taken for the adoption certificate and that was when she finally exploded emotionally. Lydia was done and wanted to be left alone. Our picture had to be taken though so we endured...once we were done with that we went to the room and Lydia laid in my arms until she passed out completely. We could hear all the other babies screaming for food, but I had brought a bottle, so she was fed and ready for sleep. We stripped her as she slept and put on a onesie and she slept in her crib until 3am when she wanted to be fed again.

That night I did a lot of research about flat heads on the internet and it eased my concerns some...Our first day together was something I will never forget.

[Momof2boysinOH]

Lissa,

Thanks so much for posting this! It sounds like an incredible day. My husband is traveling without me so I will definitely tell him to have formula and extra clothes with him at Gotcha Day.

Thanks again!

[drmalcolm]

Lissa, thanks so much for posting your story and the video. I loved the chance to see a live reunion.

I think that your video is a great example of how to remain calm for the child's sake. You seemed to be so gentle and soothing to her.

One of the most touching parts of your story was how the orphanage director told Lydia to stay with you for you are her mother now, despite the fact that he loved her and had wanted to adopt her himself. It struck me as true love--that he would act in the best interest of Lydia, despite the fact that he probably wanted to take her and kiss her, too.

Thanks for sharing!
Christina

[journeytograce]

Thank you for sharing your gotcha moment Lissa.
I think I remember you saying that the one baby in your group who had the hardest time was the one whose mama lost it at gotcha? You were so incredibly calm, will have to remember to not gush w/tears for my baby's sake!

[TaraL]

Since we just celebrated our first "gotcha day" on January 4th I have been thinking alot about that amazing day.

Our group (18 families with babies coming from different orphanages!) all met in a round room in the hotel. We could see orphanage workers (not the nannies as apparently they have quite a hard time with it) holding the babies in another room. I remember dh saying all of a sudden "Oh my gosh, I see my daughter." The tears started then but we both got it together because we didn't want to scare Olivia.

They called each family up one by one. I still couldn't see Olivia as I was too short. Dh just kept saying how beautiful she was. Finally they called us and we walked up and was handed Olivia. She already had a grin on her face and it got even bigger after she looked at us. She looked at us like "I can wrap these 2 right around my little finger." I sware to you this!

I was holding her as dh was talking to her. All of a sudden she blew rasberries at dh and she started laughing. (By the way she was 12.5 months at gotcha day). I knew right then and there that this kiddo was mine. She already had quite a sense of humor and still does. And she still gives me that look. I remember that I just kept looking at her face as she was so beautiful with her big dark eyes and thick black hair (lots of hair). While I was looking at her she was studying my face and patting my cheek with one hand with that same little devilish grin. The other little hand had a tissue in it. She had a cold. There was nothing sweeter then seeing that little tissue in her tiny little hand. We also found tissues in her coat pocket.

We took her back to our room and the doctor came to look at her. She was fine, just a cold, that cleared up in a about 2 days. I of course got bronchitis. Anyway we got her all changed and dressed in pink and fixed her hair. We gave her a few little toys however ripping the tissues out of the box was much more fun. We were so lucky. Olivia never had any problems adjusting to us. Yes she did cry at night for a few nights in the hotel but that was it. She is extremely attached to us.

I will say that Olivia did better then I did. I will be honest and say that as soon as I saw her I knew I loved her but I expected to feel this instant bond with her. I didn't and I felt terrible guilt about that. I still feel guilty for it although I now know its normal. The bond did grow every day. By the time we got home I not only loved this little girl but I was "in love" with her. Its hard to explain. Being a first time mom I didn't know what to expect but all I know is that I have been given the most beautiful amazing child who is affectionate, loving, and quite humorous. I don't even remember what my life was life before her and I never want to. I am truly blessed.

Thank you so much for letting me talk about how this wonderful little being came into my life. I love to hear other's stories also and I can't wait to hear all the stories from those who are waiting. I still cry at everyone!

[nsanders]

The hardest part was the day before. I got into Taiwan around 6am, but could not go to his nursery in Tainan until the next day. We couldn't sightsee either because of SARS. It was the longest day ever!

I was with another couple the first time that I saw our son (not pic or video). First they brought out the other couples daughter. She took one look at them and just screamed! Everyone was so busy trying to calm her & them down.

When they brought out Shaun, he was so calm. I kissed him on one cheek and he smiled. I kissed him on the other cheek and he smiled. And that's how our story goes.