[padme]

Dear all,

I am interested in the details pertaining to policy guidelines on the eligibility for adoption leave, if available, in the United States. What are adoptive mothers entitled to in your country? Would you be able to direct me to the relevant website(s) where I might be able to obtain the information?

Thanks a bunch!

[andreagaspard]

Adoption should be covered under FMLA

http://www.dol.gov/compliance/laws/comp-fmla.htm

Also check with your state. Some states may have longer time frames.

<sigh> I do wish it was paid FMLA. The company I work for only pays my salary if I had my own baby, but not for an adoption.

By the way, hi everyone! I've been lurking for the last month and have learned a lot.

Andie G. in Texas

Submitted application 11/28/2005

[ahfdragonfly]

FMLA only applies if your company has more than 50 employees. If you have fewer than that, then it's all up to your employer. My boss let me take 6 weeks, of course, I pretty much told him what I was doing.

Millie

[Sean&Shan]

Also note that FMLA only requires your boss to allow you to take time off, it does not enforce any ability to be paid or use accrued sick leave. Last year there was a very active thread comparing what different employers provided as far as paid maternity/adoption leave, the ability to use accrued sick/vacation days or having to take the entire thing unpaid. Some employers treat adoption leave and maternity leave differently since they see no "need" for a mother to medically recover from an adoption and therefore do not allow parents to use sick days to help supplement expenses while away from work. Now the whole "need" issue is a whole 'nother topic, but I just wanted to highlight some of the issues that have come up in the past.

[andrea]

My large, national company keeps the part timers at 1000 hours or under so my boss informed me that I don't qualify for family leave. Nice. I was also informed that they won't approve me for the four weeks I wanted to take off unpaid. I have worked for this company 3 yrs and I have decided I am taking it anyway when the time comes. If they want to fire me they can. I will find another job. When we bring home our next daughter we will have a 3 yr old and whatever age the next daughter is and there will be much adjusting so I will need at least that amount of time.

Andrea

[ToothFairy]

Thanks all - for your quick responses. Appreciate it!

Where I live, women are entitled to 4 weeks (paid) Adoption Leave if the child is less than 6 months of age. If the adopted child is any older than that, the adoptive mother is not eligible for any Adoption Leave. I'm trying to write in to relevant authorities to ask them to review these guidelines in the case of China adoptions - since almost all the children matched to us will be older than 6 months old! I agree with andrea that some period of adjustment and time spent with the child is necessary - and most of us will take no-pay leave for a certain duration anyway. Now it's just a matter of whether we continue to receive our pay for that time-off.

Sean&Shan, thanks for your thoughts - yes it would seem that the authorities over here also view maternity leave differently from adoption leave. I can understand that a woman who has just given birth would need time for her body to recuperate - and those who adopt newborns may need some extra time, with bottle-feeding and all - but I cannot see why we are not eligible for ANY Adoption Leave at all, even if the child we are eventually matched with is 7 or 8 months old! Sorry if I sound grumpy and thanks for listening to me vent my frustrations - but it's been a trying attempt just finding out the names of the people I should approach in the relevant authorities.

Will have to work on a good, sound argument - for the benefit of all couples in my country who adopt children from China.

[arffmedic]

My employer will allow us to use accrued vacation time while off on FMLA, so that I can continue to receive a paycheck.

[Lissa]

Wow Tooth fairy good luck getting the leave! That's so Bassackwards. It's AFTER 6 months that you really start needing more and more to take the time to form attachments to the children. The older the child is, the more you need to take that time to have them transition into the family smoothly.

I can't tell you how valuable that 6 weeks my work gave me with Lydia was. I wish I'd been able to have longer actually as 2 of those weeks were spent in China...she is in daycare right now and we've backslid a little. She's having sleep problems again--nowhere near as bad as when we first got her, but we aren't sleeping through the night anymore either! I'm hoping it'll settle down in a couple of weeks once she gets used to the new routine.

While I feel guilty about the daycare thing. (No way around it though.) I feel we're still pretty far pretty fast with Lydia. She's a resilient little girl. She's our little steel magnolia!

[GRKinWisc]

Toothfairy;

If you need a good argument, take the approach with attachment issues. I have done some research while obtaining my counseling degree on Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It doesn't affect the younger children and their parents as much as the older children 21/2 +. But, it is crucial to have that time to make that solid attachment to any age child. They have already been through so much already and they need to know who you are (their mommy) and that the other person (child care giver) is NOT yet another mom. There is a lot of info on RAD if you need references! Regardless, IMO, it may be helpful to have read up on it before you travel! They are going through quite a bit with different faces, new sounds, different schedules, foods, etc. etc. They do react to these changes at any age!

Best of luck with your situation!

GRK

[padme]

Lissa and Gretchen, thanks so much for the ideas. Yes! I'm in total agreement that attachment I've been going through some of our adoption reference books as well as sources on the Internet for information on attachment issues. I'm grateful for the advice and support! Will keep you guys posted.


By the way Lissa, Lydia is simply gorgeous. You're one lucky mommy!

[morsedonna]

Andrea,
Wow how sad for you. I hope you find a more understanding agency to work for.

[morsedonna]

FMLA does not have anything to do with getting paid for the tme off. FMLA holds your job while you take the time off. I believe you can take up to 12 weeks of FMLA for addoption or having a baby. If you qualify under FMLA your employer can not tell you how much time you can take off. I have also heard that this time can be split up over the year, but this information is not verified.

My company has short term disability for having a baby, but it does not cover adoption. I will use my vacation time and then go with unpaid leave for the rest of the time. I have not decided how much time I will take yet.

[drazil65]

Just thought I would chime in on the FMLA conversation for a minute. Last year we brought our son home from Russia and I qualified for FMLA under Federal guidelines. As it clearly states that adoption is included and my employer was a very large company with hundreds of employees they had no say in whether or not I took the leave and had to hold my position for me, no pay of course. After 6 weeks home my supervisor called me at home to ask when I would be back and I told her after the 12 weeks were up (I had made it clear before I went on leave that I would take 12 weeks off). She then told me that I had no reason to be taking all this time off and that I did not give birth so it was not like I had to recover or anything. Yes, I was furious and as I felt that I had a very clear understanding of the law that dealt with FMLA and adoption I called an employment attorney to verify my understanding. He confirmed I was correct and told me that my employer had no say in how much of the 12 weeks I could use nor could they ask me for updates (the FMLA papers I signed and had copies of clearly stated that updates were not required) of any kind and my only obligation was that I give them a 2 week advance notice of my return, which I did. So do not let your employer bully you by making you think they control the FMLA laws.

Now, that being said, once I returned I could tell that they were not happy with the fact that I took the full 12 weeks off and thought I had taken advantage of the situation. Our son was 20 months when we brought him home and we felt we needed every day possible for an attachment foundation. They even went as far as mentioning it on my stellar (except for this comment) annual review and used it as a reason to decrease my merit points and percentage of my raise. I also kept a copy of this and realized where my priorities were and my best interests, with my son! I am now a sahm and could not be happier and I make ALL the rules (well, sometimes DH does ). Good Luck.

[foxl]

My workplace is quite liberal in interpreting FMLA -- we can take our 12 family sick leave days as the first 12 days of adoption leave, then switch to vacation ... they also let me sign up for Intermittent leave -- so I can come back part time and thus earlier! Still, I also was informed that this leave is intended ONLY for the child's adjustment, since I need not recuperate from delivery! If only they knew ... how very crucial that can be!

I intend to take 4 weeks, but once home I will work Saturdays, leaving DH with the kids for 8 hr ...