[KylaJean]

Hi,

I am new to the adoption scene and I just was looking for some kind of info on how to get started with an international adoption. I was looking more twords adopting a child from China which is why I am posting here.

I am the mother of 3 beautiful children who are now 6,8,and 10. My husband is in the US Army. Which I am not sure if this would hurt us in succeeding in an adoption process since we move around alot.

I would like to adopt a little girl who is atleast a year old or around there. But really age isnt a big factor with me. I am looking more twords a girl since I currently have 2 boys and 1 girl.

I guess mainly I am looking for somewhere I can look that shows all the costs kinda broken down and the process and steps that I and my husband will need to take.

I am not looking to adopt any time in the near future I am mainly looking now so I can learn and explore all options and costs.

Thanks

[donnagenelle]

Hi, I am using bethany Christian Services. i don't know if there is one close to you but here is the site to request an info package. http://www.bethany.org/A55798/bethan...orm&InfoPacket

The main page is just bethany.org


Hope this helps.
Jason

[Sean&Shan]

I am currently reading Toddler Adoption, The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best on the advice of our SW. It goes into a lot of detail about some of the joys and complications of adopting and introducing a todder to other children in the family. It also talks both about domestic and international adoption. You might find it worthwhile reading if you can find it at your local library (I think Amazon might also sell used copies at much discounted rates). Just a suggestion, one more piece of info to help you in your decision making.

[Marshie]

Hi Kyla!

I just wanted to say hello because we are also at the beginning of the adoption journey (though I plan to start the process in the spring or early summer). I am the mother of 3 beautiful children as well, who happen to be 6, 8 and 10 and are two boys and a girl! My husband wants to adopt a toddler, but I am still torn about it.

Anyways, good luck and best wishes in your journey. You could request info packets from several different agencies (Harrahs, Great Wall, CCAI and others) to get a feel for what the costs are and the process, or even email a few of them to see if any stand out. Thats what we started doing several months ago, and have decided to use Harrah's (though the others seem great as well).

Anyways, good luck and best wishes in your journey.
Marsha

[Sheba]

Hi and welcome,

I also have 3 children, 10, 4, and 2. We are using European Adoption Consultants and have had a great experience. Check out their website. I know when I started I went and called around and ordered a bunch of information packets from different agencies and just started reading them. Some even sent us videos which was great. I do not believe your husband being in the Army will be a problem. There are others on the board in the same situation.

Welcome and if I can help just pm me. We are waiting to be dtc anyday. Hoping for a January date still. Oh I have 2 girls and one boy and getting a 3rd girl.


Good luck.

Julie

[Maybe-a-girl]

Ok, this seems the right place to post because I too have three children (boys) ages 5 1/2, 7 1/2 & 9 1/2.
My husband and I began to check into the adoption subject mid December. We have even mailed in an application and been preliminary accepted. Right now we are in a holding pattern because we have a few issues holding us up. 1. a health issue that may be nothing, but needs to be checked out before proceeding. 2. how in the world will we put 4 children through college? 3. is china right for us? what about russia? 4. 6 years age difference between our new little girl (OH YES, it would be a girl!) and our youngest son.

I would be interested knowing if any of you had struggled with these issues.

[Marshie]

1. a health issue that may be nothing, but needs to be checked out before proceeding.

I can't help you on this one, but I wish you the best of luck with it.

2. how in the world will we put 4 children through college?

we talked about this, a LOT, and I finally just ended up with if I can save $15,000+ in a years time, I must be superwoman and can therefore acheive any goal! Hopefully with the help of grants and scholarships, and some more good saving skills on my part, it will all work out.

3. is china right for us? what about russia?

I can't explain it, but its -always- been China for me. Since I was about 14 years old I used to tell people I was going to adopt a chinese baby someday. As I grew older I figured the feeling would go away, but even after having biological children I still feel like I really want/need to do this. Many others here have chosen China because of its reliability, professional manner in which they do the adoptions, health of the children (low occurance of fetal alcohol, attachment disorder or drug abuse with the parents), availability of baby girls, and I believe the cost is lower than it is with Russia. Only your heart can tell you where your daughter is though!

4. 6 years age difference between our new little girl (OH YES, it would be a girl!) and our youngest son.

Wow, uhm...there are a few factors in why I waited until my youngest was older to adopt, the main one being that I'm not 30 just yet But also, my kids are constantly at each other. Mom, she's looking at me! Mom, he stole my toy! Mom! Mom! Mom! Its enough to drive you insane sometimes! By the time this one is old enough to pester her siblings, they'll all be pre-teens and up, so most likely have a much different relationship with her than they do with each other. On the downside, my kids always have someone around to play with and this baby probably would not (as I don't plan on having 5 kids!). But, I was raised as an only child (I have 7 siblings, but was not raised with them) and I'm a work at home mom, so I'm prepared to take on the role of playmate and see about playgroups in the area (perhaps FWCC will have some in my area by then).

Marsha

[Sheba]

Hello, I will take a stab at these questions. I have the three kids.

1. I do not know your health issues but I do know someone who was very sick and still could adopt, they just had to have lots of notes from the dr stating the condition and how it affects the adoption.

2. I agree with Marsha about how much money we can come up with when we want it bad enough. I did not have my parents to help me go to college and I went and double majored. So it can be done, but we plan to help as much as possible and will take it as it comes. We stress good grades a lot! Also my son is 7 years older than my daughter so we have a gap there to prepare for. It will be the three girls who will probably wind up all a year or two apart. WOW! Dating is going to be fun!

3. I also just knew China once we decided to adopt. I checked out all other countries but was drawn to China for many reason. I love the culture, we wanted a girl, good health records, adoptions already in place there, know people who have been there and adopted and it was slightly cheaper. Not that, that really mattered. This is more a personal choice for everyone.

4. Well my son is 7 years older than Kathryn, and Kathryn is 18months older than Christina. They fight alot and pull on their younger sister alot but truly love each other. I agree it gets insane and sometimes I ask myself what are we doing adopting another one! Especially when I have to clean the entire house, do laundry and work 40+ hours. Anyways, the gap with my oldest and his sister is due to different fathers. My current husband is not my son's dad, so it just kind of fell that way. Found hubby and had more kids and could not be happier. Even my son's dad loves our girls! So it really is not a problem. Except I cannot wait to have no more daycare. The two oldest fight sometimes but most of the times they are great. My daughter tries to boss her brother around. Not a good idea! Anyways I will have 3 girls and 1 boy the opposite of you but it will all work out.

I hope this helps a little. Just our situation and opinion. But I am glad to see how many other people already have three children and are planning on adopting. Most people think we are insane!


Julie

[Marshie]

Originally Posted by Sheba

But I am glad to see how many other people already have three children and are planning on adopting. Most people think we are insane!

Hey, who says we aren't insane? Life's more fun with a bit of insanity anyways hehe

[Sheba]

So true! It makes life more interesting. Just think about when they are eating us out of house and home or in my case the girls shopping for school and my son eating us out of house and home! ha ha . Husband says he never wants to go shopping with them nor know when any womanly things happen. He will just hide in the basement after our son goes to College! Men what babies!


Julie

[KylaJean]

Thank you all for all the tips and stuff you have all posted. When looking and browsing around I found out one of the requirments is that you must be 30 to adopt from china and well I am not 30 and will not be for a little over 3yrs. So I started looking into possibly a Korean adoption since their age requirment starts out at 25.

Thanks again everyone

[soontobethree]

If I might suggest a great book that helped my husband and I in the decision whether to adopt....the book is "Adopting for Good" by Jorie Kincaid. It addressed all of the issues that we were struggling with. We have adopted twice from Vietnam and are now awaiting a referral from China.