[lisa nevius]

I was adopted through Catholic Charities in 1954. When I was 18 I went searching for answers. They originally told me my birthmother was 18 when she had me. My birthfather was overseas but he lived in Virginia and he was around the age of 20. I thought I had found a match based on this information I had. So I contacted Catholic Charities for some more info. if they had it. NOW they are telling me, my birthmother was 27,my birthfather was 30 and lived in Illinois. I am so confused. I have heard that Catholic Charities does whatever they can to protect the birth family. Even if it means changing your date of birth on your birth certificate. Can someone please help me with any info. or opinions they may have? All help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you and god bless.

[Jennie_78]

I understand what your going through. I was adopted out of CC also, and none of the info given to me at birth has helping in my search, I also have a searcher helping me. And nothing yet. I have been involved in my search since I was 15, now that I am 24, I still have no gotten any solid information. I did my homework on CC, and they are allowed to change the city and d/o/b to protect the birth mother, and that is altering the information you will have to grow up believeing and live your life by, and its wrong.. Contact me at jeni_80@hotmail.com, we can maybe help eachother out.

[joseph gray]

I AM 40-41-42 YEARS OLD I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR OVER 20 YEARS. AND AT FIRST CC SAID I WAS BORN ON JAN 22 1961. AND THAT5 I WAS BORN IN DETROIT MI. AT PROVIDENCE HOSPITAL. SO I PAID A SEARCH AGENCY OVER 200 DOLLARS. WELL THEY COULDN'T EVEN FIND MY BRITH CER. SO I PAY CC 250. DOLLARS AND THEY TELL ME I WAS BORN ON 5 30 1960 MORE MONEY. WELL NOW I FIND OUT THAT I WAS BORN ON 5-30-1962 AND I WAS BORN AT PROVIDENCE HOSPITAL, BUT NOT IN DETROIT MI. BUT IN EVERETT WASHINGTON, NOW I AM GOING TO HAVE TO START ALL OVER. SO THEY THINK IT OK IT NOT THE UP TO THEM TO GIVE YOU THE RIGHT NO-ID THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!! WELL THAT WHAT I THINK OF CC

[kjm69]

Hi All,
I am a Bmom who gave up my daughter at the age of 17. My family was Catholic and they used Catholic Charites out of Washington DC. When my daughter looked for me she went first to the state of Maryland because that is where the adoption was legalized. The state of MD asked her who handled her adoption and she told them CC. She was then referred to CC and a confidential intermediary (CI) was assigned to her which was a social worker. They do this because the state has enough to do for their own cases. She paid CC $400 to "unseal" the records, but received no paperwork what so ever for that money.

Now the state of MD enacted a law in Oct 1999 to open records through a CI. I am thinking that CC must act in accordance with the state laws. If I were you I would contact the state you were born in and see if they have any programs intact for search and reunion. If they do then CC must abide by those State laws!!

My daughter and I have been in re-union for 2 years now and I am now starting to ask for documentation of her birth. I have received a copy of the original birth Certificate, but am not being allowed to view the records that CC has on me. Which upsets me very much. I want the relinquishment papers as well, but have been told they are in the sealed records.

It is very frustrating to try and get anything out of these people even after all parties are aware!!

I am in the process of appealing the Archdiocee (sp) of Washington DC. I would suggest you do the same.

Fortunately for me my daughters birth date etc was not changed and she had correct information on me and her bdad.

In my opinion it is illegal to change a person's date of birth!!! And if I were you I would check this out with the vital records dept. in your State and ask to talk to someone in the adoption dept.

By the way your original BC should be attached to your "amended" one.

Wouldn't this make a great Oprah show??

Good Luck!!

Welcome to the jungle. I am a birth mother so on the opposite side. 1. See if you birth parent has signed a waiver of confidentiality. They are not always truthful - they discourage the adoptee and the birth parent makeing both sides think the other doesn't want to reunite. I have had a time with them over the last few months - they claim they keep a log in your file and keep track of calls from either side.
My son was born in Maryland and adopted out of Virginia (I think). One thing they did tell me is that they did not alter his birthdate on his new birth certificate.
Maybe over time these people will get it. It is sad the the messenger between us is so uncaring. A grateful recovering catholic, Laura Beall, birthmom

Remember: Every birth mom I have ever talked to or met wants to be reunited with their child more than anything else.

One other thing is that I am not sure it is legal for an agency to have a minor sign papers and not provide copies. I am checking on that one. The law states that reliquishment is binding upon a minor, I read that in some of the legal research I did. However, I am not sure that having a minor sign adoption papers without providing the minor a copy is legal. I am checking on that. Laura

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Good grief! I was adopted out of Catholic Charities too. I recently began a search and first called the adoption section of Catholic Charities in Kansas City,MO. I sent them copies of the papers I have and at the first of the year I got some copies of papers that are supposed to be non id about my origins....But after reading the posts above, I am not sure it is truthful. The CI who is assigned my case has not contacted me in almost a month and I have sent a couple of emails to her but no acknowldgement so far. Just when you think you have something no matter how little it is, it could be wrong!

I am about ready to investigate the possibility of finding a good PI. They are expensive but for some of us time is important and this just is not right. AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH

Dealing with CC can be awful or wonderful and it depends on the agency. I have done extensive research on how they deal with this issue and get all mixed reports. And you are right thinking that they have to abide by the law. Unfortunately they spin the truth and work around it.
Suggestion: keep a log of who you speak with and what they say, date & time.
Ask direct questions - for example they told me I could sign a waiver of confidentiality - I said great then my son can see the file. They said no, that is just to release non-id info. (keep in mind they know I am trying to find out how I can make my info available) - I said, what if I add my name, address & phone number, CC says - you can do that. Then I say will you give it to him, they say no.
Get the point - they do not give directions and intentionally try to misguide you. Just be diligent with them, they won't be with you.
I hope those of you working with the CC's in your area have wonderful luck and success. Laura Beall

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Hi, Laura,

thank you for your insight about the various CCs. I sent an email yesterday, friendly in tone and asked a few questions which really were not answered. I have some interesting non id info and it asserts that my biodad was a non com in the Army Air Force and my biomom was in the Army Nurse Corps. I just asked a few questions around that situation because anyone who has any experience in the military knows that fraterinazation between enlisted ranks and officer ranks is a big NONO. And if I am not mistaken, people in the Army Nurse Corps were all nurses and as such officers. So my questions were surrounding that issue and questions about the circumstances surrounding my relinquishment. What haunts me about the whole thing is that in 91 my mom said " I always thought your biological mother should have been allowed to keep you." I did not know how to take that and she would not explain. So that prompted my questions. The only reply in regard to that is that in my file, there is a sheet of paper that talks about her rank and financial situation but that cannot be released. Still did not address the question of the reliquishement which was did her parents push this or someone else.

I sent an email back with some military stuff and did mention that with a rank but no name or SSN or in those days a service number there is no locater who could beging to find a person if that was what the concern may be. How do I know this? I am retired military. Is that something or what? The bio parents had military backgrounds of some kind and I went in the service too and made a career out of it. wonders never cease...

[Blue Irish Eyes]

I have all my emails dealing with questions and replys regarding my case. And a file too!

[Lucky]

I work for the Diocese of Kansas City-St. Joseph, who run the Catholic Charities in Kansas City. I have talkd to several people who work in this department, and do not believe the information would be altered. They wouldl give you what they could as long as they had the information. I don't think they would change any information. But I certainly can understand why you would feel this way. Where did you get the information from the first time?

[pollylday]

Dear Lisa,
I hope you get better info from them then I have, I have for 30 plus years known my b/d's b/day as 06/26/72, have ALWAYS known this date, in my herat and my mind, this is something I know I would not or could not forget, I also know what date I last got to see my baby, and hold my baby and kissed my girl goodbye, only to be told that the date of birth is different than what I know it to be, and I have been told that back in the 50's 60's and as late as the 70's they were known to change the d.o.b.to the date of adoption. A friend of mine told me this was so the b/m, could not ever find her child, not to spare her.
The first time, and even the second time, I was in contact with C.C., there was a lady that was so helpful, and kind, a sweet grandma type, but when I called a third time, I was told, I couldn't speak, to the lady I had before, and this lady was very nasty, I got no more help, and now I can't even get my calls returned now. Just be on your toes, you as the adoptee should get more help, they have to give you all non/id info. polly

[eyejustam]

I have requested information from the Boston Catholic Charities several times and have had a good experience with them. The lady I spoke with both times was very helpful. I received the same information both times. The only problem I had with them was that they told me they had a picture of my husbands bdad but could not send it. We have received a lot of non id information but have had no luck in finding his bparents or bfamily.
Susan & John Lee (Michael McNeeley)

[jbickett]

I have had the same problem with Catholic Charities! They told me they found my **'s parents and knew her name and everything, then they told me it was amistake and that they could not find my records. they sent me a letter saying they were ending my search. I tried to contact them, but no one would take my call!

[Jennie_78]

I totally believe you... I have never been able to find anything with the info i was given from CC... I dont know what else to do either... those liars will have to answer to someone of a higher power one day... And i hope they will have a good enough excuse for their actions...