[morsedonna]

I have never understood when people feel the need to tell you all about something that they know nothing about.

[foxl]

Don't be dogging me out.

-- AMEN! Nice job -- even in the haze of combat.

[cakelover34]

I dont think I would call this person a friend!

[twoinblue]

A lady I knew warned me about something and her warning has stuck with me. She said that some people need to feel superior no matter what the issue is. Some women will criticize others because they don't breastfeed, because they work, because their kids are too close together, etc. Anything to feel that they are the superior person.


I don't think people like this need or deserve an explanation about the choices I made when planning my family. Someone says something like that to me, I plan on just telling them, "What a horribly rude thing to say!" If I'm feeling particularly catty I might tell them that I won't allow my daughter to play with their child if she will be learning the same rude behaviors. The insinuation that they are an inferior parent or that their child would be an inferior playmate should be enough to make them rethink their stand on some issues if they are that worried about apperances.

[sethsmommy]

BIG HUG!! Most people are not educated on what adoption is about. Adoption is all good! We all have our own path we take to get there.

[KarenInCa]

Originally Posted by twoinblue

A lady I knew warned me about something and her warning has stuck with me. She said that some people need to feel superior no matter what the issue is. Some women will criticize others because they don't breastfeed, because they work, because their kids are too close together, etc. Anything to feel that they are the superior person.

I recently went through this when we got together with some friends and there was a couple at the gathering that gave birth to all three kids at home, they're into breast feeding till the child is 3 or 4 yrs old, and into completely natural foods. They were happy to know we're adopting, and I agreed with them about nutrition, etc. (even though I thought they were a bit extreme). BUT as soon as I mentioned that our daughter might be undernurished, and said that, if our daughter is 18 months or older when we get her, I might supliment her diet with pediasure for the first few months....they SCOWLED at me....oh my goodness, I could have been the devil incarnate!! I was lectured about how bad it is to use pediasure because the child should get all its nutrients from food...etc..blah blah blah...and as they both talked, all I could do was think these two are from a different planet than myself, and while I was talking about nurishment they were compairing me to someone doesn't care about nutrition. In my mind, they became the ignorant parents, because while they were so busy becomming parents that think outside the box, they were unable to understand that they had boxed themselves in.

[Sean&Shan]

Good observation Karen, some people work so hard to jump "out of the box" they don't realize they've jumped right into another.

[foxl]

Karen and all,
We have different standards of acceptance for our kids, because we had no control over their earliest lives. So many things that are considered a cardinal sin by biological parents, or even first time adopters (like ME!), are just things we deal with and move on, now.

You definitely do get a thicker skin, as your child or family grows.

[andrea]

Karen

You've met with one of the "militant mommy brigade". That group strikes fear into my heart . They know all and see all. . But yet they don't see breast feeding a 3-5 year old as a little out there.

Andrea

[Casey677]

From someone who adopted domestically.... I constantly hear "Where did you adopt her from?" When I say Indiana, I almost always hear, "Ooooh, why didn't you go over seas?" Followed up with some uneducated response about her bfamily trying to take her back.

My only point of posting this is that you can't please everyone. People have rude things to say if you adopt internationally or domestically. I am starting to think that people are just rude in general. Enjoy your little one!!!!!

Casey

[drmalcolm]

Originally Posted by Casey677

From someone who adopted domestically.... I constantly hear "Where did you adopt her from?" When I say Indiana, I almos always hear, "Ooooh, why didn't you go over seas?" Casey

Oh my gosh! I don't mean to laugh, Casey677, but what you go through just proves that there is NO pleasing everyone! Not that we should even try... Congratulations on your successful U.S. adoption. I have a friend who just was chosen by two families last weekend! She had just begun the domestic process this summer after uncertainty with Guatemala. It's a joy to hear of such quick success.

As for the comments about adopting internationally, one of my girlfriends and I were discussing such ignorance the other day. We agreed that some of these rude comments come from people who seemingly equate international adoption with job outsourcing or buying a foreign car... in their eyes, it is unpatriotic. Ridiculous.

Anyway, I guess we all need to develop a thick skin and a sense of humor... it sounds as if we need both.

Have a safe and wonderful holiday,
Christina