[mkinzie]

I'm in a great mood today! My dossier was just mailed to China so no I feel we're definitely in the first trimester so to speak! This, I feel, has helped me begin to laugh at all of the silly and sometimes bizarre questions that I have been asked when people learn DH and I are adopting. I even got a silly one today. Here are some of my favorites.

1) Will you be able to understand her? She is going to speak Chinese you know.

2) It will be weird that she will learn to speak English.

3) What do you do for baby needs because you can't have a baby shower?

4) You'd better start working out now so you'll be ready for the baby when she comes.

5) Are you making payments on her? If you are, how much are they? (I wanted to ask him how much he pays for his expenses!)

6) Have you thought of changing your hair color so you'll look more alike?

7) Why are you adopting? Can't you get a dog or something?

8) I wouldn't adopt. I've heard too many horror stories.

9) Why do you have to go through all the homestudies? Did you do something wrong?

9) And today's comment. . . . . Is your husband adopting, too? How does he feel about it?

Now mind you, the majority of these comments are from educated people. One of the teachers I teach with said I should start a silly comment book and read them back to the people who actually make them. It's a thought! Melissa

[cfc]

yes people for the most part have no clue.
Your online dossier buddies will become your friends through this part of the process because only a fellow adoptive parent knows the thrill of getting the 171 in the mail or getting your lid.
Cfc

[Marshie]

we had a friend tell us we shouldn't be so selfish, adopting a child from China. We should be thinking about our real kids and spend the money on them instead, cause think of how much toys $16,000 could buy them!


This past weekend we told a person at the car dealership we were buying a bigger vehicle because we were adopting a child from China. He then looked at my 3 very blond, blue eyed children and asked if they were too.

I'm going to my mom's house for the weekend because of hurricane rita, and all my family on that side will be there too, so I'm sure I'll have about a dozen or so more things to add when I get back!

[Tsmom]

Here is a good link for you:
http://www.woodruffs.com/dfaqpage.html
It called Dumb Frequently Asked Questions - it's very funny!
Nona

[jdr233]

yes, they are silly. But, the one about working out is really practical. If you think about it, women who are pregnant carry around a slowly increasing amount of weight and their bodies get used to that. With adoption, one day you are blithly gliding along and the next, you are carrying a 15 - 20 pound baby!!

I've practiced with my friend's one year old, and it got me at the gym lifting weights to build up my upper body. As much as I hate working out, I know I will hate the back aches more if I don't!!

Jennifer
NYC

[kjharris]

"And today's comment. . . . . Is your husband adopting, too? How does he feel about it?"

Oh, please, please, please tell us you said something like, "Oh no, he doesn't know anything about it. It's my little secret!"

[skingspan]

My wife and I expected a lot of silly comments from people but have been surprised that most people have been very supportive.

The only comment that we have gotten from multiple people is:

"As soon as you get the baby home you will get pregnant on your
own"

This is from people who are aware of our fertility issues and I think they mean well. I usually say, well that would be great but we are just as excited about our decision to adopt as we would be having a child biologically.

[julianneo]

mkinzie....this is classic! Thanks for the laugh! My DH and I have not run into any really crazy comments like that. We have gotten SEVERAL of the "As soon as you adopt you will get pregnant." ones as well, and one comment from a person who was very upset that we are adopting internationally rather than a child from America. Anyway, our dossier should be ready to go soon too and then the wait begins! Congratulations on this big step!

Julianne

[koalasong]

My top two favorites comments are:
Why would you want to start over like that (I have two kids ages 12 and 14 and I'm 45 yrs. old). Just when you're going to be free soon - why you would tie yourself down?! And why in the world would you adopt from China when we have so many kids in this country that need a home? Of course - don't forget just the look. You know - the one where the eyes open wider and all that can be mustered is, "Oh, how nice." Note: Most responses have been great!

[ahfdragonfly]

The worst I've gotten about our Korean daughter (who came home at 8 mos) have been about us having to talk to her so she can learn english . I was kind of planning on talking, but maybe some people don't? Or wondering if she will ned to take special english classes. Most people have just been great.

Millie

[prechrswife]

First of all, why in the world would someone think that because you are adopting that you can't have a baby shower? That's just odd.

We have also gotten a lot of the "As soon as you adopt, you will get pregnant" comments. We tend to just smile and say, "Well, then we'll have two little ones, won't we?" We have also gotten "Why China?"

[MMC66]

We didn't adopt from China but I got such a stupid comment yesterday I HAD to share it with someone.

"your daughter is so beautiful, where did she come from?"

"Chicago"

"no, I mean w h e r e d i d s h e c o m e f r o m ??"
(like saying it slower would make more sense )

"Chicago, she was born in Chicago"

"Oh really??" (with sort of a disgusted look on her face) I thought she came from somewhere more exotic"

I feel like people are SO disappointed when I tell them we adopted domestically. So at least you can satisfy those who think adopted babies should come from "exotic" places

Martha

[mnkygrrrl]

My husband and I actually started working out again just because of that! Carrying a baby around isn't easy if your not used to the extra weight!

Originally Posted by jdr233

yes, they are silly. But, the one about working out is really practical. If you think about it, women who are pregnant carry around a slowly increasing amount of weight and their bodies get used to that. With adoption, one day you are blithly gliding along and the next, you are carrying a 15 - 20 pound baby!!

I've practiced with my friend's one year old, and it got me at the gym lifting weights to build up my upper body. As much as I hate working out, I know I will hate the back aches more if I don't!!

Jennifer
NYC

[foxl]

Working out DEFINITELY is a good idea! Especially as it will keep off that pesky adoption-fat!

I LOVED the one about changing your hair color ... like, from strawberry blonde, to black? Pseudo-GOTH MOMMY! Like that helps deflect attention, huh. I keep picturing it and cracking up!

Then I spose that person might think, I shoulda changed my skin, too ...

And hey, MMC -- if you are from KANSAS CITY, Chicago IS exotic ;-)

[rmillerridlon]

My favorite was from a very pregnant friend, "you don't know how lucky you are not to be having to go through this." Like I was cheating! And that the adoption process is so easy!

I am trying desperatly to get into shape before we travel. These 10 adoption pounds are killing me. :-)

Ramona