[cf5]

I delt with Laura Long (lblong@comcast.net) from CC in Kansas City, Missouri. She kept in constant contact with me even if only to report that she had nothing new. I feel confident that she did everything in her power to help me reunite with my b-mother (who didn't sign the papers because she was afraid of the reactions of her husband and children). On one single pice of paper that came home with me from St. Anthony's Home for Infants (a feeding schedule), the name "Dawn Ann Lewis" appeared at the top. Since I was a child I had always thought that actually had been my name. Laura said that the b-mother would have never even been able to hold me much less name me & that I had been given a name for my first baptism (Catholic Nuns felt that if you died before you were baptized that you would not go to heaven, so every baby was baptised as soon as possible -- then I was re-baptized later by my adoptive family). Another interesting thing that I was told is that CC protected the identity of their mothers at all costs, even from other mothers. They were given fake names to use if they lived in the home for unwed mothers. Additionally, they set up a way for families to pretend that the birth never happened. For example, the daughter of a rich family in NY would send their daughter to KCMO before she started showing. The girl would tell all of her friends and family that she was going to CA to try to be a actress. If any letters were exchanged during the period she was gone, they would be sent to CC in CA and forwarded. If the girl wrote back, they would go to CA first so the postmark would be correct. I would guess that this would only happen with rich families because poor ones couldn't afford it. As for the birth date and birth place being wrong, I am now curious about my own but I think that the times that this change would have been made would have been very few. In addition, if the change was made on the paperwork at the time of the birth/adoption, the people at CC today would have no idea about that unless it was noted in the files in some way. Otherwise, it is possible that names are similar and got mixed up or some other explainable mistake. The one person said they hired a non-CC agency who kept telling him various birth dates. Maybe he got a fly-by-night company who was just taking his money!!

[eyejustam]

I just wanted to give an over due update. I finally found my DH's first mom and family. I found them in August of 2004. Because we had his amended baptism certificate, it had the name of the church he was baptised at. I called them and asked for a copy of his original certificate. Within 5 days I held the paper that had his first mothers name on it. They had misspelled her last name. I also had his foster mothers name. I then sent out letters to every person with her last name and asked for people to please call if they knew her or her family. On Sunday, August 15 I got a phone call from his first moms cousin. We talked for a few minutes and he called DH's mom's sister. She immediately called me. We talked and she had info that only we would know and we had info that only they would know. She called her other 2 sisters and they decided that we should come ASAP. DH's first mom was in a nursing home and not doing well. We left the next morning and drove from SC to MA. We finally met his first mom and Aunts on August 17. She died 2 months later. She got her final wish, to see her baby boy one more time before she died. We still see and talk to the rest of his first moms family. He has 2 bio brothers. It is great. Only now my DH is terminally ill. His oldest brother is very upset because they just found each other and now DH is dying. But at least my DH got to meet his first mom and know that she loves him and always has and the reson he was placed for adoption. I don't know if CC mis spelled DH's birth last name on purpose or if the foster mother misspelled it. He was placed at 3 months of age not from the hospital. Most of the information CC gave us was correct. They did however change some of the info about the first father. Good luck everyone. I know how you feel. It took me 17 years to find his family.

[D28Bob]

So sorry to hear of your hub's illness. Adoption can be so unfair - I only found I had a half sister a few months ago, but she died in February, before I had a chance to meet her. It still hurts.

[kristia79]

I Too Feel That I Have Been Lied To. The Dr Who Delivered Me Practiced In Va Only...ever....and I Was Told I Was Born In Washington Dc. I Also Asked Almost 1 Year Ago To Be Placed On The List For Mutual Consent And Am Still Awaiting My Papers To Arrive(4-6 Weeks Mind You) I Cant Believe The Cc Can Charge People $400 To Find Out Information That Most Other People Know For Free From Day One And Take For Granted. I Asked Them "what If I Don't Have That Kind Of Moey To Give?" They Told Me It Is A Small Price To Pay For The Work It Would Involve. What Work? Looking Something Up In A Computer Database Or At The Most Having It Sent From An Archive? The More I See The Less I Know......

[FAYE56]

I was never able to find bfamily based only on my non-id, but once the judge gave me her name and I found a huge family tree on ancestry.com - a lot of what was in the non-id matched what I found in the family tree.

and yes, I was adopted through the Catholic Charities here in NJ - where they don't give you much.

What they did do though, was have me come in to pickup my non-id and they read through my file with me there - again they still didn't release any identifying info

[kristia79]

I just checked my amended BC with my adoptive parents names on it and the filing date is January 10,1979. How can something be filed a week before I was born allegedly on January 17,1979? CC has some explaining to do...

[cf5]

It is illegal in every state to alter a birth date. If it was ever done, it was probably quite some time ago (at least before the mid-70's) when laws were a little more lax and the church had more power. Bad record keeping or incompetent searchers are another thing entirely and can put a major kink in any search. Good Luck!!

[bakerjw]

CC in Peoria, Il. has been a little helpful for me. They contacted me several years ago when my BMother wanted to see if I would be open to communication. At the time I wasn't but since have started looking for her. They are willing to start a search (that they already have info on) for $300.00.

I finally had to send them a pretty heated letter just to get the date of my adoption, the county, and the case number.

The state of Illinois also offers a CI search program for a little under $300.00.
CI Illinois
It is free if you were in the DCFS system which is my case. Personally I would rather give the money to the state of Illinois than one of the "Charities".

[ChelseaCherieL]

Hi, I was adopted in 1973. I didn't have any issues at all with CC. I contacted them for NON - Identifying information which I have a legal right to. I joined a support group for adoptees searching for birth family. They found my BIRTH INDEX (at the library where all births are documented they said) and that gave them the last name of my birth mom. I am in Ohio, she lived in Colorado. She was flown to OHio to give birth then flew back. The agency said that I could "GUESS" things. I also worked closely with the Probate lady. I found more often then not that you have to play there game to get the information you want and ask a lot of questions.
I was reunited with my birthfamily in less then a month. It was all I did was search. I realize that I am one of the lucky ones. I asked a zillion questions and called anyone/everyone I could think of.

Look for support groups
get a notebook and join every FREE search index online you can
And call all the time .

I know in ohio that all you do is have to show up in court before a certain birth year and your entitled to your docments. my cousin did this as well and she was through CC.

Good Luck.

[smurray]

[ i was adopted thru cath. char. in illinois, they charge a few hundred bucks for non id info which sucks! you can get a confindential intermediary if there is one in your state that can ask the judge to open file then they contact your ma or dad and see if they want contact etc.. i am in that process right now, good luck! i was adopted in 1960, well, born in 60 adopted 61. QUOTE=lisa nevius]I was adopted through Catholic Charities in 1954. When I was 18 I went searching for answers. They originally told me my birthmother was 18 when she had me. My birthfather was overseas but he lived in Virginia and he was around the age of 20. I thought I had found a match based on this information I had. So I contacted Catholic Charities for some more info. if they had it. NOW they are telling me, my birthmother was 27,my birthfather was 30 and lived in Illinois. I am so confused. I have heard that Catholic Charities does whatever they can to protect the birth family. Even if it means changing your date of birth on your birth certificate. Can someone please help me with any info. or opinions they may have? All help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you and god bless.[/quote]

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Originally Posted by smurray

[ i was adopted thru cath. char. in illinois, they charge a few hundred bucks for non id info which sucks! you can get a confindential intermediary if there is one in your state that can ask the judge to open file then they contact your ma or dad and see if they want contact etc.. i am in that process right now, good luck! i was adopted in 1960, well, born in 60 adopted 61. QUOTE=lisa nevius]I was adopted through Catholic Charities in 1954. When I was 18 I went searching for answers. They originally told me my birthmother was 18 when she had me. My birthfather was overseas but he lived in Virginia and he was around the age of 20. I thought I had found a match based on this information I had. So I contacted Catholic Charities for some more info. if they had it. NOW they are telling me, my birthmother was 27,my birthfather was 30 and lived in Illinois. I am so confused. I have heard that Catholic Charities does whatever they can to protect the birth family. Even if it means changing your date of birth on your birth certificate. Can someone please help me with any info. or opinions they may have? All help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you and god bless.

[/quote]
That sound pretty standard for CC. I was born in MO. Several years ago that is the route I took. I paid the fees for the Non id info and they assigned a CI to try to contact the natural parents. They did not bother with the father..not sure why but got a locate on the mother who never replied and after several months the case was closed. I would suggest getting your non id infomation. all your adoption papers with court dates and numbers. I don't know IL law but MO law requires for a search permission of the adoptive parents no matter how old the adoptee is and if the adoptive parents are deceased you need proof by way of death certificates. When I ran into a dead end I hired a good and well known PI to get the information .
If you go that route, be prepared for the worst..that the natural family does not want contact. It happens to some of us. Also if you use a PI make sure there is a clause of NO FIND NO FEE AND check them out carefully before going ahead. Not all are good. Other avenues are search angels which can be very helpful and successful. Good luck.