[donnagenelle]

Hello All,
Don't take this the wrong way but I'm curious.... We have meet several Asian families lately and have noted that they have named there kids very European names such as Elizabeth, Kevin, Lori, Molly, etc. So, why are we giving them Asian names?

My wife and I have considered an Asian middle name serveral times but nothing seemed to work for us yet. Anyone have any opinions one way or the other?

Jason

[Tsmom]

We plan on given her an American first name and keeping her Chinese name as her middle name.

[mashimoro]

Hello,

Here's my input: You will be giving your child an identity to his/her past. If you use part or all of her chinese name that was given to her in China, you could use it for her middle name. Many years down the road, you may avoid having to explain to her why she didn't have her chinese name included.

We're of chinese descent and we plan to have a European first name and plan to keep part/all of her chinese name as her middle name.

Regards,

Mashimoro

Hope this input helps.
Mashimoro

[joyfulme3x]

Good question.
We are planning on doing as Tsmom and Mashimoro explained.

The kids you referred to may be Elizabeth and Kevin but they probably have an Asian surname. Our child will not have an Asian surname so we see a particular value in maintaining her/his Asian heritage in the middle name.

From my discussions with people who were adopted I don't gather that the name question is a big make-or-break issue for adopted kids but it's something to consider carefully and interesting to discuss with other families to see what they have chosen to do.

[mdaisyq]

All of our children have European names that we gave them, but their middle names are their last names (their first names in China/Korea). For our Chinese daughters, this name was given to them by the orphanage and is based on the name of the orphanage where they lived.

In my family, all of our middle names are maiden names lost through marriage and we thought this was a great way to continue this tradition of using last names as middle names and to preserve our children's past lives.

Also, our children know their full given names and we have told them that when they are older, if they want, they can have their names legally changed back to them.

[Lissa]

I completely agree with Joyfulme about the surname being "changed" therefore having a part of their name that connects the child to her heritage being important.
One thing that my hubby and I have also decided is that we are a part of a mixed culture family that now also includes China (as well as Scotland, Ireland, Norway and Germany). Therefore both DH and I are legally changing our names and adding middle names that are Chinese to our given names. We got mixed reactions to this from family members, but overall everyone has been supportive of the decision and think that it's a really good idea.

[KarenInCa]

Hi Mashimoro,
Children are very condusive to whatever situation they are in. The child will grow up with or without a Chinese name and won't really be effected by it one way or the other. Whichever a parent decides to do, the child will grow up knowing no real difference, because that is what she/he will be used to. I don't really think a parent will have to "explain" why they chose not to add any Chinese names to the child's full name. The child will come to know itself by the name given from his/her parents, regardless.
On the other hand, I do think it adds positive self awareness to the childs identity if it is added in the full name. I think it is sensitive foresight for the parents to add the Chinese name to the child's full name, and we plan to do it, but if we didn't plan on it, I seriously doubt it would be something we would have to explain to her later. The name is not given by the b-parents anyway. In otherwords, I dont think it causes a negative impact if you do not choose to give the child their given Chinese name in their full name, but it can add a positive impact if you do. That said, I do think we want her to have the name to bring with her, because that is the only real thing she will have thats "hers" to bring back to the US when we go to China to get her.
Im just hoping our child has a name that goes well with Fae..lol

[maavjiam]

I find that those who I know are Asian use "Canadianized" names so that it is easy to pronounce and a way of "fitting" in, however their family members call them by their Asian name. Personally I believe what some have posted, that it is a part of her identity. We will give her a Chinese name (PeiLien) and keep her original name as a middle name....I feel priviledged to have an Asian daughter one day soon and I am traditional so I think it is only fair that I do not make her to be something that she is not..I have read often that if she is going to live and breath US air then she should have a US-sounding name and well as that is not my opinion there are some who prefer to merge...in Toronto we are truly multicultural and well its just beautiful that she can be herself and keep her identiy..I can't wait until we explor her heritage together!

Cheers

MAAV

ps. Just my opinion of course

[SofiasMom]

I would bet that alot of those Asian kids have Chinese names and use them with family.

I didn't give my daughter a Chinese name, she came with one which I decided to keep as her middle name. My feeling was that it was one of the few things that was hers from China.

Some families in my travel group did not give their daughters "American/European" names but kept the Chinese names as first names (and living in a city with many immigrants, I see that happening more and more), others changed the Chinese names to another Chinese name (this was especially so for the Chinese-Americans who adopted) and others disregarded the Chinese names all together.

[NeshRoo]

I'm in agreement with what a number of you ahve said. I would like to name our daughter with an "Americanized" name, to make her transition easier, but also keep her given Chinese name, so that if she wants it, she's got it! As SofiasMom put it, it's one of the few things she has to tie her to her roots/past. AND, as Lissa alluded to, I will be honest with my child and if she doesn't want to keep her Chinese name (later in childhood, we're not talking 5 years old here! LOL), then DH and I would allow her to drop it/change it legally. I would not like to make the mistake of changing it/taking it away if she is only going to find out later in life that she REALLY wished she'd had it. But again, if she doesn't want it, she can change it! How many among us hasn't has some name issues of our very own before? (I know I sure have!!)

Just my 2 cents.
-NeshaRoo

[donnagenelle]

I don't mean to be contrary but I think I come from a perspective that is unique. My Grandfather, whom I was very close to, was an immigrant from Belgium. He came over on a boat when he was 8 years old. He spent his whole life trying to overcome his immigrant status to be viewed as an American. We would beg him to teach us his language and he didn't want to. He rarely talked of his "old contry" but instead talked of the trials once he reached America.
His last name was very french and that alone brought even my father some personal difficulties in school etc. We Americanized our surname as much as possible while maintaining it. It wasn't untill my generation that the uniqueness was appreciated.

So I question how he would feel if he was purposely labeled with a name that reminded him of his immigrant status. Is it possible that we will be communicating to our daughters that they are not one of us and never will be? Are we stamping them with a type of "scarlet letter" that differentiates them?

[foxl]

I kpet my two kids' birthnames ... I brought this up to my husband recently, since a Chinese name would stnad out so much. I definitely would keep an orphanage-issued anme as a middle name, at least. To use it at a first name ... it'd depend on how it sounded.


BTW my close friend is Taiwanese and was given a European name AND a Chinese name ... and both are considered her "REAL" name (I do not think the Chinese name is on her BC) ...

[33458]

Originally Posted by donnagenelle

I don't mean to be contrary but I think I come from a perspective that is unique. My Grandfather, whom I was very close to, was an immigrant from Belgium. He came over on a boat when he was 8 years old. He spent his whole life trying to overcome his immigrant status to be viewed as an American. We would beg him to teach us his language and he didn't want to. He rarely talked of his "old contry" but instead talked of the trials once he reached America.
His last name was very french and that alone brought even my father some personal difficulties in school etc. We Americanized our surname as much as possible while maintaining it. It wasn't untill my generation that the uniqueness was appreciated.

So I question how he would feel if he was purposely labeled with a name that reminded him of his immigrant status. Is it possible that we will be communicating to our daughters that they are not one of us and never will be? Are we stamping them with a type of "scarlet letter" that differentiates them?

I also have personal experience with this attitude, as my mother's grandparents disguised their European birthmarks...stopped speaking the old languages, insisting that their children only speak English and "act American".

My mother, because of this, is afraid/offended by anything 'foreign'...fortunately, she is completely in love with the little girl that will be her grand-daughter (and my mother makes no distinction between those born to our family and those brought in from other sources. They are all "her kids".)

The struggle that she has is with the idea that Morgan and I will be learning "foreign" languages together, and that her adopted name will include her Chinese name as a part.

The way I see it - I'm not inventing a new name to signify her ethnicity, but retaining the name she was already given and now at 14 months, recognizes as her own.

Morgan Lela Xiaoqian.

[SofiasMom]

Thank goodness times have changed.

[mnkygrrrl]

I think I have a different opinion too. My husband and I are probably not going to keep her Chinese name as part of her legal name. For some reason, I want to name her instead of the orphanage naming her - I might even choose a Chinese name but I think she will be named after family. It just seems like they name the kids but it's not out of the love that we will have for her by naming her ourselves. I don't know how to say it without sounding negative because I know the babies are loved to an extent but there is a reason they are being adopted out - they need families to love them. So we are going to name her just like she was born to us. I wouldn't keep a name that the hospital gave a child here either. It just seems weird to us. I do understand why people want to do it though - we are just different. Please don't take offense - most of the names that I've heard are beautiful...that's not the problem with us. She will always know about her background and we are documenting every step of the way and she will know that the nannies gave her a name too.