[stephdpenn]

I was just wondering if anyone else had a situation like ours. My dh works on an oilrig in Brazil. He is gone 28 days then home 28. I am afraid that since he is not home everynight that might be a concern when the sw does our homestudy. Of course all visits will be done while he is home, that is not what bothers me. It is the fact that he is out of the country every other month.
When he is home he is very involved with our boys. He takes them camping, fishing, and goes to all school functions, etc. Still I am worried that may not make up for the fact that he is gone a month at a time. I am a full time stay at home mom so our boys and our new daughter will always have at least one parent there.
Any input from others would be great. Thanks.

[joyfulme3x]

Hi! We have a (somewhat) similar situation since my DH is military. My suggestion for you would be to talk to potential homestudy agencies right upfront about your situation. You will be able to get an idea of whether they will have a problem with your situation or not, and you can choose accordingly. Some social workers are more understanding about this type of thing than others, we found. One we talked to wanted us to give them a guarantee that DH would not be leaving the country for the next 3 years--THAT certainly was not possible for us! The homestudy agency we ended up using had no problem with DH being deployable; the SW just asked a lot of questions about the stability of our marriage, our support system (family and friends), etc. to be sure that the child would be in a good atmosphere in spite of DH absences.
I think you will be just fine!

[mimc]

Stephanie,

I'd talk to some home study agencies up front to get an idea of what they consider acceptable. Like Joyful said, you don't want to get involved in an agency and then find out they want a guarantee that he'll stay in town.

BTW, my dad works in the oil industry under a similar schedule and has since I was four years old. Having him at home all day long for weeks at a time was so much better than just seeing him in the evenings and weekends! He was available to go to school plays and programs, take us to the doctor, care for us when we were sick, etc. And as for their marriage, well, my parents just celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday!

[Katia555]

I think you got some good advice here about "interviewing" the home study agency before you hire them. Here is another thing that might help you: Once you hire a home study agency and the social worker interviews you, make sure to focus on the positive aspects of your husband's work schedule. (When he is home, he is able to spend a lot of quality time with his kids and focus his attention on their needs etc.) If you signal that your husbands' work schedule is actually a good thing (and it must be, in so many ways) your social worker, too, is much more likely to see it as something positive......