[maavjiam]

Hi All AGAIN

I've been reading up on this topic, because I am reading on attatchment disorder. I've read enough so far that states that breastfeeding is a great way to bond with a child. Now not everyone enjoys this or wishes to do it, but there is a way to "simulate it". There is a system that you tape to your breast and the baby sucks what is possible from you but gets most from this system. It's very interesting stuff.

Has anyone breastfed their adoptive child? What are your opinions on it?

Anyone else have any feelings about it?

I never thought it was possible...but I did wish I could..but is a 6-12 month baby too old to breast feed...I mean especially that I will have to go back to work in 52 weeks.....

thanks..

[Venessia]

Wow, I applaud your efforts here. I, too, looked at breastfeeding our daughter, but have decided it isn't going to be for us. It takes a lot of patience, often times frustrating for the baby as well as the mother. Many women end up needing suppliments to help stimulate their mamary glands, and those stimulants have irritable side-effects for you. Also, you would need to start pumping a couple of months prior to her comming home so you have some milk flow started. For me, it was too much work for too little reward.

But, if you can cope with all of that, then that would be an amazing way to help build that bond between you and your new daughter. You might want to get in touch with the LaLeche League (spelled wrong, sorry) in your area, for more ideas. They often even have exceptionally nice breast pumps that you can borrow free of charge, or rent for a nominal fee. That would be a good idea at first, rather than spending a lot of money on it before you know if it's going to work for you or not.

Forgive me for pointing out all the pessimistic views here, but also keep in mind that you will likely be adopting a little girl closer to the age of 12 months, than the age of six months. Remember, China considers all children under the age of two as infants.

As for you returning to work after a year, that's okay. Even if she were your bio-baby, she would likely stop breastfeeding after that amount of time has passed anyway. And, you will get in a whole lot of bonding time with her during that year. As long as you and baby don't get too frustrated, I say Go For It!

Keep us posted on your progress here, as I know it's an avenue a lot of us have considered. We'd love to hear a success story!
Venessia~

[2kids and a dog]

There is a thread on the Guatemala forum where they were talking about this. I don't know how to post the link, but if you just go look for it you should find it. Things move fairly fast there it is on pg 2 right now. I've seen them go through several pages in 1 day.

Good Luck
Kim

[Lady Albert]

Hi, I bumped a thread with links up that talks about this subject.

Hope it helps!

You can PM me, I want to do this too!

Suzy

[Norsk]

I haven't read much about attachment disorders, but I don't understand what's natural about breastfeeding an adoptive child. Aren't most chinese adoptive children older than six months? For health reasons, children over six months don't get any special nutritional benefits from it either. And is it natural for a child to start at that age (when other children are trying to cut down)?

I have breast fed both of my bio boys. I'm trying to cut down now (Only breastfeed the youngest off course). He doesn't really want to quit (he's 9 months), but I'm afraid that if I don't quit now, it'll only be harder later. What if the adoptive child attaches to you and makes breast-feedingtime a comforter, wont it be harder for the child to let go, to stop when the child gets older? Can that in itself create problems concerning attachment? (I haven't read anything about breastfeeding adoptive children).

I think I can somehow understand it if the child is younger than six months... But still... it isn't natural to those children to be breastfed. I think...

I know that I wont breastfeed an adoptive child, but this made me curious, so maybe I'll try to find some literature about it to try to understand better why it's considered.

[maavjiam]

I wanted to respond to you all...so I'll be commenting on a few things.

I too thought that 6 months was "old" to be breast feeding. I've been watching the Nestle Baby's 1st year, a Canadian program, and I've learned a great deal. I have also read up a bit on the topic and thanks to Lady Albert, she posted two sites that gave me the ability to keep on linking to other sites this past little bit.

Now, there is also the "sling" that can help with bonding issues too, and is great for future dads as well.

I do know some people however who have breastfed until the child was 3 or 4 years of age. From what I see around me, literature I have read and personal opinions this is what I have found out: when it is a working mother, they try breastfeeding for a few months, but if their milk is not sufficient they start early with supplements, so mothers I know started to supplement later on....according to "specialists" they say that we should breast feed for at least 3-6 months, as nutrients found in the mothers milk is essential...but reality is for a working mom that they can't do this for reasons stated in the last post before mine, ex/ harder for the child to let go. However stay-at-home-moms, I found they breast fed up to a year or two and sometimes breastfeeding two children….and they found that it was the most precious and special time they had.

Breastfeeding does take a lot of patience as will preparing to breastfeed an adoptive child. I simply thought if I were to adopt a young child, then I would consider it because I would like that time with my child and supplement and my husband give the food at that time so he gets bonding time. Plus there is a way that you can breastfeed and give a supplement at the same time...I think I found the “machine” on the La Leche League site (you didn’t spell it wrong). It’s a tube that is thin and near the nipple so that the child can suck and receive both…which I found really cool because even if I can’t give a lot of milk then at least my child wouldn’t be without. (I do know mothers who have bio-children but not enough milk so they mostly supplemented...so it really doesn’t matter if you give birth or not).

Really I’m debating this issue and I so respect those who have. I have read a lot of posts of women who have breastfed multiple adoptive children...however they do not state the age..I think a few were Chinese babies…It’s just a great idea in general.

I do appreciate your opinions and I must say in case you didn’t know, but I’m “waiting to be 30” so my “success” story if I chose to do this won’t be for a while haha.

As for Kaz..it was the two trips or the long trip that is a problem…I don’t want to be in a foreign country by myself and I don’t know if my husband will be able to get all that time off. As for me, my parental leave ONLY applies when I “receive” the child, and I don’t think I will have enough sick days or personal days to make up and I’m not sure if I can “leave”. That’s a question I still have to ask, but because it’s too early I can’t. Kaz does appeal because of the age, but everything happens for a reason and since I am still paying a large student loan, (which include international fees…so you can only imagine), that we will need the time to get on our feet. We have considered to try having kids ~28 years old for me, so that will play another role in when we can adopt, because the Canadian government wants an 18 months difference….who knows what God has in store for us..so we take it one day at a time…for sure something good!!

Anyhow, I think to try to answer Norsk as best as possible, I believe people breast feed adoptive children for a variety of reasons: some birthmothers ask of this..especially if the child is a newborn or young, in some cases Korean open adoptions also ask this of the adoptive mother, and in other cases don’t even mention that you are considering this cause it may have an affect on your adoption because of others views…especially if your culture is different from the one you are adopting. In my mind I say living in Toronto there is a lot of bi-racial children, and mixed families so it may be a bit of a shock at first for some but for the most part I don’t think people would stare. It has also been stated that one has to check their “states law”, for Americans if this is allowed, and in Toronto there are places where nursing is okay and not..some restaurants don’t allow it and some do etc…..

Other reasons for choosing this at whatever age you get the child…now I don’t think past 1 years old from what I have read so far..no one has mentioned the child over 1 or something like that…is so that you can bond with the child…BONDING I believe is the best reason and the most important, even though there are many other ways to bond (ie. The sling that I mentioned). Plus it helps with attachment disorders etc.

I hope this was a good response.

Thank you all again and I’ll be sure to post as I find new info. I too was just curious and talking with my husband he thought it was a nice thing so if it works out it works out….I guess that’s really where I stand. I have been waiting A LOOOONNNGGG time to be a mother…it’s been a vocation I dreamt of and I really would like to do whatever I can to make the experience the best and learn as much as I could so that I can make the “right” decision.

Cheers,

[Lady Albert]

Originally Posted by Norsk

For health reasons, children over six months don't get any special nutritional benefits from it either. And is it natural for a child to start at that age (when other children are trying to cut down)?

This is from the American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement in regard to Breastfeeding:
Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal nutrition and sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months after birth.100 It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired.104
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...s%3b100/6/1035

There have also been a number of studies that indicate benefits of breastfeeding for older babies and toddlers, including oral development, and immunological and intestinal benefits.

At anyrate, if breastfeeding can be done for my adopted daughter then I'm going to try. Depending on the age she was "abandoned" she may have been breastfed for a few months, and may have only been "weaned" for a few months while in the orphanage. Even though the chinese babies may be 6 -12 months they may still be interested in resuming a nursing lifestyle. There have been reports of even older babies being adopted that have shown an interest in breastfeeding and their adoptive mothers have tried (some successfully) to nurse them.

You mentioned about weaning your child, there is a great book called "How Weaning Happens." It's a pretty quick read and is chock full on info on how to wean your child from breastfeeding. Also, La Leche League has at least 3-4 meetings a year on weaning. I'm sure there is a group/leader in your area that could help with strategies. I've found LLL to be a supportive environment for me in all my BF questions and senarios.

LLL also has information on inducing lactation and about adoptive breastfeeding. There was an article published in one of their recent magazines about nursing older adopted babies.

Actually... I just found the article online
http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...tNov04p99.html

Hope this helps!

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi All,

First let me say that I believe that breast feeding is a very personal decision and there isn't a right or wrong decision. Again it's just what's best for you and your family.

I only did some research on breast feeding babies from China while waiting--so I'm not as informed as some of you are. However, having our daughter home now from China I do have a couple thoughts I want to share with you. First, I want to say that if you choose to breast feed--it may be hard to do this right away in China. Many of the babies are stunned and going through many changes. In our travel group, a few babies were only calmed by bottle feedings. Second, most agencies will give you a 'bottle making" class before you get your children. The babies have usually been on a cereal and formula mix. Most packing lists ask you to bring small scissors and you will likely have to cut the nipple opening to be larger for the cereal (even the larger holed nipples). Most of the babies have been used to glass bottle and they are often served formula at extremely high temperatures---ones that we would consider too hot. Certainly not in all cases, but some babies will initially only take formula when it's extremely, extremely hot.

I'm not saying any of this to discourage you--just to give you more information so you know what the breastfeeding process may look like. I think it may take some additional time for our children to transition away from these patterns. Also, I want to reassure people that in the case they can't or don't choose to breast feed, it's very possible to bond while bottle feeding. Our daughter has allowed us to hold the bottle since we've had her (which is a great sign of attachment) and still enjoys cuddling, making eye contact while taking a bottle.


take care,
Melissa

[Lady Albert]

Originally Posted by MissyAmomChina

The babies have usually been on a cereal and formula mix. Most packing lists ask you to bring small scissors and you will likely have to cut the nipple opening to be larger for the cereal (even the larger holed nipples). Most of the babies have been used to glass bottle and they are often served formula at extremely high temperatures---ones that we would consider too hot. Certainly not in all cases, but some babies will initially only take formula when it's extremely, extremely hot.

This is really interesting! I would love to hear more people's stories and reactions about when they first got their daughters in China. I'm a long way away from actually holding my baby girl in me arms, so the more info the better!

Thanks Melissa!

[Lady Albert]

Hi, I just found a group that talks about chinese adoption and breastfeeding!

Here is the link:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ChinaA...Breastfeeding/

I haven't checked it yet, I was so excited to find it that I wanted to post it!

Good luck!
Suzy

[kay72]

We too, were given a "lesson" on making a "proper" bottle after we got our daughter. We bought the same brand of cereal and formula as she was used to, to lessen any stomach reactions. We were told to put *6* scoops each of formula AND rice cereal into 7 oz. of water. Yep, think goop...and think of the hole-size it needed to ooze out of!! She definitely wasn't used to sucking hard, as a breastfed baby needs to. We knocked back the cereal and transitioned her to formula-only, plus table food (age 10 mos.) and she's done very well. She still loves her bottle, and that's a special rocking time for us. It can be very attachment-promoting---she loves to pat our faces, and explore them with her hands while drinking. I really don't think the frustration of trying to stimulate milk/teaching her to nurse would've been good, with all the changes she had to go through. The one constant she had was her bottle, and she dearly loves it. She finds comfort in sucking it (yeah, we've tried pacifiers) even when it's empty, and likes to have it in her crib if she wakes up in the night (empty or with water in it).

You need to do what you feel is right, but as a mom who breastfed our bio kids, I really can't say that it's something I've "lost" with her. Her needs are different than our bio kids, and it's a challenge to try to meet them. Good luck, and keep us posted!
Kay