[mythreesons+]

I am sorry that my post upset you so much. As I wrote in the thread.

I don't post much and guess this is a sign to stop. I only want to be of value to those in the process. I have learned much and I only wish to encourage those who are working toward their adoption.

All the best.
__________________

[Momof2boysinOH]

I must have missed something? I didn't see anything that could have offended someone.

[twoinblue]

Cindy,

<edited to remove rep. point discusion>
There are a lot of different personalities on this message board and its unrealistic to think that we won't offend people unintentionally on occasion.

I don't believe you intended any offense in anything you said. If people get afraid to speak their opinions this message board will become useless.

If someone offends a person on a thread, I feel that the offended person should post on the thread their feelings. This gives the original poster a chance to explain themselves in case they offended anyone else.

Don't stop posting because someone else didn't like what you said.

[echaos]

Folks, please make sure you've read and understand the "Forum before discussing reputation comments.

[foxl]

We learn so much more by DISagreeing! Please do not stop posting over this!

[Shay]

WOOHOO...your green box is back!

[Sean&Shan]

Well I've clearly made someone mad or done something wrong, my post has been deleated alltogether.

I slandered no one and simply stated that I thought some people have used the anonymous format of the rating system to be mean or rude. I prefer when we think someone has said something offensive to ask them about their intent on the thread, I think it is very easy to misunderstand the tone of emails and posts. Thank you to those who pm'd me in agreeance. I have no idea what I said that was so wrong either!

I also want to say again that I hope that you don't let red squares keep you from posting. (hopefully this post won't be deleated too)

[drmalcolm]

Originally Posted by twoinblue

If someone offends a person on a thread, I feel that the offended person should post on the thread their feelings. This gives the original poster a chance to explain themselves in case they offended anyone else.

This is a very nice idea, Julie. I know that sometimes I am so focused on thinking about what I want to say that I unwittingly assume that others know what I mean. I know all of us would want to know if we've done this and offended someone in the process. To me, that's more productive than just giving negative rep.

I also think it's important to encourage folks to post if they disagree with something another person says. There may be others who feel the same way as you, but just don't know how to express themselves. Still, it is always just nice to begin with "That's a great point; however, I feel differently because _______" or something to that effect. It's okay--and sometimes great!--if we disagree... it's just important to do it respectfully.

By the way, if anyone is coming onto this thread and does not know what we are talking about with reputation points, here is a link to some info about them: Reputation Review Please do heed Andy's warning, though, and DO NOT say anything about your individual reputation points on the forum--you can be banned from the forum, and I'd hate to lose anyone!

mythreesons+, hope you'll stay with us, as you are a valued member of the forum!

Best regards,
Christina

[Lissa]

With my personal opinion about the rep system aside please know a lot of people who were very active and very knowledgable left here because they were "in the red". What a major loss due to a small red square. My online friends kept and keep me sane through this complicated and emotional process. When the world (and sometimes even your spouse) didn't understand, you all do, because you are going through it as well. I know it's hard to continue when you are new and you are in the red but please everyone who has this happen, still post. It won't take long before you are back in the green.

[twoinblue]

I got censored! That's never happened to me before. My mother would be so ashamed.

Okay my bad. I didn't understand the square thing when I originally read the rules. I'm still not sure I understand what the purpose behind it is. Can't we just all get along?!

[drmalcolm]

Julie,
Your post made me laugh--we shall now brand you with the scarlet C for CENSORED! I sometimes watch reality TV shows and can't help thinking... oh my gosh, my mother would KILL me if she saw me do that! We never quite escape their watchful eye... and neither will our daughters, I guess!

As for your question about the necessity of the reputation system, there was a very good discussion on the Guatemala forum about this: FORUM REMINDER: How To Use Reputation. I agree that the system is far from perfect, but apparently it's made things more peaceful. Here is a direct quote from Forum Hostess Bassette (Stephanie), who began the aforementioned thread:

"I was here long before the rep system was put into place and I can you tell that the forum has become a much more peaceful place since it started. There used to be constant heated discussions that would turn into bashing and it effected everyone who read it. Adoption is stressful and we don't need that added toxicity of constant forum bashing amongst members. All it takes is a stinker or two to keep that rather taxing behavior alive. The rep system, in my opinion, has had a direct effect on forum behavior and I fully support this neat little tool. I know some think it is high schoolish, but if you were around back in the day of bashing you may appreciate the postitive contribution that the rep system has brought to our forum experience."

I guess things were really uncivilized before, and that behavior caused this process to go into effect. Still, I will restate that I have received great advice from people with one green square to eleven, not to mention people with a red square. Just because someone has a few green squares does not necessarily mean that he/she is farther in the process or more knowledgeable. It may just mean that that poster has been here longer or has had a chance to participate in more discussions.

Anyway, peace to all in '06!
Christina

[twoinblue]

Christina,

I have edited my signature and will now be hanging my head in shame while I am surfing the message board.