[momraine]

We just returned from a convention of amputees. One night we went out to dinner with another family. We had six total kids with us, ages, 7,7,7,11,12,14.
The 11 year old and one of the 7 year olds were both in wheelchairs (both are missing both legs and an arm) we also had a service dog with us and a second 7 year old had two prosthetic legs. (brightly colored). Well the guy was a little concerned about the dog, but it was OK. Then at the end of dinner, they are about to close and the "normal" 7 year old was waiting for a piece of dessert pizza, so they guy brought it out. He also brought out large stuffed animals for the two kids in the wheelchairs, but not for the other kids. The other mother and I both looked at each other and in unison, said, do you get that a lot? So I was wondering if any of you ever get that. Peole giving gifts to your disabled child, and often ignoring your able bodied kids. If so how do you handle it?

[mrsred]

Wow! I don't have any kids with physical disabilities, so I can't tell you how I handle it.. but just wanted to say WOW~! how did you handle it? I can just imagine the reaction my 11yr old daughter would have if for any reason a sib got a toy and she did not! So, my thoughts, (which mean nothing, are just my thoughts) are that I would not accept the gift unless they were going to bring out gifts for the other kids present, for two reasons.
!. It is insulting to the disabled child. It says, you poor thing, I have to give you a gift because you are not equal to the others.
2. It also discounts the children whose disabilities are not so visable You are not special enough to get a gift.

[Lylac]

I agree with mrsred....Although folks give my kids stuff all the time (like they never get anything) BUT...both of my kids have outward disabilities.

If someone wasn't giving all of my kids a gift. I would just tell them flat out. Thank You, but no. It's not fair the the other kids.

If they are insulted..so be it! They just insulted the other kids.

[momraine]

We actually didn't really do anything, because the man handed the gifts directly to the kids, and we were busy trying to get all the kids into the cars and they were all tired, my son was about asleep, it was late at night and we just wanted to get back to the hotel to put the kids to bed, and he just handed them to the kids and went back in so fast it was hard to do anything. We have had it happen before. The way I handle it depends on the situation.