[momraine]

Do you guys have issues with strangers coming up to you and asking personal questions about your child?

[jessnboys]

All too often Usually my boys answer before I can. Especially to the "twin" question. My friend's son is autistic and we were at the bank when a lady kept staring at him. He was growing more & more uncomfortable until he finally looked at her and said "I"m autistic, what's your excuse?" Her jaw dropped and she left. I waited until I was out of sight before I started laughing. We get a lot of feeding tube questions, especially now that it's gone. It looks like M has 2 bellybuttons.

The question that annoys me is the "what happened to M's mom?" when they find out he's adopted. If it's someone I don't know I respond with "wow, that's a really personal story". M will answer that she loves me super much". I've always told him that she did the hardest thing ever by letting him live with me.
Anyway, that's a bit off subject.

[qs mom]

I don't have a physically disabled child. But he does have issues -neuro/pysc.

He does have some physical limitations, but they aren't immediately visable. He is 8 years old and cannot ride a bike. He cannot ride a bike because his hips and knees are turned opposite of normal from w sitting. When trying to peddle, his knees hit over the bar, he can't maintain balance. Tons of kids have picked on him and asked why.

But my son asks me questions when he sees kid like yours, or he would ask you as their mom. What happened to his/her legs? Can they fix it? Because we belong to a skating group for the disabled, he knows a lot of kids who are differently abled and just tries to understand. His 2 best friends from that group are Paige who has CP and is wheelchair bound and Grace who is non-verbal autistic. He adores them both.

But strangers can be just plain stupid. I had a woman withness my son during a high anxiety moment of bouncing around, talking loudly, etc. and ask me if I ever though of drugging him? HUH?

I would like to say that my son and your's would be best buds, but he'd be after your daughter! He's loving girls right now! But he might get together with your little one to help torment your daughter!

[momraine]

Well, P is not into boys, LOL, She tells me she will never ever kiss a boy because they are disgusting. I made her put it in writing and sign it, I still have it! Usually the questions about her legs (most girls love them cause they have hannah montana on them) or his lack of limbs, we answer very matter of factly. We usually have very few issues with kids. Adults on the other hand. . . Well we have been asked many times about thier "real" parents. For both of my kids thier biological parents abandoned them because of thier limbs. My daughter's parents really wanted a better life for her. My son's just flat out did not want him. So for them those are painful questions. They also ask frequently about his ethnicity. He is Roma (gypsy) but looks hispanic. We are in an area that has tons of hispanic people, most from Mexico, but my son though he looks like those kids, does not speak spanish, (though his big brothers are learning it). I also get asked all the time why I don't just get him prosthetic legs. People see stuff on TV and make assumptions about what is and is not possible. They don't realize that some of the prototypes seen on TV are one of a kind because they cost millions or have 100lb battery packs. Even some of the things commonly available for adults are not cost effective for a growing child. Also he just flat out has nothing to attach prosthetic legs to. He would have no way to control them without having at least something. Also the fancy surgeries they show of transplants and stuff will never be available for congenital amputees because you can not replace something that was never there, they don't have nueral paths for legs that they never had.
As you can see, I have had a lot of free advice on this subject, but am pretty educated on it. LOL

[qs mom]

My son is also Roma. But I live in an area with a large population of Arabs. People assume is Arabic and occasionally Hispanic. For his first blood test, the woman checking him in listed him as Hispanic without asking. The lab techs were pretty mad, because different race and ethnicities have different values on some tests.

I have been discussing with him that he is a Bulgarian gypsy. We were at a friends house last weekend and her neighbor told him that he could have a bottle of water from her cooler next door. He teasingly asked if he could have a beer. My friend said "he's Irish, give the beer!" (I'm from a drinking Irish family) Q walked up to her and said "Aunt Cheryl, I'm a Bulgarian gypsy for crying out loud!" Oh, he had a bottle of water, not beer!

Both he and I are open about him being adopted. People really are nosy. How old was he? Where was he? Why was he there? What do you know about his parents?

My son doesn't think of anyone as his parent except me. I always referred to his birth mom as R. But recently he was putting more together and he asked if she was his mom too. I said that she was his mom first. His first mom. So, he will say "that lady, what was her name, mom?' I say "R" he continues "Oh, yeah, R couldn't take care of me, so she brought me to Dr K until my mom could come for me. And my mom is the best"

But catch him on an off day and he'll tell you he wishes he was back in Bulgaria with that other lady, the first one!

[momraine]

Just wondering q, what do you put on those forms for ethnicity. I am never sure.

[waitinginnj]

Roma people are technically considered caucasion.

[qs mom]

Although many say that Roma are Caucasian, I go with the government's take - Since the Roma people originated in Northern India, I mark Asian.

If you really think of it, both your son and mine have been mistaken as Hispanic, mine for Arab/Middle Eastern, Italian, Greek, Meditrannean in general, and Indian. So how can all of they people look the same when they are from such far away places.

My son has many Indian features, so I'm going with Asian, with origins in India.