[Lucy311]

Hi.
We have our first meeting with an agency in MN next weekend. I have been doing a lot of research on China and Korea.
Has anyone else struggled with choosing a country to adopt from?
I am aware of a few differences:
China: most likely a girl, at least one parent must travel, babies are typically older when you travel
Korea: most likely a boy, can chose the escort option, babies are typically younger
But other than that, what have been "your" reasons for choosing China over Korea? We don't have any "ties" to either (as of yet).
Also, anyone in Minnesota just starting out?
Best to all

[Sean&Shan]

I do not believe that Korea has the same number of orphans that China has due to the cultural factors which influence the quantity of orphaned girls in China. In fact, I believe that Korea limits the number of children that they release for international adoption each year and only select agencies are even allowed to participate in Korean adoption due in part to this restriction. On top of that, the fees are quite a bit more expensive. I had not heard that there are more boys than girls in Korea, just that your chances of a boy from Korea are greater than that in China. I was under the impression that in Korea you had a 50/50 chance for each gender. However, I know that statistics generally support that more adoptive couples request girls which may make more boys available/ likely for those that did not specify a gender.
We never really considered Korea. I guess for a brief moment we discussed it as a possibilty for getting a slightly younger baby. But we quickly decided that China was where we were drawn to. We have several friends that had already adopted through China (both boys and girls!) and its lengthy and stable history just seemed to further support that it was the right fit for us. We look at the travel as part of the experience and cannot wait to travel to our daughters homeland, so the escort option never appealed to us. It turns out that our agency does not facilitate Korean adoptions, but we had already decided firmly on China before we realized that. There is such a wonderful support network for Chinese adoptions, such as Families with Children from China. We are very pleased with our decision thus far.

[MissyAmomChina]

Hi Lucy,

First, let me say congratulations on your decision to adopt--it's a fabulous way to become a family. Second, I firmly believe that no one country is "better" than another. I believe there is just the best match for each family.
I was drawn to China for practical reasons--health of children, very predictable program and great agencies to select from. I'm sure you could find those same features in a Korean adoption program.
Besides those shared features, the few things I think are different in the programs is 1) China had no weight restrictions on parents. I understand that many, but not all, agencies that work with Korea require the parents to not be overweight. Well, my husband and I are not obese, but we aren't thin either. 2) I was very drawn to the number of families in my area who adopted from China and the structured support group, Families With Children from China (FCC). I think that it will be such a fabulous benefit for our daughter to know many families that look like ours. Our FCC chapter has over 300 families.
Finally, I think that the last reason I was drawn to China was just a higher interest in the culture. There's nothing really profound about my connection to China prior to my daughter coming home. However, I've developed a great interest and have found the process or researching, reading, learning to cook traditional food, buying Chinese items really fun.
As an interesting side note, we discovered our neighbors were adopting from Korea as we stood in line to get fingerprinted (we didn't know they were neighbors--but we were excited as they went over their address and we discovered they lived about 10 houses away). They received their son about 3 months before our daughter came home. He is adorable, healthy and was 7 months when he came home. Our daughter was 12 months at referral and 13 months when she came home. She's had a fabulous transition, has been in good health, has no attachment issues etc. In a brief warm spell, I took her out for walk around the block and saw our neighbors son. Both of us new moms were very happy and fussed over the kids. I think any decision you make will bring the most amazing journey and child to your life. Best of luck.

Take care,
Melissa

[darnspacemonkey]

We were torn between Korea and China also- we ended up chosing China for a few reasons.
1. According to our agency mosty children in Korea will be adopted. (So to us we thought the child who still get a good home- not that I am selfless, cause I really want to be a Mommy).
2. We decided we prefered a girl first.
3. It just felt right.

We loved that in Korea the had an escort service- this way we could visit with our child when they were older and we wouldn't have to deal with jetlag and a baby.

Just ponder it for a few days- let your heart guide you. When we called the agncy with our decision they said that lots of people chose the country because "it felt right".

[NeshRoo]

My DH and I also had the same choice to make, and we eventually chose China. Some of the reasons were already listed: (in no particular order)
1) we wanted a girl
2) we felt there was a greater need in China for loving homes (there are more children waiting for homes in China)
3) We also liked that we would get to travel to China and visit the country. I think there is good argument for the Korean program where you don't have to travel also, so this was harder to choose between.
4) MY DH studies Chinese medicine and so felt more "drawn" to China
5) the number of other families in my area with children from China and the many programs avail. for them

One thing that is true of the Korean program that I liked a lot is that the babies are placed with foster families at a very young age. Many people feel that this helps the child adjust better to their forever family when adopted. In contrast, many children from China are from orphanages. Some people suggest they have mroe "bonding" issues, etc. associated w/ being raised in this type of system. (I can not speak for the actual "problems" inherent in either system as I am a plant scientist, and not a sociologist!! And have NO experience with this topic; I jsut read A LOT!

But, in conclusion, GO WITH YOUR HEART! And this may upset a few people, but if you can't deside, allow "fate" to chose for you. Such as, we fell in love with this one adoption agency, and they DO NOT have a Korean program, so it was obvious to me that we were ment to stick with China (I say this because I am SOOOO tired of waiting to turn 30, and keep trying to go with a differnt country, but my DH says that we chose China for the right reasons, and we'll stick with our choice....).

Anyway, good luck in your journey!
-NeshaRoo

[jasonsmom]

We had originally planned on going with the Korea program but then we found out about the wait. Our SW told us that until last summer Korea had a relatively short wait; now many more people have jumped on that bandwagon and the wait doubled. I liked that Korea had a one week visit (not interested in escort option - I think it's important to see where the baby comes from), gets regular health reports and our agency deals mostly with foster homes there. Our agency just made a new policy where you cannot request a girl unless you already adopted from Korea. We had applied to the agency before this went into effect so we could have still applied for a girl since we already have a son. We went with China because there is a shorter wait and we want to adopt a girl. Looking at our community, also, she will not be the only child from China with caucasian parents.

Paula

[prechrswife]

I'm new here, but I wanted to add my two cents. When we started looking at international adoption, we first were leaning toward Korea. The main reason for this is the escort option. (I really don't enjoy flying. ) What we did not like was not having much of a choice in which agency to work with. Also, we feel that the need is greater in China than in Korea. As far as I know, the children from both countries are usually fairly healthy. We also have friends who have adopted from China that had very positive experiences. And I'm coming to terms with the long flight part of the whole experience.

[ShivaWolf]

My sister and I started researching international adoption together.....She chose Korea -less of a wait (at that time) younger babies, children are raised in foster homes, and escort. She found a beautiful little girl, a waiting child with achondroplasia. She ended up going to Korea to get her daughter after much discussion and research on the benefits of visiting her daughter’s birthplace.
I chose China for all the reasons listed above including the fact that it just feels right