[Svartinge]

Hi all,

Getting excited about the wealth of knowledge and experience hidden in these forums.

Anyway - my wife and I are looking to adopt from China. We live in Sweden, and she speaks perfect Swedish and I have English as my natural language, and beginners Swedish/Finnish.

The dilemma we face at the moment is that the social worker we are working through believes that we should only speak Swedish to the adopted child as the child will of been exposed to Mandarin, and an additional two languages (Swedish and English) will be too confusing and complex. The age of the child we are looking at adopting is probably 9 months - 18 months old.

What I would like to gather is both qualitative and quantitative evidence that either supports or dismisses her argument. My personal preference is to follow the "one parent, one language" method, with my wife speaking in Swedish, and me in English. Over time we would obviously want to add and support the growth of the childs Mandarin but at a later date.

Comments and experiences wanted!

Best

Mark.

[Marshie]

In my opinion, if you want your child to learn Swedish, English and Mandarin, the best time to expose them to those languages is right away. The longer you wait the harder it will be for him or her to actually learn fluency. Mandarin and English are two very widely spoken languages that would be very helpful for your child to learn in life. I am certainly not going to say that your child HAS to learn English or Mandarin to get by in the world, but it certainly would open more doors than not knowing them (and that goes for Spanish, Arabic and other major languages too but lets just say English and Mandarin now since they are more relevant here).
Also, I've heard many adult international adoptees saying that not knowing the language of their birth country has hindered them and is a big regret. Many wish their adoptive parents had at least tried to help them learn to speak it. I don't know of any who complained that it was too confusing as a baby to live in a bi or tri-lingual home. I mean, moving to a new country with new parents who speak a new language and smell different and act different and look different and eat different things is pretty confusing also but you do it anyways because its best for the child.
In the end, I would say its a personal decision for your family. If you want to help your child be bi or tri-lingual then I think itd be a great thing for him or her. If you try and find that languages just aren't your or your child's thing, then hey, no harm, at least you tried! If you don't try, you or your child -might- end up wishing you had though. Just a thought!

Good luck in your decision!

[Momof2boysinOH]

I agree with Marsha that it's a personal choice. We are a trilingual family (English, Spanish and Portuguese). My husband and I speak English to each other but I speak Spanish on a daily basis to my mother (and I'm a freelance translator) and he occasionally speaks Portuguese (only to his grandmother). We have decided that our boys will probably never learn Portuguese because my husband rarely uses it and he feels Spanish is much more useful.

My sons are 2 and 1. My older son is speaking in short sentences (English) and I try to teach him some Spanish words as well. I feel that it would be a shame for him not to learn Spanish since it could help him later in his career. Still, I'm trying to get him to master English first before immersing him in Spanish. He has some bilingual toys that I try to leave on the Spanish setting so that he can learn some Spanish that way. It's really funny how they know the differences between languages...he knows when I'm talking to grandma by the fact that I'm speaking Spanish.

When we bring our daughter home, we will have the same approach (English first and Spanish later). I have bought a book on Pinyin also, so I hope to teach all 3 of my children as much as I can.

Good luck!

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi,

I agree that this is an extremely personal decision and I may be in the minority opinion here. However, I do not think you should use 2 seperate and new languages in the beginning. I'm a speech language pathologist and I agree that there is a window of time that learning a second language is easier. However, there is also research that shows children with language delays have difficulty in bi-lingual/multi-lingual situations. Our children are extremely likely to have a language delay in their native language of Mandarin or Cantonese. Often our children's caretakers dont' have the time to interact, sing, play with them necessary for language development.

It is hard to get a great assesement of language development in our children because you often don't have a speech therapist who speaks Mandarin/Cantonese available. Also, our children may not show their skills right away because of the stress of the situation. Our daugther was assessed by a co-worker of mine who is a SLP and is fluent in Mandarin. She confirmed what I knew, that our 14 mos old dd was language delayed in her native language. Honestly, most little ones I've seen from China are delayed in their expressive language skills.

Now, to be positive, most children thrive in the language enriched environments their new families provide for them. Many will catch up on their language skills by the time they have been home 12-16 months. However, most social workers and adoption agencies are seeing more families access speech therapy for their children after they have been home for awhile. I do think that you can eventually expose your child to all 3 languages when they are still young enough to maximize their learning potential.

Take care,

[foxl]

Hey, Mark -- have you looked at India as a source country? Seems to me a lot of Swedish families adopt from there. The program is slow right now, but you might want to look into it ...

re: languages -- it is a personal choice -- as you can see I am building a family from three other cultures so without having the languages already in place, it'd be pretty daunting for us if we tried to learn them!!!

[wanttobe]

We are in agreement with what you have said. We were told that as long as the languages are seperated, such as mom one and dad the other, that it was not only right but very good for you to teach these languages as soon as the child comes home, or is born! We were even told, upstairs one language, down stairs another, as long as they are not thrown together.
hope that helps
dana

[drmalcolm]

Originally Posted by wanttobe

We were even told, upstairs one language, down stairs another, as long as they are not thrown together.

Wow. I've never heard this idea, Dana, but I love it! It's simple, but makes good sense. It offers another option to parents who don't want to be associated with only one language per person.

Christina

[Soon2B4?]

I personally think you would do your child a diservice NOT to speak English to him/her. If I understand it correctly, neither of you speak Mandarin so I think that the one parent, one language is the way to go, I really don't think the child would be less or more confused with one vs. two languages but I am no expert! We follow the one language per parent philosophy and it is working great for us!

[SofiasMom]

First, your child might not have been exposed to much of any language - it depends on the orphanage. You might want to do research on exposing children to more than one language - I recall that the more the better. My daughter was and still is (she's now 6) a little language sponge and has done fine.

[Mailbox13]

Mark,

I think it is great that you are capable and willing to teach your child multiple languages. I am doing my best to do the same for my ds. (And will continue with dd.) It is difficult since I don't speak anything other than English fluently.



I am not an expert, but have read a lot of research on languages and the brain. The language pathways in the brain are being "laid down",so to speak, between the ages of 2 - 4. It has been shown that even if all a person gets exposed to is someone else speaking the language, (doesn't even have to be in person, can be a CD) then pathways are developed. This makes it easier for the person to learn other languages.

It has been shown that the earlier you start learning a language, the better. In other words, not waiting until later in the education process.



As you can tell, I fully support your plan of teaching multiple languages. I have also heard the one parent, one language is the best method within a bilingual home.



However, I am going to also second what Melissa, MissyAChinaMom, (speech pathologist) said. Simply because I have heard the same thing from others. Our children may be speech delayed due to there situation. (The younger they are when they come home the less effect this will have.) It really depends a lot on the child as well. Speaking two languages can complicate a diagnosis. Also, starting off with two languages may slow down their speaking.

These are all things to consider when making your decision. Which others have said, is a personal choice.

You might decide to compromise. Come up with a transition time where only one language is spoken (which ever is dominant in your house). Then, gradually add in the additional language.

Good Luck

[drmalcolm]

Originally Posted by Mailbox13

I think it is great that you are capable and willing to teach your child multiple languages. I am doing my best to do the same for my ds. (And will continue with dd.) It is difficult since I don't speak anything other than English fluently.

Mailbox13, have you tried the JumpStart CD-ROM computer games? I'm not sure what the other language is that you would like for your kids to learn, but my son loved their Spanish program (I think it was appropriate for age 4 or 5 and up?). I must warn you, though, that 4 years later, I can STILL remember some of the songs and get them stuck in my head!

I also went online to find language teacher resources and found some videos in Spanish, French, Italian, etc.

Good luck!
Christina

[AdoptAmiga]

Congratualtions on your decision to adopt. I hope you have a smooth, speedy process. Go for the 2 (or more) languages. We are a bilingual OPOL (Spanish/English) family. My dh is the native SS, I'm the ES, but we are also both fluent in the other language. Our kids are almost nearly 4 yrs and 3 yrs and do beautifully in either language. One language will always seem dominant, usually dictated by where you live, relatives and friends, school, or media (tv/radio/newspapers). Because of this, right now we emphasize Spanish in our home (say 70/30). We plan to return to live in South America in a few years, thus, the emphasis in our home will then be English. We are also learning Mandarin as a family (using the BBC Muzzy series and Chinese friends) and of course, the kids are leaps and bounds ahead of Mom and Papi!
Best of luck with your language journey. I'm so grateful that we can give our children the gift of 2 (or more) languages.

[Momof2boysinOH]

I forgot to post earlier about my personal experience growing up. Both my parents are Spanish speakers so Spanish was my first and only language at home. My daycare provider was also a Spanish speaker so that was pretty much all I was exposed to. By the time I was ready for school, my mother had to fight to get me into regular classes because the school system wanted to put me in ESL. I learned English in those first few weeks of being with other children in school and I've never had a problem. By 7th grade, I won my junior high's English award and I was the only bilingual student in my entire school...not too bad for someone who started out "at a disadvantage" speaking only Spanish at home.